How does the materialistic content of your kids life compare to yours when young

I’m now 39 and my daughter’s 10.

She has amongst other things:

XBox
Wii
iPod Touch
DSi
26″ Samsung LCD tv
Touch screen phone
Sky to watch in pretty much any room
Spesh Hotrock MTB
Her own games room to use for her mates

In comparison, I had:

A black and white 12″ portable with 3/4 channels
A second hand Raleigh racing bike costing £25
Some Lego
Mates occassionally allowed in the house, but not downstairs
Had to use the phone box 500yds up the road if I wanted to ring anyone – this applied to about 18yrs old.

Try bloody well explaining it to her to gain a bit of gratitude and you may as well speak to the frikkin wall.

You bought them.

Sounds like your daughter is spoilt rotten.

My boys have roughly the same as I did when I was their age. They do not have and will never have their own tv so no use for multiple games consoles.

You bought them.

Here, is wisdom.

BMX
Lego
Airfix
Many books.
Some stuff wot I found (fossils, etc).

The local woods (n.b. I didn’t actually own these).

I was pretty happy aged 10.

Yeah, do spoil her a little (only child).

She does have a work ethic that we try and instill – chores for pocket money etc.

The good stuff only comes at Christmas/Birthdays BTW

Elfinsafety – Member

You bought them.

Here, is wisdom.

Stating the obvious is wisdom?

I never stated I didn’t want her to have them.

We buy them very little for birthdays or christmas, but buy them more throughout the year as and when we think they need it.

we had the farm next door, the stream at the bottom of the garden and all the fields and woods in between. We had some lego, books a few toy cars etc, but never got any branded presents from the folks.

My first bike was a unisex “shopper”. I did get a dawes racer when I was 14. Our first spectrum was a present but after that my brother and I had to save pocket money and present money to buy an Amstrad 464 and our first 286 PC.

Jr has various puzzles and toy cars. The only branded stuff is thomas the tank engine bits and pieces. He’s only four. Im sure as he grows up he’ll get spoilt with more branded stuff….

Pretty similar tbh

Growing up we had a TV and then a computer from about age 10(Amiga), video not until I was 14ish.
Various bikes throughout the years, a couple new, most second hand
Shared a room
Personal Tape Recorder/Walkman, stereo as a teenager

My daughter has

No TV, but we have family laptop and 22inch monitor for DVDs
Use of a computer but not her own
Various bikes throughout the years, some new, some second hand
Own room
MP3 player

Every parents’ dilema. Deciding what children should have and what they could have.

My daughter has pretty much the same but I will never have a television in any other room than the living room.

EDIT: and the fact she takes them all for granted is undoubtedly your fault. Lack of guidance? And a “She wants, therefore she gets” attitude?

My kids have loads more stuff than I ever had, and yes it was bought by me. I like to think my parents bought me what they could afford, and thats what I do for mine. We just have more disposable income now.

Stating the obvious is wisdom?

No, you seem to have missed the point somewhat.

You bought the items, you pandered to your child’s demands for stuff/gave her stuff you thought she’d enjoy, then you complain that she displays little sense of value of things, and a lack of gratitude.

If people are used to having stuff supplied for them, then they will simply take it for granted, and not even be aware they they ought to be ‘grateful’.

You express exasperation at your daughter’s attitude, yet don’t seem to see that it’s you that’s probably the cause.

I have never and would never have a tv in any other room than the living room, bedrooms are for sleeping not kids being anti-social. Had a family computer, never owned any games consoles saved for 18months to buy my Kona (which I still have 17yra on) as for kids at 8 having mobile phones….flipping heck!!

My parents were bloody miserly – at the time I was happy with my Lego, Famous 5 books and rugged countryside to play in. However, being idle dole stealers, they seemed to do ok for themselves, yet my reward for being a child seemed to be that if I wanted owt, I had to buy it myself.

Mebbe I over-compensate with my daughter.

Just to compound the statements about my parents – being a bit older, when I was around 21 I had a whisky bottle full of coppers, silver and pound coins – my mother stole about £100’s worth of pound coins, because apparently she was skint and needed it more than me.

For my 21st birthday, I wanted nothing more than a couple of part worn tyres for my car – she still owes me the money, thus I got nothing for my 21st. I refer to ‘she’ as that’s my mother. I never expected, nor received anything whatsoever from my step-dad.

You don’t want them to be grateful when there 10, save it till there 40!

No, you seem to have missed the point somewhat.

You bought the items, you pandered to your child’s demands for stuff/gave her stuff you thought she’d enjoy, then you complain that she displays little sense of value of things, and a lack of gratitude.

If people are used to having stuff supplied for them, then they will simply take it for granted, and not even be aware they they ought to be ‘grateful’.

You express exasperation at your daughter’s attitude, yet don’t seem to see that it’s you that’s probably the cause.

It was merely a comment about the appreciation of kids these days (and not knowing how lucky they are compared to 20 years ago) Elfin, not yet another open ended opportunity for you to try and analyse/rip to pieces someone else’s way of life, of which you repeatedly know little about, yet seem perfectly qualified to judge.

My daughter, 10 this week, has

– TV in her room, but not hooked up to aerial so Wii and DVD’s only, and only really used when she has friends round.
– Nintendo Wii, which is everyone’s, but recently put in her room as only she and her friends use it.
– Nintendo DSi, half the money from us for Christmas, half out of her savings, and on condition that she gave her 2yr old DS to her little brother.
– bicycle
– iPod (Grandmas old one).

Nothing else out of the ‘big’ ones. She’s not getting a mobile until she goes to secondary school. She was told no to a laptop and a computer in her room.

Boy, 4 next month, balance bike and second hand DS, plus a moderate amount of the usual small boy tat

Baby, baby stuff.

Think that’s about ok.

9 year old has access to much more than I ever had, but seems happiest running up and down the street playing sword fights with his mates, using sticks.

Calm down dear.

It was merely a comment about the appreciation of kids these days

No, it was a comment based on an observation of your own child, who by your own admission is over-indulged. Yet when someone points out that it might in fact be you that has (unwittingly) created the ‘problem’, you become all defensive. If you don’t want people to comment openly, the why invite it by starting a thread? I’m only expressing my opinion, after all.

I know plenty of kids who aren’t given tons of stuff, and ones who are. Guess which ones are the most spoilt, unappreciative and poorly behaved? Ironically, it’s the more affluent parents I notice who don’t overindulge heir kids, whilst some of those from poorer backgrounds vow to give their kids as much as they can, almost as some form of compensation for their own deprivation.

Mebbe I over-compensate with my daughter.

Well there you go. I’m not having a go at you for that, in fact I can relate to it. But as long as you understand where your motivation to give your daughter as much as possible is coming from. Maybe in future cut down on the amount of stuff she gets, or tell her other stuff needs to be sold/given away in order to get new stuff.

If you don’t have much, you tend to value what little you do have.

Artist

I’m guessing you are over-compensating due to the crap upbringing you had, nothing wrong with that.

While my sons have lots of stuff/electrics etc, they don’t particularly have more than I did at their ages (except the stuff that wasn’t invented).

And one thing my youngest son doesn’t have is a TV in his room – and that is based on my experience of having one.

My youngest son now 14 has a PC, but no games machines.
two guitars and amps, he worked as a gardener part time for a year to buy one of each.
One bike, very good but all hand me downs.

Me single parent family in the sixties no TV or phone in the house.
One toy a year at Christmas.
Always had a bike though.

It goes way beyond appreciation of materialistic possessions though Elfin

Guess which ones are the most spoilt, unappreciative and poorly behaved?

Here you make a generalisation that over-indulged kids are generally spoilt, unappreciative and poorly behaved.

As it happens, our child isn’t spoilt in the sense that she behaves in the way of a ‘spoilt brat’, she is the best behaved 10yr old I’ve encountered, but back to my OP, doesn’t quite understand the measure of the worldly goods she possesses. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things as the things she really appreciates, such as love for her family are unquestionable.

Is the point of this thread to gloat in your own social mobility?

I like to think we’re pretty good with my lad but he certainly has more than I did as a kid.

There’s a family computer and an xbox (which is mine) and he’ll use them (although when and how much time he gets on there is an ongoing battle).

Esxpensive things that are his… He has a touch screen phone which we bought him this christmas, a little notebook, a road bike and an ipod. Although to be fair he bought the notebook himself out of money he’d saved up.

I remember spending days just damming up streams, walking around with frogspawn in my wellies, riding my bike and flying kites. But you tell kids that today and they won’t believe you.

My apologies for missing your point.

What was it?

Here you make a generalisation that over-indulged kids are generally spoilt, unappreciative and poorly behaved.

Nope. I’m commenting on what I’ve observed. The ones that are indulged more, are generally more spoilt and less well-behaved. In my personal experience.

Is the point of this thread to gloat in your own social mobility?

Shh. It’s still the holidays. Leave the heavy socio-political analysis stuff until next week…

My kids have far more than I had as a kid but then again, I have far more now than my parents had to amuse themselves.

I’m hardly going to deprive my kids to prove a point when I’m surrounded by the fruits of rampant consumerism myself.

I don’t even bother mentioning the tin tub and outside bog.

My point was generally about kids not knowing how lucky there are with what’s available in comparison to 20-30 years ago.

I should have known better than put the last sentence on here without expecting the judgemental posse to come out in force, so mebbe my bad for not explaining my point properly and opening the thread up for abuse.

I don’t expect her to bow down in front of us and be eternally grateful, it’s more of a case of when it’s pointed out to her, it’s an uphill battle to explain how lucky she is in comparison to our youth and for that, many kids today including some of her mates.

djglover – Member
Is the point of this thread to gloat in your own social mobility?

Not sure if I’m too thick to understand your question, or if your question is too contrived to be understood.

We lived opposite a farm, so long hours were spent playing in the barn and fields, horse riding and mucking about in the woods.

Clothes were bought in the winter from the catalogue – maybe a few jumpers, a skirt and pair of trousers. Summer catalogue, a couple of tops, shorts the rest of the time we were in jeans and our school uniforms.

All phone calls were to be 3 minutes or less and only once or twice a week.

Presents only at Christmas and birthdays.
One telly in the lounge (same today).
I even bought my own pony.

Nephew is only 7 so doesn’t have any mobile or telly yet, only a wii and psp. Dreading the day when he ‘wants’ more.
Also he seems to get presents all year round, bikes, scooters, plenty of clothes. trips out and treats from his mother. So when he stays with us I don’t spoil him at all and he seems to respect us for that.

I am always shocked at how spoilt the children of my friends are (mainly the older ones aged over 8).

How does one define spoilt?

Is it in respect of money spent and possessions gained, or is it the attitude, behaviour and general demeanour of kids that one deems to be ‘spoilt’?

I remember when all this was fields.

spoilt…. grown ups giving children stuff, rather than time and attention.

http://www.commercialexploitation.org/

Check this website. The CCFC is run by people at Harvard, Boston and elsewhere and they come up with some interesting ideas and campaigns as well as research.

For me the definition of spoilt is the child is constantly given things that aren’t appreciated (which doesn’t seem to be the case for your daughter TAFKAASTR).
A spoilt child often doesn’t realise the value of the things bought for them and in many cases just expects more, not even giving a thankyou in cases.

Bunnyhop… A spoilt child often doesn’t realise the value of the things bought for them and in many cases just expects more, not even giving a thankyou in cases. That reads like its the childs fault.

I’m guessing Santa never visited RudeBoys house

My point was generally about kids not knowing how lucky there are

You seem to be suggesting that the things she has are positive, therefore something to feel ‘lucky’ about owning? They’re just ‘things’. They have no life enhancing value in themselves.

Is it too early in the thread to post this?