Seriously, they sent the wrong colour but I’m expected to jump through all these hoops???
Jump through hoops, really? It’s not the seller’s fault that you don’t have a printer.
Many (most? all?) Hermes drop-off points have printing facilities. Get the barcode up on your phone, wave it at the machine and it’ll puke out a label. Stick it on the box, give it to the nice person behind the counter. Does it not say “if you do not have a printer…” on the return form advising you what to do?
Also, how can you not own a printer, not have access to a public printer, and not have any friends or family with a printer, in 2021? Email it to me, I’ll print it out for you and post it back if you promise to chuck a quid in a charity collection tin next time you pass one.