"I can't give you any, it's illegal" – Fish n' Chip content.

I asked for scraps with my chips yesterday.

“Sorry, it’s illegal, we have to throw them away.”

I was somewhat incredulous; “Why?”

“The fat content is too high it’s illegal.”

I pointed out to her that they’re bits of the same batter that she was, at that moment serving to me.

I also pointed out that she sold butter.

Then I remembered, you can’t argue with mince and bid her a good day.

Any gems from the general public you’ve come across lately? It’s Friday afternoon.

mmmmm scraps chips n gravy.

I asked for scraps with my chips yesterday.

That was your first mistake bottom feeder 😛

on the way to an Audax in York a couple of weeks ago, popped to McDonalds before 4am, they wouldn’t sell me Porridge as it wasn’t time for the Breakfast menu, they are pots of Oat So Simple, you peel off the lid and put in hot water, the lad behind the counter didn’t get it, even when i said the coffee he was making me would have taken longer,

Puts pictonroad on the list.

Scraps, really, you be crazy fool. Tis the scrotum scrapings of the devil, FACT!

“It’s elf and safety mate.”

Translation:
I can’t be bothered.
Not my Job.
Wouldn’t do it even if it was my job, as I can’t be arsed.
I don’t know, but I don’t want you to know that

Delete as applicable

Is that a politically correct Fish & Chips shop? I love Fish & Chips but have never asked for scraps so I will try to ask next time I go for them.

Illegal? They might as well close tell people how to run their business … no wonder there are so many empty shops around. 😯

Loads of vinegar MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I nearly didn’t get any batter on top of my chips in Southampton once.. Nowt to do with the legalities of it mind, more a translation issue 350 miles South of Newcastle.

“Can I have some batter on top of my chips please?”
“Batter?”
“Yeah batter please”
“What?”
“Errmm I’m really sorry I don’t have another word for this! Can I please have some of the stuff that’s on the fish but not on the fish and is in small bits in there? That stuff (points)”
“Sorry sir I don’t know what you mean”

The GF eventually strolled in and asked the bloke if he could put some scraps on my chips which he did. I was 26 years old when I learned the alternative word to batter…

I recall them being called “fish bits”. Which is odd as they are the “not fish bits”.

Wait, this is an actual legit thing?

And you buggers give us grief for the odd (in)famous mars bar? The cheek…

Never mind scraps on top of chips, it’s the paper bag filled only with scraps, salt and vinegar that I miss.

Scrumps in Lincoln, the idiots,

don’t even do battered sausages in some parts of the UK

Where I come from we call them “bits”- “can I have that wi’bits please love?”

Haven’t had any for ages. They are delicious.

Fish bits is a new one for me – I now have 3 words… I should be good in chip shops across the land now with those in my locker.

It’s legit alright and extremely delicious, escpecially when mixed with gravy and vinegar.

do you get “pea wet” too ? as in getting a scoop of peas and wafting them over the chips so the liquid runs over, but not putting the peas on

Puts sandwicheater on the list, despite the promising forum name.

And, FYI, they are called ‘bits’

Last time I asked for that, the guy behind the counter hit me. 🙁

do you get “pea wet” too

*sniggers*

Wetherby Whaler, in Wetherby, (there are others) does scraps. Go there next time. Fish and chips are also very nice.

In our neck of the woods they’re called ‘fish bits’!

Chippie near me used to refuse to sell chip butties.

They sold chips, and tea cakes (barms, bread rolls, whatever), but absolutely refused to put one inside the other. I never did quite work that one out.

There was a lady in one our chippies who’s patter was ‘y’awriiight, luv? Saltn’ vineguuur?’ immediately after she had covered everything in lashings of salt and vinegar. Was indeed an announcement rather than a question.

I had scraps on my fish and chips on Wednesday so the law must have come in since then, or my F&C shop just don’t GAF!!

At a wedding a few years ago at The Shireburn in hurst Green, at the time I was a vegetarian and there were veggie meals available.
Young waitress brings chicken to me as my main course. ‘I’m a vegetatrian’ says I.
‘Yes I know, it’s chicken’ she replies. I repeated the fact I was vegetarian and she replied as though talking to a 4 year old, ‘Yesss, it’s chicken’

scrapings – – in newcastle

do you get “pea wet” too ?

You’re making this shit up, right?

Best similar situation I’ve experienced was in the local late night drinking hotspot. Got 2 pints of guinness for me and a mate and it tasted bloody terrible. cue amazing conversation:

“This guinness tastes terrible, could you change it?”
“How do I know it tastes terrible?”
“Taste it, it’s bloody awful”.
“I can’t drink guinness, I’m allergic to Nitrogen”….

That sounds like an absolutely terrible affliction, never encountered it again since, I couldn’t even see her hermetically sealed suit with constant oxygen supply.

do you get “pea wet” too ? as in getting a scoop of peas and wafting them over the chips so the liquid runs over, but not putting the peas on

what the actual f…….

Wetherby Whaler, in Wetherby

No shit, Sherlock 😉

Are you a wetherby local? There’s a chance i might have to spend some time there in the near future (2-3 days/wk, with a view possibly to a long term move), if i bring a bike would someone show a southerner round?

You weren’t out Weds night were you, group passed me as i was staggering back from the Mango indian.

My Dad moved to Halifax about 1990 ish, he went into a F&C shop and asked for a bag of chips, the lady behind the counter replied with, “sorry love, it’s chats night tonight”.
Turns out chats are fried bits of potato that aren’t chip shaped because they’re made from potatoes that are too small to ‘chip’!!

do you get “pea wet” too ?

You’re making this shit up, right?

Visit Wigan. It’s all true.[/url]

At a wedding a few years ago at The Shireburn in hurst Green, at the time I was a vegetarian and there were veggie meals available.
Young waitress brings chicken to me as my main course. ‘I’m a vegetatrian’ says I.
‘Yes I know, it’s chicken’ she replies. I repeated the fact I was vegetarian and she replied as though talking to a 4 year old, ‘Yesss, it’s chicken’

In France a couple of years ago. Waiter tells us it’s bbq day. Wife tells him she’s vegetarian.

“For you madame, we have ze salmon”

Mad Frenchies

pea wet is definitely a thing – get the big spoon, ladle some of the watery pea juice over the chips

I don’t like it but it’s quite well known in the NW

Wetherby Whaler, in Wetherby

No shit, Sherlock
[/quote]

It’s a (small) chain. There are other “Wetherby Whaler” fish ‘n’ chip shops. Not in Wetherby.

Old dragon at post office: – “you have to send it by Special delivery if you dont want it get lost.”
me:- ” what about 1st class signed for”
ODAPO- ” i once sent a package and it too 3 weekes to get there”
me:- “do you have any terms and conditions of the services you provide?”
ODAPO – “no I dont work for royal mail”
me-” I’ll take my chances please and have a proof of posting which you dont supply as default should I need to make a claim.”

Calmly find myself another post office to send future parcel to..

At a wedding a few years ago at The Shireburn in hurst Green, at the time I was a vegetarian and there were veggie meals available.
Young waitress brings chicken to me as my main course. ‘I’m a vegetatrian’ says I.
‘Yes I know, it’s chicken’ she replies. I repeated the fact I was vegetarian and she replied as though talking to a 4 year old, ‘Yesss, it’s chicken’

In France a couple of years ago. Waiter tells us it’s bbq day. Wife tells him she’s vegetarian.

“For you madame, we have ze salmon”

Mad Frenchies

My missus has a similar tale but the other way, some poor waitress at her work had to deal with a ‘special’ customer who refused to eat a dish containing a beef tomato because she was vegetarian.

Wetherby Whaler, in Wetherby

It’s the halt of choice for discerning A1 travellers.

another post office conversation
ODAPO – ” is the item worth more than £20?”
me- “I dont know to me no but to someone else possibly”
ODAPO – ” you cant send it with standard parcels, well you need special delivery”
me- ” Does it mean its more susceptible to theft? How does anyone know whats inside? Can I just claim £20 if it gets nicked?”
ODAPO – ” err ……..err …….no ”

Yes, it is. Babby’s Yed ‘n’ a mixture for me – a mixture being Chips,peas and gravy. And taking your own bowls to the chippy, give them to the fryer when you ordered your fish so he could stick them inthe top plate to warm up

Another one that my wife flatly refused to believe for years was the “fish bowt” as in “chips and a fish bowt please”.

Fish bowt = a very lightly battered fish, or a fish ’bout (without) batter.

I had a classic over the winter. My bike was at the station bike racks, D lock had frozen in the cold temp. I called into the posh coffee shop on the station concourse and asked if they’d give me a cup of boiling water (to splash on the lock to unfreeze it) I can’t due to health and safety. I asked if they’d sell me a cup of tea, but with no milk or sugar. No, I cant do that. FFS I thought. Final enquiry, would you p*$$ on me if I was on fire?