Does your O/H fart?

she never used to, but since our dog died earlier this year she seems to have taken up the hobby with gusto
I can only presume its some strange extended mourning ritual

she never used to, but since our dog died earlier this year she seems to have taken up the hobby with gusto

😆

Exquisitely put.

only when i pull her finger.

this is of course fine. But when i shake some dust of the lampshades, apparently the rules change, and he-who-dealt-it needs to stand outside for a few minutes.

Silent-but-deadly ones only. Never heard a proper trump.

In our house we have a strong belief that if you can’t launch an air biscuit in front of your other half you’re married the wrong person.

But she does at least give me fair warning if we’re spooning at the time.

My misses never farted in all the years we were living in sin!!
But as soon as we got married ….all hell broke loose…and the weather has been windy ever since!!
And what cracks me up is she try’s to pretend nothing has happened….but our dog knows…..as she will always sniff out a stinker….by sitting next to you 😆

yep.. the rule in our house is you have to give yourself a score out of ten afterwards

Wife and younger daughter (13) fart like troopers and find it hilariously funny. Older daughter (16) has never been known to trump and finds the whole issue rather displeasing. She’s the cuckoo in the nest.

Most wimmin’ don’t stop talking long enough to build up enough pressure to need to fart…

OMG! this is it! I never understood how my missus managed to never fart, this solves the riddle

Conversely my wife barely says a word buts farts like a trooper. The theory is sound.

Theory quashed, mine can breath through her ears, talk and fart at the same time !

Women don’t fart, they ‘Sigh’. Chaps on the other hand, launch chemical warfare.

Yes but only to give me a clue.

do not search for farting women on youtube 😯

Yep, like a trooper as do both our cats (who are much worse than humans).

Long and lustily. she also has a sneeze that can rattle the windows.

MrSmith- how bad is it exactly?

Mine does and normally finds it very funny.

Especially the very silent, foul smelling ones. You know its bad when the cat moves!

Absolutely not, she is a lady. We just have a lot of squeaky floorboards 🙄

The reason women don’t fart – they save it all up and it comes out as drama

Mrs M burps like a squaddie and her farts put Union Carbide to shame!

Oh and Ahsoka-beans-poppet-dog’s bottom should be classed as a weapon of mass destruction!

MrSmith- how bad is it exactly?

Well compelling due to bums but repulsive at the same time. Bit like seeing porn for the first time. 😯

Evening. Cheers MrSmith, what has been seen can’t be unseen. Abit like two ladies, one cup floweth over (the male version would be like a Claymore mine).

As the years progress….. When we were first going out she ordered a calzone in a local pizzeria, and asked for extra garlic. The pizza had a half inch stripe of minced garlic through it. She let one go in the wee small hours that woke us both up.

Soon after we were married she peeled one off in the Kashmir in Bradford which drew comments from the table behind her!

This thread reminded me of a farting “incident”

I came home a bit tipsy one evening and was on the phone to my brother as I started getting undressed for bed.

Mrs PF was already in bed, snoozing, and started moaning about how loud I was being.

I was over her side of the bed and felt a bottom burp coming on and thought it would be hilarious to “throw” it at her as she tried to get back to sleep.

Given my drunken state, it did not go according to plan and I ended up slapping her delicate wee face with a good amount of power as she slept.

Try explaining to your other half that you were not in fact trying to assault her, but merely trying to throw a fart in her face.

Mine holds them in. I can only assume they float up her spine and into her head, would explain all the shite she comes out with.

mine does the same when she can but every now and then she will let a ripper off in the house or in the car. usually she will say “oops” or “i’ve just farted”.
the loud ones arent too bad but the silent ones are deadly….like something has died in her gut!
i fart all the time. kids find it hilarious, she just rolls her eyes at me like as if im being immature or something.

Some people are far too uptight, it can’t be good for you.

Probably just need a good fart. My ex used to go to the toilet to fart.

To give a different perspective been with my BF now for coming upto 4 months and I’ve so far not heard him fart apart from on the loo, apparently he is of the opinion people should have enough control to do it while on the toilet. It’s sodding hard work because now obviously I have to match that ethic, its particularly challenging as we’re both runners as well as me riding bikes and I personally find it crippling to run with wind and I have to try to be strategic about any cars etc passing! Doesnt help that as someone with hereditary stomach problems that I do need to fart a fair bit!

he is of the opinion people should have enough control to do it while on the toilet.

I personally find it crippling to run with wind and I have to try to be strategic about any cars etc passing! Doesnt help that as someone with hereditary stomach problems that I do need to fart a fair bit!

Ditch him. You need a partner who will embrace your farts. He sounds a bit uptight.

🙂

Frequently and freely is the way. We feign disgust but thoroughly relish farting in each other’s company. I’m convinced it adds years to one’s life.

The hot, clingy, peanut butter ones are a bit rough sometimes though. I think it’s the protein. And another variety that smell, quite frankly, like bins.

Only after anal

Mrs 10 has repeatedly released such unholy odors when sleeping that it wakes me up. She is a keen practitioner of the ‘silent but deadly’ style. Although recently has taken to blaming the in-laws dog, which we don’t have.

Hubby let rip on our very first date. I tried to act horrified but fell about laughing.
A few years ago I was on an mtbing holiday in Scotland with 4 blokes. One evening we had a delicious meal in an old fashioned hotel. I felt one brewing, so out of embarrassment I sneaked off to the ladies loo. Once inside with the heavy outer door closed I started and couldn’t stop. Wind was flowing and nothing I could do would prevent the constant noise. I ended ip almost kneeling down and crying with laughter. Luckily no one else came in.
I was gone for ages but the guys were so piddled they hadn’t noticed my absence.
The memory still brings on a wee chuckle.