Help! Quick! IKEA…

…is it as bad as they say it is? The missus wants to go and, in a moment of weakness, I said yes…

It's worse.

<sobs>

going today? a summer Sunday? you won't be there before lunchtime? madness.

8am on a weekday or nothing.

<more sobs>

One of the most miserable and lonely moments of my life.

Its huge, you get "forced" all the way round the huge stores unless you find the shortcuts. Theres so much tat among the halfway decent stuff, and it can be real "chav city" if you'r going to the Croydon one.

It's hell. Frankly.

hahs unlucky fella resist the flat pack and meat balls 😉

There will be a wailing and gnashing of teeth in the Nottingham area today…

if there is a trick, it's to start at the end: get your hot dog and chips first. then go the clearance corner (by the checkouts) first to see whether you can get what you want already built as a discounted return. then do your shopping. then pop back into clearance corner to see whether it's turned up through the day. then leave.

don't buy any bleeding tealights!

The Nottingham one isn't as bad as some of the others, having been dragged round a few, and they often have some good finds in the bargain area next to the tills.

I'd get a wriggle on through as otherwise you'll be stuck in the queue trying to get in!

Either that, or go later… whatever you do, don't try and get there for about 1pm!

once you know your way around, and if you know what you actually want, you can be in, browse, have the meatballs, browse, checkout in close to an hour…

But if your wife has not decided what she wants yet, be scared… 👿

depends if you are going to actually get something, or just have a look around…

Uh… we're 'browsing'.

Right, better get us in the car and off, muchas gracias muchachos!

Its badder than a bad thing

I'd take laptop & mobile phone to use as modem and tell her you'll see her at cafe.

Thats what I did.

Factor in the cost of delivery on you purchases, as anything slghtly tall (wardrobes/book-cd cases) are too big to fit into you car (well my focus estate anyways) so you end up paying for the joy of them delivering it…

going in thru the exit works best
but on a wet sunday when everyone is doing their shopping ahead of world cup lockdown i'd take a crowbar and a wee bottle

The Edinburgh one doesn't have mobile reception in places, so no way of passing the time. Nothing saps the will to live more than browsing for scatter cushions…

Uh… we're 'browsing'.

HAHA HA HAHAHA hahaahahaahahahaahahaahahahaha

Even if you like something you'll still be back next week! 😈

You'll be more than upset when you get to the til & they add up all those little "nick nacks" that you don't really need but your missus said look nice, and they cost five times what you hoped to get away with spending!

I find the best way is to take a stack of bike mags and sit in the cafe and fill up on coffee while the ardent shoppers do their stuff.

If you do go round and your coffee laden bladder creates an urgency, there's toilets in lots of the displays – but best to take your own toilet paper because they don't have any.

ikea!!!! on a sunday!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
abandon all hope all ye who enter here!!!!!

it'll be fine.

yay, another one down !

anyone else never been ?

… there can be only one …

NOOOOOOOOOO – DO NOT GO ON A SUNDAY!!!!!

easy for me one just 5mins walk, the wonders of leaving in a town 😕

Ikea, there's a reason it's a 4-letter word.

I can see HeathenWoods now: that gormless bored look on his face as he leans on a trolley, wishing his wife would get a move on, and hoping she doesn't notice him paying more attention to the milfs around him than the oh-so-cheap pillowcase on offer this week…

if i ever have to go i go late at night just before they shut. usually the only person in there. i do however avoid this at all costs. its a hatefull shop.

I went last sunday morning (it fitted in with visting folk in Nottingham in the afternoon). I'm not the best at being taken round the shops at the best of times, but apart from the carpark being really busy, it didn't feel too bad in there and the self service checkout meant we were only in there for 2 hours including some lunch and plenty of browsing for nic nacs. I'm not saying I want to go back any time soon, but I'm not haunted by the memory of it!

I once made the mistake of going to the Warrington one at half-term – not having any kids, this vital fact had totally escaped my attention.

As far as I could tell, entire families, from grandparents to grandchildren, had obviously decided to spend the day just *browsing*, presumably 'cos it was cheaper than going to Alton Towers or wherever.

Absolute Hell on Earth… 👿

I feel your pain man! IKEA turns you into a little automaton with their compulsory conveyor belt route where you must go through soft furnishings and end up at the swedish supermarket!

oh man, that was… something. Daughter puked hotdogs over the back of the car on the way home. Viet vets might claim the 1000 yard stare but I got the 1000 cushion cover stare…

Even if you like something you'll still be back next week!

<sob> it's true, it's all true! <sob>

The tv unit is on sale on frigging Wednesdays!!!!

Daughter puked hotdogs over the back of the car on the way home

highlight of the day?

Use the loo by the front entrance as soon as you arrive…cos you'll not be able to get back to it in a hurry.
DO NOT buy…tealights, cheap plates, glasses, kitchen untensils that look cheap but will never be used…

Been there, done that…got a kitchen full of tealights, cheap plates, glasses, kitchen utensils that looked cheap but have never been used…

8)

highlight of the day?

Lol. Nearly. That would have been when i asked my missus if she could smarten up the front seats whilst she was cleaning up the back ones 😀

i get lost in those places… you seem to be herded around like sheep following on like wandering lost souls…. its depressing…..unless you know exactly want you want and stick with that otherwise you,ll be wandering around for hours just looking and then eventually you will be herded out and thangod for outside air wen you do get out…but even the car park is depressing…why is it all in darkness ? then wen you take the trolly back there are those wierd little metal humps in the way which means you have another quater mile detour to get the trolly back….. then its another quest to find your car agin in total darkness…N0 I WONT GO AGIN…

Carry a large white umbrella and wear a distinguished tour guide hat – Loudly announce each 'exhibit' your SO visits and stop other museum patron from photographing the 'installations' – as "post cards are available in the museum shop"

– normally speeds up my visits.

I call it the shop from hell for a good reason, I too hate going there and tend to be one of the take a magazine and get coffee types!

But a couple of years ago I organised going out for a boxing day bike ride, but the missus kicked up a huge stink and in the end I had to call it off and drive 70 miles upto Wednesbury to IKEA. Guess what?

IKEA does not open on BOXING day! So we did a 140 mile round trip, I missed a great bike ride at Woburn, all for the fact that my missus was having a paddy and hadn't even bothered to check if the **** place was open!

Now I will only go there if I want to buy something, otherwise she can sod off and go on her own! 😉

I quite like it, but then I don't go when it's going to be rammed with people (obviously). The conveyor belt thing is not compulsory, you can walk anywhere you like in the shop.. didn't think this needed to be pointed out!

Great shop if you want cheap but not too bad stuff. People like to slag it off cos it's cheap but that cuts both ways.. a distinct advantage if you don't have or want to spend a lot of money…. Nowhere else on earth can you get a decent liveable sofa that looks ok and is comfy enough for £90. Or a comfy bed for £120. If those things are still that price 🙂

Confession time: I quite like it 😳

Midweek late night only though. And you still get someones screaming kids at 11pm on a schoolnight.

Well, we do seem to have some IKEA experts on here so a little question for you, save me starting a new thread.

IKEA wardrobes – any good? Sturdy? Everything fit together as it should?

Will they take the weight of half a dozen stuffed badgers?

Thank you so much. 🙂

We have the Hopen one, it's not bad although we didn't to a great job of pitching it. Far far cheaper than paying some cowboy £2k to slap some chipboard up I reckon.

As for quality – the production of the stuff seems absolutely spot on, even on the cheapest items. The materials get worse for the cheap stuff of course, but you always get the impression someone's really thought about really carefully despite the cost. Unlike the Dwell stuff we bought which looks really nice but the pieces weren't as well produced and the instructions were gash.