He said “Don’t you feel lonely living in your own little world?”

She whispered “Don’t you feel powerless living in other people’s worlds?”

F. G.

I find it interesting that a lot of the traits viewed as typical of autism are not, or that they’re a result of autistic traits in some while being far from universal.

For example I’m very reserved to the point that I often won’t engage in a conversation unless I’m addressed directly, and in a lot of contexts will give minimal answers that quickly end it. I’ve known other autistic people that will not shut up ever. I think both behaviours come from not knowing what is appropriate to say or when to say it, but taken to extremes in different directions.

Or another example, aweeshoe said how her difficulty reading and displaying emotion is often taken as being over friendly or even romantically interested. For me its the opposite, with people thinking I’m aloof or unfriendly when that’s not my intention at all.

I don’t know if there’s a point to this, it’s not surprising that people focus on observed behaviour, but similar traits can manifest themselves in very different behaviour.

@Kelron

What you describe is the inability to comprehend and adapt to social situtaions, either by talking too much because you want to give a specific answer(when the person asking may not want that much detail) or talking too little (the answer doesnt need to be long). The social correct way to answer would be to take into account the situation you are in.

People with autistic traits should to a certain extent train themselves to understand social conventiones, even if they seem nonsensical. I know I did this and live a much happier life.

I think I fall into the everyone else thinks I’m on the autistic spectrum but I know I’m not category if such a thing exists.

I did have a go at the test that Roper linked to, for a lot of the questions options true or untrue were just not appropriate answers for me. I think I’d have answered it depends to maybe half of them if that had been an option.

People with autistic traits should to a certain extent train themselves to understand social conventiones, even if they seem nonsensical. I know I did this and live a much happier life.

It also helps if you have someone who can point out when you have broken a social convention. I have changed a lot of the last 20 years as my wife points things out. Too much detail (I can go on and on about things that only I am interested in!), coming across as rude to people by being too direct, lack of eye contact etc,.

People with autistic traits should to a certain extent train themselves to understand social conventiones, even if they seem nonsensical. I know I did this and live a much happier life

<span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”>How do you teach a blind person to see? I have prosopagnosia (facial blindness) which means that I can’t read people’s emotions unless it’s obvious because they’re shouting or crying. </span>

Autistic people are generally quite accepting Of NT traits and make many allowances for their behaviour, yet they don’t reciprocate despite having the capacity to do so. This is where things like Autism Awareness fail, I think it’s only so that NT’s can make more money out of it there’s no way we’re anywhere near acceptance.

@Kelron I totally agree with you, I like loud music, busy places and socialising (although I don’t have any friends to socialise with) whereas it’s assumed that people with ASC don’t

This is an interesting read, we currently have our son being tested due to numerous symptoms..
He is nearly 4 and shows large development delays in both physical, mental and social aspects.

He gets fixated on single repetitive processes like soft close kitchen cupboard doors, fans spinning, automatic doors etc, he would literally stand there for hours watching them.
He also gets over excited about the same sort of repetitive motions like me doing an allen key bolt up. He hums and flapps his arms and runs on the spot at the motion..

Very risk averse, he will not attempt ANY kind of play environment involving steps, slides or anything like that. He will go crazy if you sit him on a 4 wheel scooter.

Socially it has become obvious that if playing with a toy and another child steals it, our lad will then just watch and get excited at watching the other kid play with the stolen toy. He rarely gets angry though which is a good thing.

Speech and communication is well delayed. Potty training? Not a chance.!

He is having genetic tests to try and find the cause, Autism / Aspergers has been mentioned but they feel he is too early to fully diagnose yet.

It is interesting to hear you guys talk about symptoms much later in life and they all seem to be emotional or communication based and I see some of our sons social symptoms being familiar.

Regarding the physical symptoms of Autism (hand flapping, humming, running on the spot when excited):
Do any of you remember having the same physical symptoms I mention above?
Did you grow out of them?
Did you get to a point where mentally you understood that flapping your arms at kitchen doors was no longer needed?
Or did you not have any of the these physical symptoms?
Do you still stand in B&Q watching kitchen cupboard doors open and close?

Although I didn’t have any perceived speech (he maybe processing all the information that’s coming at him all at once, there’s not only the words said but tone, volume, pace, meaning, alternative meaning, body language, intention, arrgh… And people want an answer now?) or physical develmental delays I do recognise a lot of other behaviours in myself. I still watch the washing machine 😂 and I still stim in my 40’s. They are a lot more subtle and socially acceptable, things like tapping the end of each finger with my thumb or an itch. I can even pass as normal, for short periods.

In my experience the physical symptoms are a result of the mental and emotional difficulties I’m having in processing a situation. They help to slow down the flood of information that I’m receiving and allow me to focus. This may also why he’s taking longer than expected to use the potty, I’m toilet trained but I often forget to eat as I get so involved in what I’m doing that I don’t recognise hunger.

Hunger can also feel like emotions such as anger, excitement or sadness, to me they all feel the same and it’s the conscious thought process that defines them. You’ve probably tried many things to encourage him to use the loo but I find that for me it’s helpful to have a routine, like when you get up, after breakfast, mid morning.

B&Q can be a whole day out! I had my own tool kit by the age of 7 and was an awesome female plumber 😂

medlow. It does sound like your son shares some characteristics ( they are not symptoms ) with people who are on the autistic spectrum. The flapping and stepping could very well be stimming. Stims are not just a stress thing and can also happen when excited. They can be controlled or hidden for short periods but will come out somewhere later. As an adult I do subtle things that most people don’t see. My son also sometimes hides his in public places, unfortunately too much in the past which has caused unnecessary stress. Have you noticed if your son has any heightened senses, such as smells, sounds or the feel of certain fabrics?
Special interests are also a characteristic, which can develop or change over time. I have known a child to be fascinated with flags, mainly because of they way they flap in the wind, another child with flashing lights (so you can imagine Christmas), also with hair, the way it moves as well as how it feels.
The ASD diagnostic process can take a long time, especially as it’s such an underfunded area atm.

Roper, he has the best hearing ever and will hear a lawnmower start up from 2 miles away.
He is fascinated with the sound of lawnmowers, fans, aircon whirring, that sort of thing. When heard it distracts him greatly.

He is obsessed with spinning fans, flashing lights and anything that is repetitive. Even me turning over roast potatoes from the oven had him excited and flapping…

Regarding fabrics, not really but when he was younger he would get a muslin cloth and stick it under his belly and roll around on it for ages and ages, and get into a right hot sweaty mess. He grew out of that habit after us constantly diverting his attention and taking the cloth away..

I thought this was a very helpful explanation of what “The spectrum” means and why Autism presents so differently for different people

https://theaspergian.com/2019/05/04/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/

medlow, I would recommend reading about autism if you are not already. Be a little cautious of some North American info as there are certain areas which are trying to “cure” autism. It can be a worry as a parent, as are most things, but I have found things to be much better for my son than they were for me when I was his age. If you have more specific autism questions I am happy to pass what info I have by pm should you need it.