Going for a beer/coffee with members of the opposite sex

was pondering this the other day, my parents wouldn’t ever ‘meet for a coffee’ with a member of the opposite sex or the other half of a couple (who are friends) which seems to be e generational thing but was wondering if this old fashioned attitude prevails with the younger generations?
personally i wouldn’t think twice about meeting up with one half of a couple whatever the gender and do have female friends who i meet independently of their partners.
i also visit a friend from my home village who now lives abroad and while the husband is away at work we go out for a wander/lunch after junior has been dropped at nursery, i get on well with her husband but obviously haven’t known him for 35 years. (we had a conversation on the same topic and he would never go for a drink with a female friend)

so enlightened urbane metrosexual or entrenched archaic patriarchal sensibilities and avoiding suffering the wrath of your partner and not trusting your self control?

Just put the condom on before you leave the house. Best to be prepared

Didn’t this come up sometime back..

I think it’s ok provided you (and them) are open with your partner/spouse, anything else could be construed to be amiss.

Having said that I’m struggling to think of couples where I’m chums with both at the same level.

Coffee = OK, Beer = Not OK
Wife knows about it = cool, don’t tell wife = not cool.

Your experience of your parents’ attitude does not reflect my parents. or me, or most of my friends (come to think of it)

Depends how ugly you/they are in relative terms. No one ever threw caution to the wind after a few cappuccinos.

My wife often goes out to the cinema / something to eat with friends who are male*. I’ve also been to gigs with one of her female friends (we both have excellent taste in music whereas my wife likes shit). We must be very enlightened or trusting or both.

* She also goes to the cinema with a friend who is, you know, a….. comfortable shoe wearer. I don’t find this alarming either.

I’ll put a stop to it as soon as I get home. If she’s in, that is.

while the husband is away at work we go out for a wander

😉

Their gender is irrelevant, if they’re going to go on and on about how rubbish the coffee is, stale beans, how the nespresso-hyper-steam-machine is set to the wrong grind/pressure matrix, the crime of wearing the wrong cut/thread count/selvedge pattern jeans, can’t understand the artistic merit of a photo etc. then you shouldn’t meet them in any social situation.

HTH.

There is no such thing as a purely platonic relationship imo. There will be an attraction at some level.

then you shouldn’t meet them in any social situation

is it ok to talk about IT systems, the merits of 29inch wheels over 26? and which audi engine is most economical when ‘making progress’?

at least if thats the topic of conversation the likelihood of experiencing a frisson of sexual tension would be distinctly remote.

There is no such thing as a purely platonic relationship imo. There will be an attraction at some level.

So you are saying you fancy your best mate?

Your experience of your parents’ attitude does not reflect my parents. or me, or most of my friends (come to think of it)

their attitude does not reflect mine or my friends either.

I’ve been on sailing weekends alone with female friends.

The thing I learned was the correct response to the question “Did you try it on with them?” is not “No, they’re way out of my league.”.

the merits of 26inch wheels over 29?

FTFY.

I’m not exactly younger generation, but no, don’t meet a married woman for beers/coffee/lunch/anything.

Doesn’t matter what your intentions are, or hers. Just don’t. It’s naive to do so and not expect repercussions, even if not aimed at you.

That’s my attitude anyhow.

No, I would not do it coz it just waste of time.

What to talk about that you haven’t talked with your wife etc?

No idle chatter with others wife alone.

If I were to go for a coffee with opposite sex alone she has to be single as I do not want to be accused of banging someone else wife/gf.

.

If I were to go for a coffee with opposite sex alone she has to be single as I do not want to be accused of banging someone else wife.

what exactly did they teach you in sex education?

I wouldn’t do coffee or beer 1:1, but have merrily met up for a bike ride… 😯

Oh. Should add, it depends on you. If you’re obese, ugly and a bore, then you’re safe. If you’re single, not hit every branch on the ugly tree and vaguely entertaining, you’re a threat.

No criticism of the men there, just the way it seems to be.

jam bo – Member

If I were to go for a coffee with opposite sex alone she has to be single as I do not want to be accused of banging someone else wife.

what exactly did they teach you in sex education? [/quote] Body parts and nothing else.

You presume the older generation didn’t meet up because of morals.

but….

Maybe they were just wise.

For me, one woman is MORE than enough….. and pity the poor lady who’d want to spend more time with emotionally literate beings, who are only ever thinking about footy, boobs or worst still….. bikes

There’s always one in these relationships who wants to bone the other. Usually the male whilst the female is just in it for the validation/attention

*goes back to the 70’s*

* She also goes to the cinema with a friend who is, you know, a….. comfortable shoe wearer. I don’t find this alarming either.

You should.

He’s a proper charmer is CaptainFlashy

No, I would not do it coz it just waste of time.

What to talk about that you haven’t talked with your wife etc?

how enlightened you are.
just imagine a female that can talk about something other than babies, shoes, handbags etc.
because they do exist.

what @matt said… can be a spin, out for the day or evening. sometimes with beer to follow :0)

just imagine a female that can talk about something other than babies, shoes, handbags etc.
because they do exist.

I would (and have) no problem with meeting up with other people for beer/coffee, dont mind my other half doing the same. People have different interests so i mix in different groups to suit. I have no interests in some of my girls hobbies so why shouldn’t she enjoy her interests with like minded people? (We do have common interests as well)

‘Comment of post’ prize goes to 66deg – love it

No, I would not do it coz it just waste of time.

What to talk about that you haven’t talked with your wife etc?

No idle chatter with others wife alone.

For once I agree with chewkw. No need for idle chatter. You both know what you’re there for so just get down to it. Not in the coffee shop obvs.

I go for a beer with my female mate all the time. I went for a dog walk with her last night and then for a pint. I’ve known her for years and I’ve known her boyfriend for a while too. We all know where we stand, it’s absolutely fine.

My parents could not get their heads around me going on holiday with her last autumn or the fact I’m going to America to see another female friend and it’s purely as mates.

nealglover – Member

* She also goes to the cinema with a friend who is, you know, a….. comfortable shoe wearer. I don’t find this alarming either.

You should.

He’s a proper charmer is CaptainFlashy [/quote]

You should. I agree with nealglover.

Because that is a confident guy who are not afraid to be himself with his looks or what he wears.

Wearing comfortable shoes means it’s quickie in and out … you dip in and you dip out … 😛

MrSmith – Member
how enlightened you are.
just imagine a female that can talk about something other than babies, shoes, handbags etc.
because they do exist.

I have never been out with female that talks about babies, shoes or handbags coz all I get are those deep thinkers …

I can assure you I prefer those that do not think too much.

Coffee, beer, bike rides, gigs, shopping, gym. All of the above, don’t see the problem. Now if I go with my mate Steve, should his husband be worried? Of course what all those people know is that none of them can compete with mrsmidlife. (In case she’s monitoring communication :wink:)

Nopes, not for me. Although i don’t have any female friends… at all.
I can’t ever imagine a reason why i’d want a female friend. It’s either sex/relationship or not…. simple as that. I can’t for a second imagine what we’d talk about.

As I started reading the OP so Marika Hackman’s Boyfriend started playing on the radio….

so you fancy everyone you know then including your family?

APPLAUSE

OT it depends I have a mate who would think I was trying to sleep with his wife if this happened – he once challenged me because I met her in the park – I say met we have young kid the same age and we met by chance
Others it does not matter

FOr example I often turn up at a mates house to pay scrabble with his wife as he goes to band practice

TBH I feel sorry for folk who pick friends based on gender

midlifecrashes – Member
Now if I go with my mate Steve, should his husband be worried?

Yes, if you two are up to no good coz weird thinking do get into people mind.

I have female friends, and I enjoy their company, as I do with my male friends, that is why they are my friends.

Was out alone all day riding (bikes) with a female friend last weekend. She took me to the pub afterwards and bought me a pint. Somehow she managed to restrain herself from jumping my bones.

What an odd thing to bring up.

I know you mentioned “gender irrelevant” , it’s because, like Yes..Gender is irrelevant.