- How many of you are autistic?
Certainly some of it jambo – and it risks trivialising what autism is.
Perhaps it would be better ( more precise, fairer?) to say ” I appear to have some ASD traits?
The difficult ones for me are on occasion misreading social cues really badly and accepting everything anyone says at face value. Add that to a complete inability to tell people what they want to hear because I have no idea what they want to hear and I have made a real mess of social situations. the other stuff like counting every repetitive action, seeing patterns in everything and being obsessive about detail / planning are merely quirks that don’t have any negative effect on my life.Posted 5 months ago
Some links in here
I can’t remember what I read or where. My twenties was a kind of messed up time for me. I simply remember becoming aware in late twenties that it was a thing to have a number of tendencies that might indicate you sit slightly along the way of a range from normal to autistic, and that the more I read of it the more I identified with a number of them in some way.
I didn’t and still don’t think an official diagnosis will bring any benefit for me personally – the biggest thing is finding out how your view and experience of the world might be slightly different to other 90% of the population, vs gaining a label. Nice though it might be to have a label to go from. It is also possible I might receive an official diagnosis of ‘normal’. I don’t much care at this point. I know that taking note of tendencies and differences and allowing for them works for me and seems to be the big thing that others have highlighted too.Posted 5 months agotarka_the_rotterMember
I’m not sure how current the autism-spectrum quotient test is, but I’ve done it a couple of times and scored really quite low – 6 out of a possible 50 (men are typically 17, women 15 in control groups). I’m not that surprised at my score, but I work (accidentally) in engineering (I wanted to be a nurse – long story) and LOTS of my colleagues display typical traits – they’re really nice people, and often super-bright; but struggle interacting with people they’re trying to help – they might understand the problem or fault in huge detail, but just can’t see the problem from a user’s perspective. However, we work well together as a team – in my experience you need that mix; I tend to work as a buffer, I’m not great at deeper analysis of a problem, but I do know everyone’s kid’s names and I can tell if they’ve had their hair done… but if you need an emerging pattern noticing – I’m lost. I should probably do something else 🙁Posted 5 months agokerleyMember
I know that taking note of tendencies and differences and allowing for them works for me and seems to be the big thing that others have highlighted too.
Something that is only likely to be done when in twenties or beyond. Not much self reflecting done by 10 year olds which is where it would be good to know (for child and parents) especially for milder cases where the difficulties can be partly overcome.Posted 5 months agonickcSubscriber
Nope, as far on one end of the spectrum as some of you are on t’other.
I love chitty chat on the bus/train with random people, I’m v touchy feely, don’t care about details over much (they don’t matter to me as much as the outcome). I’m tidy but not obsessive about anything really, not socially anxious, don’t count random things.
You’re all weird, by the way 😁Posted 5 months ago
Something that is only likely to be done when in twenties or beyond. Not much self reflecting done by 10 year olds which is where it would be good to know (for child and parents) especially for milder cases where the difficulties can be partly overcome
Absolutely that. Our eldest is dipping in the spectrum as well I think. But at least we can recognise and support. I think he will do ok.Posted 5 months agosteve_b77Member
My wife is convinced I’m on the spectrum somewhere and keeps threatening to book me an appointment to get tested.
Quite a lot of the things mentioned above ring true, my communication with others (especially at work) who don’t walk on the same path can be a little fraught and from my point of view, and is rather binary to say the least, which causes all sorts of issues with people who “feel” things instead of think them and fluffy up non-facts, and to be honest I don’t really care what they think nor do I really change my approach to them. Outside of work I actually try and make an effort, as that has more impact on my life.
I don’t exactly display a lot of emotions, nor do they tend to effect me too much – for example my Sister stopped talking to us about 3 years ago, to be honest it doesn’t bother me, nor am I interested in finding out why. My mum & dad did the same, but they came round in the end, my wife spent some time asking me to find out why, but again I couldn’t be bothered as they were more amiable once they made contact again. There’s no doubt a link there, but with regards to my sister, she went a bit townie and I couldn’t be arsed with her anymore.
I have the tendency to blurt out stupid things, prime example being the other night the eldest sons first tooth came out, so I said (with him thankfully only just out of earshot) best check my wallet for some money to put under his pillow, much to the dismay of my wife.
I don’t have a lot of friends.
I do have the ability to be seriously single minded and not really think about the impact my actions have on others, I’m also seriously content in my own company and can switch my brain off for hours on end – could well contribute to why I rather like riding solo and am quite adept at 24 hour racing.
I’ve done those personality tests, Jun (?)profiling and Myers & Briggs as part of developmental courses at work and come out right at the end of the extreme Judgemental, Introverted, Techy type person – bang on the FBI’s serial killer profile apprently!!!
Oh yeah, I can’t stand this kind of shit either 🙂
Posted 5 months ago
I love chitty chat on the bus/train with random people, I’m v touchy feely, don’t care about details over much (they don’t matter to me as much as the outcome)
Currently going through the assessment process with my boy (5) at present. We’re pretty sure he has sensory issues, if not full blown SPD itself. Yr1 at school has been challenging to say the least. thankfully we have a head teacher who is superbly engaged and he now has a class teacher who understands that shouting loudly at him has a really bad effect.
The more I read and learn about it the more parallels I see in my own character.Posted 5 months ago
From Mrmonksfinger linkPosted 5 months ago
“limit and impair everyday functioning”. which would exclude people like me and a few of the others on here in large part unless you see failing as a boss ( cos of my quirks / inabilities) and pissing off people as falling into that.
So from that folk like me and there seem to be a few on here, might be best said to “have some ASD traits”sirromjSubscriber
I was curious a while back if I was on the autistic spectrum which might explain my difficulty and failures socializing and there were a few traits I identified with, but they were from the light & fluffy normal end of the spectrum, and looking further toward disabling autistic traits there wasn’t anything I couldn’t identify with at all.
Have lost touch with my friends over the years, and haven’t made any new friends. I meet people, I ride with them, I work with them, visit family, nothing more than that.Posted 5 months agoesselgruntfuttockMember
Being a driver of a minibus full of children with special needs has opened my eyes to autism, that’s for sure!Posted 5 months ago
13 on the bus this morning aged from 6-16 & it only takes one to wind all of them up. (which one of them in particular usually does, & he’s 9)
Very hard work when you get a ‘severe’ case. (apologies if that’s the wrong term)
Thanks for being so open and honest, we’ve definitely got oversharing in common 😀. Whether you’re diagnosed or not, I think the defining element is the struggle to understand social interaction and adverse reaction to change and stimuli. This thread shows that autistic people do have empathy and want to socialise, we’re just shit at it.Posted 5 months ago
My lightbulb moment came when I was told that I had scored 47 in the AQ test, I argued that I couldn’t possibly be because I’m chatty, disorganised and shocking at maths. I had been expecting to be told that I was just a bit mentally disturbed and to take a pill, instead I was given a few leaflets. It was a relief at first, I felt freed of certain expectations and stopped masking and supressing so much, I naïvely thought it was a get out of jail card for not realising when to shut up or that I’d misunderstood. I’ve never been good at maintaining friendships and as I’ve gotten older it’s become harder, as it does for everyone, but I do think that it is compounded for people on the spectrum as people become less tolerant and more suspicious of our behaviours; especially women.
As others have said before, I also tend to have quite binary views and expectations and blurt out stupid things (some prefer crazy bitch). This weeks’ faux pas was, instead of saying “If I was male you would treat me differently” as rehearsed, to my boss it came out as “If I had a dick you would listen” 😳. It went down well with my male colleagues but I was pulled into another pre-disciplinary, I now have my own office. Result 😏stevenmenmuirMember
My other half thinks I’m autistic to some degree. I just think I’m an arse. Our major sticking point is social situations. She loves them, I hate them. In the past she has gotten really annoyed with me for not making more of an effort but she understands a bit more now. When I brought this up on here a few years back I was generally told to get a few drinks inside me or learn to deal with it, so it feels a bit like we’ve moved on a bit. There are other traits I have that have already been mentioned and I’m not going to repeat them, I’ve always just thought of them as character traits or even just being British. When I phone my parents if my dad answers we talk about the weather for 30 seconds, then he hands me over to my mum, is that British or a sign of being on a spectrum?Posted 5 months agochakapingSubscriber
I don’t know if I am. Probably wouldn’t get diagnosed but my daughter has been and also has ADHD. Like many others here, I recognise some of myself in her traits – but things are much, much harder for her.
It’s just lucky that there’s so much more awareness and some mechanisms in place to help now, however things are still a long way from perfect.
Just to be contrary (surprise surprise), I’m less concerned about “normal” kids being wrongly diagnosed with autism (highly unlikely) and more concerned about the parents resisting diagnosis of their children because of the stigma or their own unwillingness to accept it.
One lad at my daughter’s school is obviously a prime candidate but his mum, a teacher herself, is not keen on pursuing a diagnosis. My opinion is that this is a bit selfish, as he’s likely to have a harder time understanding his own points of difference from the rest of the kids.
What do others think?Posted 5 months ago
I get why a parent might want to do that. We were in the doctors yesterday reviewing our evidence pool. He basically said that this will take time to investigate because of the impact both immediately on his education and on the rest of his life.
E is, we think, borderline and so long as we get good support from the school I believe we’ll be ok in a regular school. In the present underfunded and no doubt soon to be outsourced world of SEN provision, I think I’d rather move country, or go down the home schooling route than have him move out of mainstream.Posted 5 months ago
@chakaping My mum works in psychiatry and still doesn’t agree with my diagnosis, she prefers idiot. By not seeking a diagnosis she’s denying him the support he will need to navigate through life and isn’t recognising the difficulties he may have. Autism isn’t just a label for a collection of cool behaviours, it’s a real disability that causes a lot of distress to the autistic individual and those around them.Posted 5 months ago
I think people often forget that autistic children grow into autistic adults, for the majority of us our life outcomes aren’t that great with high unemployment and short life expectancy. Whilst it’s becoming more widely recognised and support is more accessible for parents, there’s very little resources for autistic adults.iancity1Member
Read the thread and thought, hmm, I can definitely identify with some of this stuff. Searched for an online test and scored “Your score was 33 out of a possible 50.
Scores in the 33-50 range indicate significant Austistic traits (Autism).”
Gobsmacked initially, but when I think about how I think about things, not too surprised.
Need to properly look into this a bit further once other personal issues have settled (poorly daughter thread if anyone interested!).Posted 5 months agoTiRedMember
Did the test, scored a lot. I answered honestly but knew how the scoring would work. I could have maxed it out with more pernicious choice. 42, and 8/10. What do I win? I know what autism looks like, and it is serious and debilitating in many cases. Maybe noise and detail are weighted highly.
EDIT: It’s got a very low specificity – so it misses lots of positives https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27353452Posted 5 months agoMarkBrewerMember
some days work better than others, but since being in a marriage and living with two people permanently my traits and shutdowns have really shown. Or rather it’s really shown what mechanisms I had in place before to manage myself
That’s pretty much what I found, I didn’t move in with my girlfriend for years because I found I needed somewhere to be able to retreat to. Sometimes dealing with people at work all day is so mentally draining by the time I get home all I want to do is spend time by myself which causes problems.
To all those who have “read about it, and had light bulb moments”, what have you read? It’s a genuine question, I’d like to read up myself
I can’t remember what channel it was on but I think it was a program called the Autistic gardener which first brought it to my attention.Posted 5 months ago
I can deal with living with kids, they seem to be more intuitive and empathetic than adults, but I still need time at the beginning and end of a day to process things in peace.Posted 5 months ago
One thing I’ve learned is that I can’t cope with friendships never mind a relationship, as I have social emotional agnosia. I rely on what people say and take it literally, missing the facial expressions and body language which may suggest otherwise.
It’s led to a few laughs but comes at the expense of friends and leaves me open to abusechakapingSubscriber
@chakaping My mum works in psychiatry and still doesn’t agree with my diagnosis, she prefers idiot. By not seeking a diagnosis she’s denying him the support he will need to navigate through life and isn’t recognising the difficulties he may have. Autism isn’t just a label for a collection of cool behaviours, it’s a real disability that causes a lot of distress to the autistic individual and those around them.
I’m of the same opinion and I strongly hope and believe that knowing about her diagnosis will help our girl come to terms with it.
I believe the parents I mentioned have gained some alternative diganosis (can’t remember what), which I’m informed doctors often offer parents who are in denial.
Strikes me as wrong, but that may be my own tendencies coming into play!Posted 5 months agohighlandmanMember
I had a similar sort of light-bulb moment to some other folk on here. In my case, it came at a 24hour event where I was duty medic. This particular weekend, I was working with a newly recruited doctor and after the best part of those hours had passed, out of the blue she simply said, ‘How long have you known that you are autistic..?’ It seems that I was probably the last to know in my circle. A pal who works with disadvantaged large kids pretty much used that phrase when I mentioned it to him. Going on to get a diagnosis was helpful in that it has put so much of my odd behaviour into context and has helped my partner understand better when I cannot get certain social interactions quite right.Posted 5 months ago
Thanks for all your replies to my question. The reason I asked is because I’d not found the answers or results I’d been expecting when I was diagnosed and someone suggested that I should find “groups for autistic people”, not noticing the irony or having watched Undateables 😂. So I thought I’d ask on a mtb forum to get real honest and open answers.Posted 5 months ago
@UrbanHiker Most sites you will find are written by parents or learning professionals, there are a lot of misunderstandings and myths surrounding autism, especially from anti-vaxxers which have filtered into the mainstream. I’m not a fan of Autism Speaks or Simon Baron-Cohen, they are both looking for evidence to satisfy their sponsors and neither is progressing our understanding of autism. I’d suggest reading the DSM, academic papers, first hand accounts and the replies you see here, I’m happy to answer any questions.
I see my traits and difficulties in what @tjagain @Kerley @mrmonkfinger and @Senor j (Saga Noren’s chat up line works 100% 🤣) said, although some may manifest differently. Autism isn’t just a collection of traits, it’s a systematic way of thinking like @tjagain said “The other stuff like counting every repetitive action, seeing patterns in everything and being obsessive about detail.” This way of thinking doesn’t only apply to practical organisation, it can also apply to understanding peoples behaviour. Not all autistic people have agnosia but those who do often can’t process what’s going on in real time despite reacting to it, like not noticing someone is getting angry, which is what often gets us in trouble.
I do hope that the contributors to the thread have the strategies and support they require and thanks for sharing your experiences 😀
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