Slow day at work. What’s yours?

[video]http://youtu.be/rgqKv9rkAE0[/video]

“Yay sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!”

Press any key to continue. Where’s the “any key” ?

Probably this one for me

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG5UzC4szMM[/video]

“Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems”

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlG0L28NNXQ[/video]

Press any key to continue. Where’s the “any key” ?

Definitely one of the very best.

may I also add (sorry, need the first two lines for context).

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit

I hate every monkey I see, from Chimpanz-A to Chimpan-Z

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand

Must. Kill. Mo.

Wheeeeeee!

Must. Kill. Mo.

Wheeeeeee!

Homer sleep now.

[video]http://youtu.be/ZipC_qQE6ok[/video]

”I’m absolutely, l00 percent, not guilty.”

If something’s hard to do it’s not worth doing

Super Nintendo Chalmers (Ralph)

Nobody snuggles with Max Power , Marge , you just strap yourself in and feel the g’s

Marge: work called, they said if you aren’t in work on Friday, don’t bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: Woohoo! 4 day weekend!

I’m a rage-aholic and all out of rageohol.

There there Bart, you tried and failed. The lesson is ‘never try’

If something is hard to do, it’s not worth doing.

If at first you don’t succeed, give up.

Spider-pig. Spider-pig. Does whatever it is a spider-pig does

“Lisa, beer me!” [always goes down well in our house]
and
“Sweet liquor eases the pain”

“(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?” “Yes” “Bacon?” “Yes Dad” Ham?” “Dad all those meats come from the same animal” “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!””

No you can’t play with it you won’t enjoy it on as many levels as I do.
Professor Frink to small child..

(Ralph Wiggum) Me fail English? That’s unpossible!

RM.

Lugash: “Lugash says you all did great, cats for everyone!”
(Hands out cats)
Girl: “I had a dog”
Lugash: “it cat now”

Arty Ziff: “What’s it like to be married to Marge?”
Homer: “It’s like being married to my best friend, and he lets me touch his boobs.”

I used this in my wedding speach 🙂

No TV and no beer make Homer something something…

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yGJGTjV2WE[/video]

Homer: What is a wedding? Well, Webster’s Dictionary defines it as – the process of removing weeds from one’s garden.

The only quote I can ever remember.

Homer: “Ohhhhh, I’ve got three children and no money. Why can’t I have no children and three money?”

Strikes a note with me 🙁

Homer, “It’s funny because it’s true”. Applicable to sooo many inappropriate situations.

tomhoward – Member

Marge: work called, they said if you aren’t in work on Friday, don’t bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: Woohoo! 4 day weekend!

🙂
I wanted to post this but could only remember the punch line !

Homer: How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?

The Simpsons have had to put a banner up on their house which says ‘Sorry for my intolerance’ and Homer says to Marge “That banner sure has paid for itself”

Out on motorbikes with a mate last sunday morning when a deer ran across the road in front of mate. I laughed all the way to the cafe stop.
Homer (on hitting a deer): D’oh
Marge: a deer
Lisa: a female deer
Couldn’t get the above simpsons scene out of my mind

beer- the cause and solution to all lifes problems

As a mere level 4 vegan…

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFBeeBSIH5Q[/video]

Homer:

Sure, you can prove just about anything with facts!

I have used this many times at work.

The only quote I can ever remember.

And a marvellous one at that! I keep referring to our “weeding” in all the preparations, not sure ms njee20 gets the reference.

Two stand outs for me:

Mr. Burns: What are you doing in my corpse hatch?
Wiggum: Mr. Burns, you’re under arrest!
Mr. Burns: Did I say “corpse hatch”? Uh… I meant “innocence tube”!

and

Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I’ll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away.
Marge: She’s not afraid of bunnies!
Homer: She will be!

“Put me back on my bike”.

(I know he probably didn’t say it)

Homer (pretending to be Mr Burns): Hello,I believe you have a package for me.
Postal worker: Ok Mr Burns, what’s your first name?
Homer: ……… I don’t know.

Boy, everyone is stupid except me.

I am so smart! S-M-R-T… I mean S-M-A-R-T

“A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man”