Two dogs.
Lubo, rescue dog, collie/lab/pointer cross of some sort. Fly bastard. Have spent hundreds of pounds on increasingly high/solid fences in the back garden trying to keep him in as he figures out ways to get over/under/ straight through them all. Have had to put snib on kitchen door overnight to keep him out of living room, since he had figured out how to open it in the middle of the night when it was merely closed, in order to get up on the couch, sleep on it and pee all over it to claim it for himself. Gets up on kitchen worktop and eats any food left unattended on it. Announces that it’s time to go for a walk by finding your shoes and dropping them in your lap. Outrageous flirt with other dog owners when out on walks – on the off-chance that they might have a treat in their pocket. Never bothers with any other type of person. Can perform all manner of tricks but will only do so as a transaction. I do trick, you give me food. Has trained me and the missus to walk a respectful few yards behind him cleaning up his mess. Damn, he’s good. Has an irrational phobia of bin-bags though.
Norrie. Scottish Terrier. Cute and low-maintenance but thick as two short planks. Cocks his leg to take a dump. Can lip read the words, “shall we go for a walk?” but that’s about it.
