I want to commit Hipster-cide

My main transport is bike but I commute by car 2-3 times per year and tonight was one of them

Queuing at a red light on my usual commute I noticed a bike in my mirrors tearing down the pavement with several pedestrians rapidly having to get out of the way

Im first in line and hipster boy hops off the curb in front of me and takes the shot despite it still being red

I move off on green and catch him riding double primary with knobs on making it impossible to safely overtake, the road was wide enough that I could have done easily if hed ridden sensibly but as he was 3/4 of the way to the centre I couldnt

Still this gave me time to admire his Giles Berthoud mudguards, take a guess at his gearing, pour scorn on his choice of cheap Chinese flashing multi lumens and also slag off his predictable taste in Rapha 🙂

Its rush hour and so we both soon hit more traffic at which point he drops primary position for a narrow undertake that id never do in a million years on the car in front and then skips back on to the pavement again to do the next 4 cars

And all the time I want to kill him

This is my usual cycle commute, its bad enough out there as another poster has said tonight, without other road users and members of the public being messed around by selfish cockwombles like this winding up everybody on the road and pavement to be even more anti cyclist than they are

But at least I had time for my passenger to open and run Strava so with the help of the flyby I now know who he is and where he lives

Hipster-cide probably carries a custodial sentence, what about a dog turd through his letterbox?

Cheers

The real sporticus would have caught up with him and had the balls to speak. (probably offering some Sports Candy as he used his charm). You are a complete fanny. No real need to point out why.

I commute by car 2-3 times per year and tonight was one of them

Someone really helpful would have read the first line of the post.

(No real need to point out why)

Well yes I suppose I could have caught him but jumping traffic driving a Vauxhall on the pavement would possibly have attracted the Feds

Why dont bikes have number plates too?
And pay road tax?
etc
etc

This is my usual cycle commute, its bad enough out there as another poster has said tonight, without other road users and members of the public being messed around by selfish cockwombles like this winding up everybody on the road and pavement to be even more anti cyclist than they are

This is how I feel about it too

the Feds

The Feds? We don’t have feds in the United Kingdom, what with not being a federal republic. So where are you talking about?

Do you even know the words to the national anthem?

I believe he may be a “youth” into that there hippity hop and influenced by it. Or is my age and watched a lot of Ali G .
You do know in the new regime we just stand in respectful silence or belt out the red flag.
😀

The Feds?

I think he means the Po-Po?… or it could be the Five-oh or the PD or the Rozzers or summink? Peelers?

Currently, I find I use the term “The Rozzers” when I’m referring to, err, the rozzers. I’m sure it’s just a phase I’m going through.

I was taking the mick out of a pair of hipsters recently

they took offence

apparently the politically correct term is conjoined twins

IGMC

Too many 😆 in this thread.

Make him drink a can of Fosters, as opposed to his usual ‘craft’ ale, and force him to eat a none gourmet burger, maybe from Macdonalds, but definitely not on an ‘artisan’ brioche bun.

He’ll dissolve like the witch in the wizard of oz

Make him drink a can of Fosters, as opposed to his usual ‘craft’ ale, and force him to eat a none gourmet burger, maybe from Macdonalds, but definitely not on an ‘artisan’ brioche bun.

Can of Kestrel and a microwaved Rustler. Finish him off quick. No need to be cruel.

But at least I had time for my passenger to open and run Strava so with the help of the flyby I now know who he is and where he lives

Yeah right.

No need to be cruel.

You think that’S not being cruel? I’m sure Amnesty will be banging on your door soon for just suggesting that!

OP, and you really think it was a problem???

Then imagine that: I was driving a company van 2 days ago and for about 1km I had a dude in front of me riding in white, very thin lycra shorts (not bib-shorts) and cotton t-shirt which rolled nicely up under his rucksack…

Oh yes, he was keeping to his lane, he wasn’t doing anything stupid, he had lights, he had helmet, he was keeping good pace. I couldn’t overtake him due to the roadworks.

Oh God… I still can’t get rid of that hairy crack from my memory….. 😯

Last night walking down Cannon St I walked past a bloke rooting through the bin bags outside a cafe/bakery type establishment (think it may have been Eat). I think this type of person is call a Freetarian. Anyway, fair enough I though then clocked what he was wearing – skinny Rapha jeans (cut off, obviously), Assos fingerless gloves and a Castelli Gabba top. Leant up against the wall was a nice vintage Corima low pro track bike with a Mavic tri-spoke front wheel and I think what was a Lightweight fixed rear wheel. Bloke obviously sporting Campag hat and rubbish 60’s inspired tattoo’s all over his legs.

‘well’ I though to myself…’at least he’s got his priorities right’….

And all the time I want to kill him

Have a word with yourself.

OK first off its binners for the win
Lets face it homicide is just too high risk and the dog turd option requires me to man up and visit his house in person which Im too much of a bed wetter to actually carry out

Im serous about the Starva stalk though, its a bit scary how easy it is to hunt someone down through Strava and the only reason I was in the car with a passenger was that I errrr needed to give a lift so had a passenger

The main reason for my protest remains:

This is my usual commute by bike
Every day I get abuse and aggro from motorists
Today for example I had one person reverse from their driveway into my path, another car pull ahead of me in an ASZ then turn left across me on green and someone else swerve into the cycle lane whilst on a mobile

The above is all “normal” and whilst I can largely anticipate it shouldnt happen yet it does every single day

Yet some Rapha clad fashion victim tosspot rides like a **** yesterday and just about everybody else assumes this is how all cyclists normally behave terrorising the pavements and causing havoc on the roads

Most cyclists on my commute keep themselves nice
But the one that doesnt antagonises lots and lots of road users and pedestrians doing those of us who behave no favours at all

If only crap driving got as much publicity as crap cycling in the Daily Mail

Cheers!

That shit rider is just like those shit drivers. No difference, except he isn’t tooled up to kill. He doesn’t warrant your ire any more than any of the other idiots we share the road with. Let it lie. Have a beer.

I refer you to my post from just the other day*

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/beware-the-east-london-fixie-freaks-long-dull-post-warning

*5 years ago