Great lies to tell cycling newbies

Inspired by this piece of excellence;

sweepy – Member
The drive chain was pioneered by a Frenchman.
In the little village of railleur, hence the name.

I rather liked the one of getting a newbie in a bike shop to find a pair of Lefty compatible v-brakes.

Oh, and it’s pronounced “Shy main oh” obviously.

Pro riders swallow electrolyte tablets so that they work faster.

I did once convince someone that High 5 Zero tabs were to be taken straight, not in water. Fizzy!

If your brakes squeal, oil them.

The “L” and “R” usually stamped onto pedals is to be used when the bike is inverted, resting on seat and handlebars. All drivetrain maintenance should be conducted with the bike in this position.

How’s about that pro-cycling is cleanz now and it’s all down to ‘marginal gains’….

The police will fine you if you don’t follow ‘The Rules’

In your first 10tt don’t worry about pace just go flat out from the start like everyonelse as its only 20odd mins.

(I hurt a lot)

You only need 10/11 gears.

When entering your first race, you need to fix a playing card to the fork so it flicks in the spokes. This is a safety feature to allow other riders to hear you when you are coming.

I thought that’s what ‘the rules’ was?

It’s a cheap hobby.

It doesn’t matter what size your wheels are…. 😮

V brake adaptor for a Lefty, and left handed pedal spanner were old favourites.

Yeah, everything fits with everything else

Of course you wear pants under lycra

Of course, pro road cyclists shave everything below off below waist line. (Say hello to your new friends itchy & scratchy;))

The pinky red bits of roots has the most grip

zanelad – Member
It’s a cheap hobby.

I was basically told this when encouraged to spend a lage amount* on my first proper MTB.

I quote. “Once you’ve got the bike and a helmet, it’s basically free”

*£400

dknwhy – Member
Pro riders swallow electrolyte tablets so that they work faster.

I have seen my mate do that, He won’t be swayed by my arguments that the water is an integral part of the hydration thing.

It’s totally reasonable to have to service your forks every 15 hours

When cleaning your bike with a jetwash, really get in there round the bushings, hubs, BB etc to make sure you flush all the debris out.

It gets easier.

It’s customary for newbies to buy the coffee and cakes!

You need to stay at the head of the bunch to show everyone you’re not some newbie and chase down everyone who tries to build a gap.

The top of the climb is literally just round the next bend.

Manitou forks, “you’ve put those on the wrong way around…”

The best place to learn how to use SPD’s is on the road before you try them offroad, and everybody gets used to them straight away

Members of the opposite sex are impressed by wheelies, skids and bunny hops

Just follow me, there’s nothing too extreme on this singletrack………

Just follow me, there’s nothing too extreme on this singletrack………

I still fall for that after 20 years…

When riding in a group on the road, always ride half a wheel in front of the person you’re alongside to show how strong you are.

riding a mountain bike makes you interesting.

I told my boyfriend it was illegal to unicycle in the Peak District National Park. He believed me for months.

Show your respect to other riders by waving to them with your middle finger 😆

kimbers – Member
Members of the opposite sex are impressed by wheelies, skids and bunny hops

This one is true though.

If you want real advice sign up to STW and ask Hora.

Red bikes are always faster,

law stated logos and valves should line up on wheels.

always wear underpants under shorts.

magazines always offer impartial advice on bikes, and the most expensive one is always the best,

Road cyclist dont need mudguards on group road rides,

Green bikes are fastest…FACT! 😀

You only need one bike.