How to bring the fun back?

Try trailbuilding, get some enthusiasm for the trails you are building, and hopefully you’ll enjoy riding what you’ve created.

Trekster, we need to get out soon, I’ll be in touch.

OP and ESGF. Does sound similar to some of the symptoms of depression..

I’ve been told by a family member for years that I am depressed, but I didn’t think so. Then I saw this thread a few days ago and its stuck in my head since.

I could be the OP except that I’m 14 years younger and music is meh for me just like everything else. 😐

A few minutes ago I made a phone call to set up an appointment to see someone about it. Thanks for the nudge, OP.

Joe
I was there 2 years ago, so glad i saw my GP and got some help, highly recommended treatments have moved on in the last few years

Life gets depressing as you enter your middle age and women don’t have the monopoly on the menopause. At 58 “married life” is just a distant dream as I’m no longer needed for procreation and women seem to lose interest once that’s over and done with. I’m fit and slim and was recently told I’m attractive but I wouldn’t consider an affair, which is hurtful and stressful for all concerned so I’m toying with the idea of paying for the physical contact I so desperately crave. Already got a cash “piggy bank” going for the big event. Has anybody else resorted to this?

😕 I’d never pay for anything I could do myself in 5 minutes.

Try swinging – it’s cheaper. 🙂

Even stuff I enjoy, such as riding bikes, has lost its “fun”

Try something a bit different, something that challenges you more than just your normal ride. Like Binners did, try BMX, or do what I did and spend time practising skills rather than doing a ride. A couple of sessions practising tabletops, drop offs and cornering did wonders for my enjoyment of mountain biking.

When time, motivation and imagination are in short supply it’s very easy to pull the bike out of the shed and do the same ride you’ve done time and time before and then before you know it you’re bored of riding.

^This could be applied to any activity you do and even life itself. Make some changes. Do something different. What did you used to enjoy but stopped doing? Start doing it again. When we were young kids we were always trying new things and having new adventures. Don’t be afraid to live like that again.

“Getting older doesn’t stop you doing things, stopping doing things makes you older.”

I appreciate that my earlier reply was a tad frivolous.

I am at that age where traditionalists start talking about mid life crisis etc. To me, it feels as though it is that time of life where (as has been mentioned above) you become more acutely aware that time is passing by, your body is getting older and there are opportunities in life that you are close to being “beyond”. For me, it now becomes a case of sitting down and looking at the things that you really want to achieve, what you enjoy in life and deciding to make an effort to do something about it. It is all too easy to just flop on the sofa and switch on the tv. As others have said, try doing something different. Make an effort to go and do something at least once per week that is on your list of “likes” whether that be going to the cinema, or a pub that hosts live music or going out for a ride. Maybe a gym? Comedy? Maybe try a new sport. I took up hockey a few years ago as I was no longer playing football (and hadn’t done for a number of years) and adventure racing was a bit seasonal (spring and summer mostly). Plus I missed the experience of a team “event”. I found something I really enjoy and has also introduced me to a new circle of people. I also try to reduce or limit the things I really don’t like or that take too much of “my time”.

Check out ‘Flow Theory’ by Mihayi Czhicksentmihayi (sp), it’s useful stuff!

See your doc would be my recommendation as well, but beware of being fobbed off onto drugs too easily (often not the ideal solution and can cause many more issues).

Often is a seasonal thing too, Jan is a depressing month (cold, wet, xmas over, long pay month often etc).

Maybe try going to some gigs / jamming with mates / learn instrument but try and keep it social, friends are often the best cure.

All the best 🙂

Do you think theres a link between owning a CX bike and not having a woman?

Thats where I’d start looking. How can riding a road bike in the mud get the chicks?

sign up for something stupid.

I`ve signed up for a triathlon in september despite only having done one actual run about 15 years ago and no swimming fitness- it definatly improves motivation!

prior to this i`ve done the 3 peaks challenge and also the SDW in a day.

i need a target to get me going.

alternatively i go and build something stupid to ride on the bike. normally involving really steep and scary.

get out of that comfort zone.

(STW regular posting from an temporary account for obvious reasons).

Start of last year was when I really started to lose interest and enjoyment in everything.

Work, where I’d previously been “driven” and if anything lived for it – hated it.
Snowboarding- spent the holiday wanting to come home.
biking – hated it, sacked a loop of W2 mid-ride and drove 3 hours home in silence.
relationship- totally lost interest, became snappy and cold.

She realised there was something wrong before I did and tried raise it, you can imagine that went down well.

‘course, once you can’t be bothered to go for a ride, or go to the gym, or socialise, on a day off there’s really not much point getting out of bed….

Sounds corny but for me it was Robin Williams’ death that made me stop and think. I’d always been a fan of his, had loads of stand-up VHS tapes from back in the day etc, and the thought that someone so talented and loved could be in such a dark place opened my eyes.

I made an appointment with a GP and, amazingly, actually went along to it (neither I nor t’other half thought I would). Made myself be honest with him and describe how I’d been and depression was diagnosed. “Talking” therapies were offered, but given how much effort it took to go to the GP and my general persona that was never going to work.

So, I’m 6 months into pharmaceutical treatment. A completely different person (or the person I was more than a year ago). Loving riding and training and life, enjoying work and have just passed an interview for a different role (having failed 3 similar interviews last summer despite being manifestly the best-qualified candidate). Relationship probably better than it was before as it’s forced me to be more open and honest (and appreciative of someone sticking around when I’m being a ****).

See your doctor- things may get worse rather than better and you may end up in a place where you wont seek or accept help.

Could be worth checking your vit d level?

Fun, what’s that?

New missus? A missus would be good.

What have you got to lose?[/url]

Thank you temp for that. I’m still thinking about a way forward.

CG: Funnily enough, that had occurred to me today. As has testosterone levels.

mikey74 – my personal experience was that despite riding twice a week in daylight my vit D was actually deficient. I rarely use sun cream or moisturiser now. Your GP can test it as well as your testosterone. It’s obviously important to ensure that vitamin and mineral levels are optimal.

Every day you need 40 minutes of broad daylight on your head, and you can’t save it up.

Steelfreak – Member
You are just getting old… Happens to us all.

The realisation that more than half of life is over, the random aches & pains, the feeling of physical potential gradually ebbing away.

The shock of seeing some old dude staring back at you from the mirror… Frankly, it sucks big time. The only way to face it is never give up and keep seeking the company of worthwhile people.

I reckon this is exactly it – it’s just how it feels for me anyway. Winter with all its shite weather just makes everything one hundred times worse, trying to keep a big old house reasonably warm and dry just seems to drag me down too.

Worthwhile people who want to have anything to do with me seem to be in short supply too – probably because I’m such a miserable, grumpy old bastard.
At least I have a wife who still loves me….. 😉

Here’s why you feel terrible in your forties and fifites:

The effects of diminishing testosterone levels go way beyond just the sexual issues; ability to cope with stress is a big casualty as well as muscle strength and bulk, there’s an increased tendency to lay down fat, increased lethargy, depression and a whole lot of other changes are happening.

Andy: thanks for the input but I really don’t think that is it, for me at least: I am only 40 and healthy ( despite this effing cold) and this has been going on for a number of years.

If looked into Vit d deficiency and can’t find mention of depression being a symptom. It tends to result in physical problems, such as glucose intolerance.

http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/

There is counter evidence that suggests depression lessens with age, as the brain softens and negative memories start to disappear.

I would be very guarded about interpreting the testosterone data. Perhaps naively, I think that if you work at keeping reasonably fit, positive, doing things, joining and engaging with others then some of those downhill tendencies can be resisted and you can carry on (in certain aspects of your life) like a wild animal. I do. And that can make you very happy.

Incidentally, about the best book I’ve read so far (out of many) on wellbeing and CBT is the recently published ‘Happiness by Design’ by Jim Dolan (I think).

Perhaps naively, I think that if you work at keeping reasonably fit, positive, doing things, joining and engaging with others then some of those downhill tendencies can be resisted and you can carry on (in certain aspects of your life) like a wild animal. I do. And that can make you very happy.

You’ll still have less Testosterone, but maybe a better attitude. I notice my recovery is much slower mid 40s, lack of HGH and Testosterone….

Buy a fatbike – makes biking fun again – downhills are just an out of control scarefest and you have to work a little bit harder to keep up with your mates

Result = big grins and better fitness in no time at all 🙂

mikey74 – Member
Andy: thanks for the input but I really don’t think that is it, for me at least: I am only 40

[envy mode]Sigh!! – if only [/envy mode]

Actually, working on bikes (especially fettling nice Marzocchi forks and building wheels)goes a long way to improving my overall mood, as does trail building, although I’ve done precious little of that lately.
Riding too, of course, but I’m afraid that I’ve been spoilt by Mediterranean conditions and this swampfest we have here doesn’t quite do it for me.

FF check this
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/07/trans-life-male-hormones-testosterone-good-bad-ugly?CMP=fb_gu

Got a doctor appointment booked for tomorrow so we shall see.

So…. went to the doc today….

Wow!! She was the best looking doctor I’ve ever seen

Anyway, we discussed the various options and she ended up prescribing fluoxetine (2 weeks worth – sat next to me at the moment) and I made an appointment to go back in two weeks. However, having read up on this drug, I’m not too keen on taking it, partly due to the fact that it makes many worse before they get better, but mainly because of the long-term nature of it (you have to be taken off it slowly – 6 months I’ve read).

On the other hand, it was good to get some stuff off my chest, and I think I may take the option of CBT when I see her next. There are definitely things I need to change in my life so I may concentrate on identifying those and doing something about them (which we also discussed).

That’s a coincidence. I met the best looking Doctor I’d ever seen in A & E lastnight, lovely soft hands too.

He didn’t ask to see me again though, I reckon you’re in with yours 😀

(True story BTW) appologies if it didn’t raise a smile.

That’s a coincidence. I met the best looking Doctor I’d ever seen in A & E lastnight, lovely soft hands too.

He didn’t ask to see me again though, I reckon you’re in with yours

(True story BTW) appologies if it didn’t raise a smile.

Hahaha it definitely raised a smile. I felt a connection