I Think I Just Went Dogging

I like to think I am pretty broadminded and don’t easily shock however this afternoon I was certainly mildly surprised, maybe even mildly shocked.

On the usual dog walk loop from carpark to coastal path and back we had the misfortune to meet a couple of cyclists, Toby the dog hates cyclists so was then ramped up for the rest of the walk so I decided to cut it short. Note to first cyclist though, thank you, warning bell ring from distnace allowed me to get Toby tucked in and under control.

So I cut through the small copse that is in front of the car park rather than following the loop all the way round, I have been through before so nothing unusual just followed the paths as normal. Then! I looked up ahead of me to see a completely naked human running off into the trees. Toby didn’t bat an eyelid, nothing, clearly naked people are less of a threat than bikes. But it didn’t end there, as i hurried Toby along making sure I made noises to make it clear i was heading out of the woods, I made the mistake of turning my head to see another human, hiding his lower half behind some bushes. Recounting it now it is making me giggle mainly becasue I swear he was the spitting image of Jim from Friday Night Dinner, but at the time I just wanted to get out. In my head we were now surrounded by naked people and I had to run. You know that feeling you get on a night ride when Werewolves are chasing you? That!

So although not intentional but by the sheer fact I had a dog with me and was surrounded by naked people, have I just been dogging? And ALSO WTF! It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Mid week matinée

Mid week matinée

You say this as if you are completely non-plussed by my experience, is this normal 🙂

Toby the dog hates cyclists

Are you not a cyclist then?

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Tory leadership contest? Were there biscuits?

Pics or it didn’t happen

Jim from Friday Night Dinner

actually, on seconds thoughts, maybe not

Are you not a cyclist then?

This is odd I agree, he hangs around me on bikes all the time without issue but anyone else…………..forget it.

actually, on seconds thoughts, maybe not

Before death

Sloppy seconds thoughts?

What3Words location? Since it’s not a life or death situation.

Or has BigJohn just given it already?

Is this not a regular occurrence? I’d say I have such an encounter once per year. Maybe not in the middle of the day, but the action sounds familiar.

I usually just give a cheery greeting as I ride past.

Sloppy seconds thoughts?

My only thoughts were how to escape before they all converged on me like in a zombie apocolypse

Is this not a regular occurrence?

Considering myself and an awful lot of other dog……………..walkers, yes, walkers, use the area every day I can’t say I have come across it before. But now I have recounted my experience to friends who are proper locals they have said “Why are you surprised, it’s a local male meet up site” My favorite dog walk is forever sullied

Is the OP setting up a rather elaborate excuse for being where he’s been caught being?

What3Words location?

mid week matinée

Rubber_Buccaneer

Kyuk.

So although not intentional but by the sheer fact I had a dog with me and was surrounded by naked people, have I just been dogging

Dogging doesn’t actually in involve or require dogs you know. It also usually done in cars.

OP, had the cyclist not rung their bell, would your dog then not have been “under control”?

I’m sure there are other people on here who’d share my opinion of owners such as you.

APF

That’s not dogging, it’s cottaging.

OP, had the cyclist not rung their bell, would your dog then not have been “under control”?

I’m sure there are other people on here who’d share my opinion of owners such as you

Jeez there’s always one…lighten up 🙄

That’s not dogging, it’s cottaging.

Foraging surely?

@alexpalacefan

OP, had the cyclist not rung their bell, would your dog then not have been “under control”?

I’m sure there are other people on here who’d share my opinion of owners such as you.

APF

He is reactive to cyclists, motorbikes, and intact male dogs so the fact the cyclist let me know he was heading out way rather than appearing very quickly upon us, a bit like the naked man, I was able to prepare for the situation. Not that it is any of your business but he was muzzled, on a lead, and on a footpath, is that OK with you and the other cyclists or would you like me to put him down?

Foraging surely

Yeah you’re probably right..deffo not dogging tho

Foraging surely?

Pretty sure there was some of that going on

Foraging surely?

Actually: Foraging, Nigel

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Many years ago when I was living in Chorlton, I was working from home on a lovely sunny day, getting a bit of cabin fever so decided to nip out for a spin on the bike. Theres some singletrack that takes you past a well known cottaging/dogging spot (Jacksons Boat). It was a midweek lunchtime though so I wasn’t expecting to encounter anything.

As I was weaving through the tress I saw someone walking towards me. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone and I doubt he was expecting to see me. We both stopped and stared at each other. I was wearing your standard biking kit. He, however, was dressed to impress. He was clad in a black lace basque, stockings and killer heels. He was 50+ if he was day. We did what you’d do in these situations. A nod.. alright mate… passed each other and both went on our way.

Midweek lunchtime.

I was impressed with his commitment

@alexpalacefan why did you post that? It’s really peed on my chips. I was having a bit of a laugh at the end of the work day by explaining a comical situation I found myself in and you just poured a pint of pee all over it. Is the term”I bet your fun at parties” appropriate here?

@Binners, I tip my hat to you, you have out storied me, that is brilliant!

JJ2000, I think it’s because cyclists can be entitled d****s, just like a proprtion of the general population.

We did what you’d do in these situations.

It’s funny how these things work themselves out, isn’t it?

I remember once hurrying along a canal towpath as a shortcut to get to a pub before last orders.

I was striding along when I saw in the gloom a carrier bag or something blowing in the breeze.

After a couple of steps I realised it wasn’t windy.

Couple of steps more and I realised it was moving kind of rythmically.

Couple of steps more and I realised it wasn’t a plastic bag at all but a young lady’s bottom shining out of the darkness as she straddled a fellow on a bench.

At which point I had something of a dilemma. Politeness dictated I should quietly withdraw. But, as I have indicated, I was minutes away from last orders at the boozer, which I would surely miss if I were to retrace my steps.

So I did the next best thing and pressed on past them pretending nothing was happening. And they pretended much the same thing. It was kind of a triumph of British reserve all in all.

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Midweek lunchtime.

Pffft.
Cross dresser in just stockings, knickers and bra between Ashfield and Dunblane at 8am on a Sunday morning…

Are you not a cyclist then?

Dog is probably aware that OP pays Road Tax and is hence a Motorist on a Bike rather than a dirty good-for-nothing cyclist.

So I did the next best thing and pressed on past them pretending nothing was happening. And they pretended much the same thing. It was a kind of triumph of British reserve all in all.

Nope. The next best thing is to casually say “nice evening for it” as you stroll by.

is that OK with you and the other cyclists or would you like me to put him down?

blimey, no wonder the dog is a bit skittish if his owner is that quick to anger from a forum comment

When I was much younger I went for a walk in the woods with a young lady and, well, it wasn’t premeditated but once deep in the woods and well away from civilisation we ended up with the aforementioned young lady knelt astride me doing as nature intended.

… when on a hitherto unnoticed fire road maybe ten or twenty metres away, a lad on a motocross bike rode past.

… about six times.

I went night riding in Brighton a good few years ago with that Jo Burt chap. We had a great few hours on the South Downs singletrack and then whizzed back into town via, what I now know is called ‘Queens Park’.

Our mighty 20W Vistalites (or similar…) cut a mighty beige glow through the night as we took in some of the cheeky paths (it was now probably midnight…) and, rounding the corner, lit up for a split second, were a couple of blokes… and then they, and we, were gone.

We’d gone round the corner on our way though they were still imprinted on our retinas. Perhaps it was the flash of white skin, though I do remember some stripey boxers too… Anyway, we were committed to our descent and it was only at the bottom of the hill on the seafront that we could do the ‘Did you just see…?’ – all good fun.

There’s a big park called Casa de Campo in the centre of Madrid near to where I live. Well-known place for dogging / cruising, but I thought that just went on at night.

A couple of years ago, on a busy Saturday afternoon, thousands of people around, I discovered a trail I’d never done before so decided to check it out.

First thing that told me something was up was two shifty looking men who looked like the Chuckle Brothers, 80s trackies and all, scuttled out of some bushes looking all suspicious as I rode past. Next minute I look up and see a totally butt-naked guy whistling and masturbating behind another tree. Carried on and came across a glade with 10 or so completely naked men going for it Roman orgy style on a huge picnic blanket. The trail went right past where they were (about a meter or so away), got a good look at the action. They were completely unphased.

Funniest / most random encounter I’ve had while out riding. I wish I had a GoPro to capture the moment. I’m a very open-minded person and the sight of a load of guys going for it doesn’t phase me but I did think afterwards how parents would have had to explain it to their kids.

Once I happened to pass a young semi dressed guy being photo’d by an older guy. This was in the local country Park in the early evening on a Wednesday.

🤷‍♂️

Or has BigJohn just given it already?

That made me laugh

I can’t say I have come across it before

Good to see you getting in the spirit of it though

In 30+ years of cycling I’ve not had a dogging encounter yet. I must not go to the right places.

I’ve encountered a couple of outdoor enthusiasts over the years though. Most memorable would be an unfortunate gentlemen who I assume was choking by the side of the railway climb on Tunnel Hill near Deepcut. His friend was behind him doing the Heimlich so vigorously that both their trousers had fallen down. But it clearly worked because he recovered quickly enough to run off when they saw me coming. Er, ‘saw me approaching’ might be better words.

And the other at Afan. We saw them from a long way away on the bridge between the visitor centre and the start of the trails, and there was something not right. As we got closer we could see she had one of those white featureless masks on, plus a long overcoat and high heels. And closer still, her partner was set up to be photographing her for a specialist art pamphlet, presumably.