Name : Ronald Braygan
CMR : 43/100
Likes : Swinging saloon doors, hard goat liquor, weeing in Randolph Scott’s boots
Dislikes: The word ‘sheesh’ and the phrases ‘via con dios’ and ‘mi casa zu casa’
Molgrips, can’t you just go guy hoovering – a swish here, a swish there, done, boy the missis is gonna be proud of me – and get to the serious business of the day?
Name: Don Wong IV aka ‘The Scourge of the Dusk Vole Ninjas’
CMR: 43/100
Likes: Cherry Blossom, Multi-purpose hats and pwning thieves with bombers works like a charm
Dislikes: over-sweet Saki, voles wearing handlebar moustaches
Name : Steve
CMR : 22
Likes : spending all day on STW, discussing tyres, trolling noobs, looking at bike porn, Python, Unix, Iphone, Ipad, I-whatever-comes next, buying new things for my bike, selling the last new things I bought and then comlaining about the guy who bought them, saying how I have 38 bikes but need another one, looking at my 2 actual bikes, imagining riding my bikes, colour coordinating my bikes, wood bruning stoves, £400 coffee machines, saying the thing you like about bikes is poor, finding someone who posted a thing that has already been posted – burn **** burn!
Dislikes : Mud, the wet, the heat, outdoors, trail centres, riding my bike.
😉 [obligatory I’m just kidding you, love you all really smiley, don’t burn me… 😀 ]
Name: zoltan the great mind warrior
CMR: “you will give me 100”
Likes: quantum mechanics, chaos theories, earrings, honey dipped monkey scrots
Dislikes: brian cox! that is all!
Name – Ianto the Infinity Dog
CMR – exponential calculus multiplied by unlimited woof woof-bow wow/100
Likes : 3 Stooges, 2 Ronnies, 1 mind-blowing psych trip into the unknown
Dislikes : H G Wells, Tranmere Rovers and getting whacked in the chops by Ianto’s majestic nutsack
Hehe, I do all the hoovering around here. Which is to say, not often. We’re paying someone £50 to come clean the carpets properly this evening, on account of them being really very shitty.
Name: Annette “Twinkletoes” Beige
CBR: 34/100
Likes: Throwing some mad shapes on the dance floor. And throwing TVs out of hotel windows.
Dislikes: Paul McCartney
Name: Ruthie ‘the Rug’ Rodriguez
CMR: 17.5/100
likes: charging good decent STW folk the bargain price of only £48.50 to tongue-clean their rugs, carpets and assorted middle-class upholstery, dawn or dusk
Dislikes: outsource carpet cleansing ‘specialists’ who bend good decent STW folk over, Ruthie’s motto being ‘ain’t no rug cleaning job worth more than £49.00, inc. VAT’
Name : Simon
CMR : -14
Likes : Hugs, contemplative solitude, the ripple of breeze across a wild meadow, butterflies, the smell of egyptian cotton sheets dried outside on a sunny day.
Dislikes : The blackouts, The voices, Waking up covered blood after loosing three days and with no idea where I am, just the slow dawning knowledge that it has happened again.
Name: Mrs I’ll show you my Tiggywinkle if you show me yours
CMR: 2.71828
Likes: Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain
Dislikes: Rupert Holmes, Immac
Name: Dances with Essex Girls
CMR: 32/100
Likes: The cocktail mixers at Trader Vic’s, quality tailoring and coiffure and Chinese food
Dislikes: The fact that they closed down Lee Ho ****’s. Although, that;s mainly nostalgia. The menu had been going downhill for years.
The whole thread should be preserved and put in one of those time-capsules for future lifeforms to peek at. They’ll then understand how we managed to extinct ourselves. Instead of hunting and gathering and general survival, we used mankind’s most advanced invention to produce stuff like this!