Domestic violence, anyone ever suffered it?

I just have. My wife was on the phone to her daughter (while using her laptop) & she said ‘I find it hard balancing the phone under my chin’. So i said, ‘try the other chin’

Whack!

once 23yrs ago, at a Nye party, I insulted her infront of friends.
she punched me in the mouth, I needed 4 stitches.
it has never happened since…….I learned my lesson.

Do Mrs Danny’s really offensive farts count – I mean the sort that make your eyes water?

My missus cracked me right in the pods for aggressively tickling her, she claims it was accidental but I know better. By Grabthar’s hammer, I will be avenged.

Tony, if your Mrs dared to whack you, I wouldn’t like to upset her!

My wife is rather good at aikido. This means whenever we have an argument I have to break a chair across her back early on otherwise I’m in for a beating.

My wife was getting a bit out of hand during an aggressive tickling moment, I tried to get my own back and ended up being clawed across the chest, taking the tip of my nipple off with her nails. That was a little eye-watering…and surely counts?

Mrs hh once won a ticklefight with the words ‘Stop, someone will get hurt – and it’ll be ME!’.

I keeled over laughing.

Once a few years ago. My ex and I had been out with friends and got rather inebriated. One of said friends, who has the same name as me, had been seeing a lass for a couple of weeks but went home with a different lass that night. Back at my friends house my ex went to the toilet as the conversation turned to the friend who hadn’t come back and someone said “XXX loves cheating” as my ex was coming back down the corridor into the room. She walks in and clocks me one straight in the noggin without saying a thing, big friggin ring she had on took a chunk out of my scalp, then just starts raining punches in calling me a b-starred and all sorts. I grabbed her arms and pinned them to her side, telling her to stop and asking what was wrong. My face got too close to hers and she nutted me. My friends weren’t amused and were telling me to get her out of the flat as she was carrying on something alarming and it was early in the AM. We got outside and I kept asking her what was wrong, I didn’t know she’d heard “XXXX loves cheating” so didn’t make the connection. She had another few swings at me and walked off down the road. She was trying to get a taxi back home (a 2 hour drive) but I managed to convince her to kip in the car with me, she went in backseat and I went in front passenger side. Woke up and drove her home.
We broke up about a month later, she just couldn’t get it out of her head that I was the one cheating and not my friend with the same name. That night was the beginning of the end. Woe is me 😆

The next time I went round the lads house she kicked off in, they played this when I walked in the door.

GLC- Your missus is a nutter