My mother would always tell me that I was ‘big boned’ and ‘broad’, unlike herself who was very slender, blonde, and Miss Pelsall 1962, don’t you know … -_- She also told me that I shouldn’t wear skirts with hems on the knee or higher, because I hadn’t got the legs to carry it off.
My sister in law, upon seeing pictures of my brother as a baby, squealed, “He looks like Smeagol!”
One of the (many) girls who got pregnant at my school brought her newborn son into the common room. Lots of girls were going, ‘so cute’, and my mate Davenport chimed in with “fudge off is he, he looks like Sloth from the Goonies!”
Edit: this is Mrs Toast, by the way, forgot Mr Toast has been using my iPad. He also doesn’t wear skirts above the knee….