Do you find it hard to settle down because of your hobbies?

Wife and 2 kids here. She used to be a professional level swimmer, I’ve some done time I in county rugby leagues.

Now we have 2 kids, she has less time for me for hobbies, but I ride and organise myself around the family, and she dances (tap/jazz) to a good level and performs in some shows. It’s all about compromise a helping each other out. I sincerely hope my kids choose some hobbies which I can support them at that makes my own difficult to organise and that they excel at.

Life’s unfair, and not always about you. If you feel it is and can’t compromise with someone else, do them a favor and choose not to share it with them.

Met Mr Kip working at an outdoor centre, we have many bikes each and other outdoorsy stuff and share very similar hobbies…mtb, climbing, outdoor life in general. What has stopped us doing these things together is having a small child and no local close family to babysit.

We give each other as much time as possible but this summer has really stopped our ability to take Small Kip out with us as a family as after a certain amount of time she’s hacked off with being wet!

Hopefully this summer will lead to some better weather and some low level bouldering as she loves playing at the local climbing wall (where we are drinking tea and eating cake because only one of us is available!) and more balance bike riding. Fingers crossed!

We aren’t married but will be by next year. Partner works night’s and o work days. We go for walks and on Mtb together when we’re off together. If we have separate days off I go on my mtb or motorbike when she’s in bed. I’m also told to piss off out when she is on a house cleaning mission as she likes it done her way.

I’m actively encouraged to do my hobbies and so is she, she likes horse riding, walking and mtb’ing. We enjoy getting muddy.

he once took me to NY and said I could have antyhing in Tiffanys as an Xmas pressie, i walked in looked at all the pretentious woman said “no thanks” and walked out again .. had my pic taken with the sign though!!

I like your style 😉 . New bike parts all the way! I’ve never had a gf with similar interests, sometimes I think I’m better off. I don’t think I’d have the patience to go away on a weeks skiing or biking with a gf who was really slow and/or moany! 😛

Nearly 40 and single and my love of the outdoors and exercise is definitely part of the problem as I want to find someone with a similar passion and that’s not easy in London, which tends to attract the more urban laydee.
Yes they’re great to look at 😀 but mountains, outdoor exercise and adventure tend not to be in their list of interests…
Problem is, my health is very important to me and as I see the country get fatter and fatter and as I get older I’m more determined to keep myself in good health, which means keeping it a priority.
I’m also a pretty decent runner and I don’t want that to go to waste.
I really don’t think I’d be happy in a relationship if my health had to be compromised so I want someone with the same outlook…

My wife isn’t particularly outdoorsy but I don’t think it matters we still have loads of other things in common and enjoy each others company.

This. Just have to make sure I don’t spend all my spare time on my bike, playing footy and the other stuff she isn’t into. Gotta compromise.

I am sure many people find a love of the outdoors attractive in others of the opposite sex (or indeed same sex). But with the added responsibilities (partners, children etc) comes choices and the odd sacrifice especially relating to risky activities. So in my case, paragliding, rock climbing, canoeing and more extremes off piste have all gone in return for the joy and added responsibility of marriage, kids, growing up etc. Still plenty of other adventure sports left though!!!!

Actually might just be getting older that’s to blame ! 😉

It wasnt until meetiing the future Mrs Stoner that I actually started doing more outdoorsy stuff. We met at our hockey club, but only since then did I take up Snowboarding, mountainbiking, bivvying, kiting, hiking etc.

Mrs S is a very keen runner, swimmer and roadie so is out training at least 5 if not 6 times a week. I probably resent getting up at 6:30 on saturday mornings for her pool training though 🙁 but otherwise we give each other the time and support we both need to pursue our individual hobbies. She runs/rides during the day or morning, I primarily night ride. I get pink slips to go away for overnight walks etc, and she gets pink slips to go away to races – although the family will often go and crew for her.

Our greatest loss however, was the arrival of kids preventing us from skiing/boarding.

This spring, thanks to Mrs Stoner Sr offering to babysit, the wife and I will get our first ski trip in for 7 years. Im already SOOOOOOOO excited Im off to the shed this morning to dig out my board give it a polish! 😀

But kids neednt cramp things too much. Ski trips are obviously a problem (£5k for a week with two kids, ski school and creche? No thanks) but getting the camper van and loading it up for a month on the continent plugs that need to satisfy the wanderlust while having the kids in tow.

Hmmm, one of the things that caused me and Sara to crash a few months ago was me running. She’s at uni in Oxford and would drive back home to me ( gloucester) every weekend, then I’d eff off sometimes for 3-4 hours every Sunday morning with the running club, and when she moaned about it ( ok, I understand a bit now that I was being pretty selfish) I’d get all grumpy, and it would be a bit crap. But she’s pretty sporty when she wants to be, she’s a better roadie than me ( rubbish at mountain bikes though LOL) and we’d never argue about spending money on kit as neither of us has any spare cash anyway!!

So in my case, paragliding, rock climbing, canoeing and more extremes off piste have all gone in return for the joy and added responsibility of marriage, kids, growing up etc.

See I don’t like the sound of that 😐 . I did say during a “discussion” with my ex that I thought life ended once you had kids and were married 😉 .. which was maybe a bit harsh, but I do think that to a certain extent. Of course you have a whole new life that’s only beginning too.

I see where you’re coming from emsz..

No. My wife isn’t at all “outdoorsy”. We have some interests we share and some we don’t.

Michael it really wasn’t that difficult. Road-to-Damascus moment came standing at a parapenting launch in the Lakes, thinking why am I doing this when I have wife and young kids at the bottom of the mountain?

But life doesn’t end it just brings different rewards and, with hindsight, there are no real compromises. Oh and commitments stopped me extending HIM training out to full ironman – which was a great relief!!! 😉

Our greatest loss however, was the arrival of kids preventing us from skiing/boarding.

This spring, thanks to Mrs Stoner Sr offering to babysit, the wife and I will get our first ski trip in for 7 years. Im already SOOOOOOOO excited Im off to the shed this morning to dig out my board give it a polish!

But kids neednt cramp things too much. Ski trips are obviously a problem (£5k for a week with two kids, ski school and creche? No thanks) but getting the camper van and loading it up for a month on the continent plugs that need to satisfy the wanderlust while having the kids in tow.

I have an issue with that. The minute one chooses to have kids, everything else is secondary. Why would you regret it of regard it as a loss? Surely you’ve gained something far greater.

And with regard to the latter part, you can’t afford that compromise so you bugger off for a month on your own? Thats a bit selfish is it not? (I apologise in advance if I misunderstand what you are saying).

I don’t regret my kids or my wife having an impact on my biking hobby, I just work around it to everyones convience rather than deny my children/wife thier own enjoyment and force them to endure mine should they not want to. I’m just gratefull they are all in my life.

mrs rocket likes mountains & I like bikes = no problems

Thing is your life does “end” when you have children, and in that I mean my current lifestyle is not compatible with children. Yes a whole different lifestyle opens up including different joys and challenges, but I love my life and don’t want to change it!

Thing is your life does “end” when you have children,

No, it doesn’t.

but I love my life and don’t want to change it!

Which is fine, just make sure you’re open about this with a prospective partner, and don’t do anything that causes regret.

Krytone we’ve been together 10 years and have always sung off the same songsheet, but you’ve not read what I wrote! Our lives as in my current lifestyle would end if we had kids! we MTB together, snowboard etc now tell me how you do that when you have kids? when you have no family local to help out? I certainly won’t do anything I regret, I’m very much a glass half full kind of person and I see so many people getting divorced because children changes their lifestyle in ways that they can’t deal with and don’t like.

Thing is your life does “end” when you have children

Popular misconception imo

mrs rocket was walking Munros 3 months before our first child and he climbed his first in a papoose at the age of something like 10 weeks. Carried him in progressively bigger papooses until he was a few years old, he’s still climbing mountains now. Same with biking – child seat/tag/own bike etc. miss rocket arrived a few years later when jr was old enough to understand and to a certain extend look after his sister.

There’s no need to wrap them up in cotton wool and spend your weekends at Wacky warehouses carry on doing your own thing just take ’em with you.

Munge-chick, see my post on page 1. Me and Mrs K still pursue our interests, just in a different way to accomodate 2 kids. Yes there are times where I can’t ride when / as often as I want to, and she can’t Dance / Scuba when / as much as she wants to.

If you don’t want kids that fine, np. All I’m saying is don’t have them and feel aggrieved like i interpreted Stoners post ( I say again, maybe incorrectly)…

you have rather misinterpreted.

You can lose a girlfriend and gain a wife
You can lose a fortune and gain happiness
You can gain children and lose opportunities.
You can lose independence and gain the love of your children.

its not contradictory, its a matter of fact. No one here is saying theyd trade the kids in to GO BACK to pre child life. But that doesnt mean that some of us dont pine for just a small piece of some of the better bits of life without kids, whilst having kids..

OK Stoner, but you have to admit your sentence comes across stronger than that:

Our greatest loss however, was the arrival of kids preventing us from skiing/boarding.

It sounds emotive and like you blame your kids. FWIW thats how it reads that the greatest loss in your life is your hobby, and that it was caused by your kids.

If I can misinterpret it, please make sure one of kids can’t pick up your PC and see what you wrote, won’t you?.

Our greatest loss of a hobby however,

Did the noun really need repeating given it was in the OP….or are you used to people around you suggesting that having children was the greatest loss in their life? Never heard of Occam’s razor?

WOAH THERE… lets not start threatening your kids with razors just cos you can’t hit the slopes!

What’s red and sits in the corner?…..

Stoner – Member
What’s red and sits in the corner?…..

The little B’stid that ended your snownboarding career? 😉

😆

Night rides are one way of getting out on your MTB when you have a full time job, partner and kids. A group of us do a night ride every Wednesday starting at 8. That leaves time to have tea with the family first rather than disappearing straight off after work.

A mountain biking girlfriend would be awesome

Bivvying in the highlands in May….

Romantic trips away to the Alps in July….

Understanding why its perfectly acceptable to buy equipment for the sheer hell of it…

Life couldn’t get better