Depression

can’t even look at my bike.

This whilst not the cause of your depression, is perhaps the stumbling block to a recovery.

All I’ll say is I’ve been in some pretty dark places in my time, many of them recently. I’ve been prescribed pills which did nothing for me basically, and tried various other things. None of it worked…

What did work? Exercise…

Been out on my bike loads, joined a gym, I’m probably the fittest I’ve ever been. I’m not the happiest person in the world yet, but I’m a bloody sight better than I was…

What GW said up the top about just getting on your bike, now… Most sense I’ve heard in ages! If all you do is ride it up and down the road outside your house for 10 minutes, pop it off a few kerns, try a couple of wheelies, it will at least bring a smile to your face trust me!

Oh and FWIW, reading Bullheart’s story, I’d attribute his recovery to sheer determination and the desire to ride a bike and stay healthy. Exercise saves lives! 🙂

Been out on my bike loads, joined a gym, I’m probably the fittest I’ve ever been. I’m not the happiest person in the world yet, but I’m a bloody sight better than I was…

And the boy can ride too…

(mboy – Bullheart Allstars team rider)

NHS services are patchy and most have lead in times of many weeks and months before you can see a dedicated professional.
Self help in the short term can be found at drop in meetings with the added benefit of group support. Self help longer term is what will get you well. Try
http://www.depressionalliance.org/how-we-can-help/berkshire.php
Cognitive behavioural therapy and exercise are proven to be far more effectice than medication for most people in most circumstances.

miss-spent youth,long term unemployed,mixing with the wrong crowd, drug habit, drinking every day and depression resulted in me having some kind of breakdown. was put on disability by the docs long term and given prozac,,,,,, the perscription drugs didnt work,,, BUT,,,,

GOING OUT ON MY BIKE MEETING UP WITH A DIFFERENT CROWD, ENDORPHINS AND ADRENALIN DID WORK AND IT TURNED MY LIFE AROUND.

as has been mentioned, get on your bike wether you like it or not if you dont get home with a smile on your face,,,,, do it again, you will get there eventually.

im 8 years drug free (still have the odd drink though 😀 ) and couldnt be happier, 2 months into a complicated broken collar bone that has stopped me from riding has made no difference,,,,,,,, 1 day when its sorted i will be back out rain or shine and I CANNOT WAIT TO FEEL THAT BUZZ AGAIN.

also try a bit positive thinking,karma and other hippy siht,, no matter how pointless it may seem at the time it will eventualy make a difference, things just drop into place and you will look back and think,,,, what the f,,,,was i thinking.

good luck pal, i would never wish it on anybody.

Didn’t really want to say too much, but in relation to others here; I was recommended to find an exercise related hobby 10 years ago.

Mtb became my saviour and my greatest hobby. My proudest and greatest moments (other than my wife & son) since then have been on my mtb. 10 years later at nearly 40 I’m still achieving.

Get on it. Ride it. It’s an escape, a reason to have pride in yourself, a route to accomplishment and self achievement. Do it.

Ditto on the exercise thing.

If you have you’re physical health, use it. I can’t do anything without being in pain of late and it’s bringing me back into my depression years.

Can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve been biking now 🙁

My way of coping is ‘find something you enjoy doing, anything, and do it lots’.

I don’t think this has been mentioned yet but I found relaxation quite useful.

Breathing exercises, focusing on the breath and then moving onto meditation… various techniques to try! Look up yoga breathing online..loads of information.

It’s useful to help turn your thoughts off and it’s free!

Loads of useful advice here so far. Exercise is great and will help your sleep.

Good luck..you *will* feel better.. you are just experiencing a *temporary* problem!

In the last 12 months life has handed me quite a shitty stick which ended up 3 months ago with me being signed off sick with depression.
My doctor in Wales said I was just exhausted but I was far worse than that.
I went back month after month and he just gave me pills. These pills were doing nothing so I asked him for more help.
I tried councellIng, acupuncture, homeopathy and nothing seems to work.
I did have some very dark thoughts that scared me a lot but could get no help.
I transferred my doctor to one in west berkshire where I work hoping that would improve the situation.
The doctor there said I was an urgent patient and would book me into a clinic to help.
This was 3 weeks ago and still have had no reply. I called them to ask regularly but noone can give me a date.
I am getting more and more desperate.
This fantastic national health is really not working for me.
I hate feeling like this and am scared of what I might do.
Can someone please tell me how I should get treatment.
I don’t have money for private.

Have you talked to anyone about your dark thoughts?
As others have said you have had a lot happen over the last year and the way you are feeling is a normal reaction to this but it’s really hard when you are feeling down to get out of it.
The thing to understand about depression is that it is maintained by cycles (no pun intended on this forum) as your thoughts become negative you lose interest and do less, the less you do the worse you feel so your thoughts become more negative. This sounds awful but the good thing is that by changing one aspect you can turn this around. It may feel like you are faking it and you will have to force yourself to start with but engaging in physical activity really has the power to turn this around for you.
Have a look at a website called livinglifetothefull it’s a self help CBT site which is recommended by most primary care mental health services.
Hope you feel better soon x

The most important thing to remember, when things are really bad, is this is just a phase, a passing period of horrible time.

It is not like your early life, it will not be like the rest of your life, its just a tiresome miserable period of time that will pass eventually.

Trudge through it like walking through mud, accept that is it dire. Remember that if you keep going you will get to the other side and it will be behind you and chances are, because for you the situation is circumstantial not chemical, that you will never ever feel anywhere near this bad again.

In a 6 year period I lost my home, my pets, my parental family fell apart and no one is in communication now, broke up with my partner and then lost the person who turned out to be the love of my life. Thats the simple version, it was worse and more complicated than that! Oh and I got a load of grief from work too. I just kept going day to day through the awfulness.
Lifes better now and still improving and if life gets a bit shit, I know I can travel through the rough bits as I survived much worse.

You can do this. You can win. Each day is a day nearer the better stage of your life. Each day you get through gives you the upper hand.

Never forget – the ultimate victory if things get almost unberable is choosing to live.

Totally agree with the riding/exercise/yoga/even meditation points made by others………..but specifically on your GP and what the NHS can offer:

Over the last couple of years in most parts of the country the NHS mental health services have introduced ‘talking therapies’ – the front line of these go by the acronym of IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies), and after an initial assessment you may be referred on for CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) or some othet kind of talking therapy. This is often combined with continued medication, so don’t give up on that – but medication on its own is often (as you have discovered) not enough.

Why your GP hasn’t taken this route for you I don’t know, but GPs are a varied bunch – some are brilliant and inspired human beings and others are, well, crap! Be very direct and assertive in what you ask for and be very clear that what has been offered so far is NOT working. Don’t be fobbed off. If necessary take someone with you to help nail the GP down to effective action.

Very good luck!

Most pharmaceutical treatments take a while to take effect. If you’ve been feeling naff for a while then it might take a little longer.

Hang in there, find some good people to talk to and keep yourself occupied.

Good luck.

I’ve been in the place the OP is in and I offer my full sympathy. I couldn’t think of cycling. Exercise did ‘save’ me but making that first step is bloody hard. It’s a feeling that’s beyond feeling lazy or I can’t be bothered to cycle today that you can’t really pinpoint. I believe exercise and company is the best cure, I was prescribed many antidepressants, hyptnotism, group work and counceling. Nothing is a patch on cycling or running hard to clear the crap out your head and feel good about yourself. Good luck and please please cycle today, even if it’s down the street, it’s the biggest step.

go to your bike take it outside and ride it around, anywhere, it doesn’t matter, don’t even bother getting changed or looking for your helmet, just go and do it now!

this is good advice.. when you’re depressed it’s a nightmare even trying to remember what being motivated or interested or enthusiastic feels like..

don’t even think about it for a second or you will put yourself off the idea..

I have not read all the posts.

There is no one correct answer to what is the best treatment – different things work for different people and circumstances. Drugs are not a cure – but they are a good treatment and allow you time and space to get better and also assist you to remember what it is like not to be miserable.

Same with talking therapies – its about what suits you.

Exercise is good – I can only echo the advice given about getting out on your bike – agree to meet with someone to ride to help give you motivation

I’m not an expert, but I do know that exercise is the best thing for depression, and power ****.

+100 to exercise, and if you don’t ‘feel’ like it, maybe consider that you don’t need to only do what you ‘feel’ like doing – feelings aren’t a great guide to things we should or shouldn’t try to do.

and remember that the only ‘normal’ people are the ones you don’t very well.

The rubik cube methophore: in life the more to try to force order and control (over emotions) the more it does you in, don’t over analyse, step back a bit and learn to just appreciate the random colourful patterns.

Death of 2 close friends 1 week apart,, split up, got dvt, ex had cancer(after breakup), father had camcer scare,put on 3 stone, can’t even look at my bike

…

You’ve had the stuffing knocked out of you. That’s enough to leave anyone feeling a bit low. Take your time. You’ll be back. Stronger than ever.

Courage dude.

depression is a walk a bloody long one at times sometimes it rains but the sun does come out occasionally
stupid little things rather than pills and talking to people will get you through unbelievably switching from radio fives moaning to radio twos music for my 90 minute commute helped a lot by just having a more positive slant on the start of my day ( alas then chris evans arrived)

Go to amazon or a book store..and have a look at CBT. Cognitive Behvaoiural Therapy. Take it easy..

Be easy on yourself..

Look at the postive as much as you can.

One step at a time

It’s common so don’t feel like your the only one ( if that makes sense).

If you cannot face the bike.. Maybe a swim or soemthing…
Depends how deep it is.. go for a ride, soemthing else you enjoy etc etc..

Try a remove a sense of guilt..from particating in something you like..

please take comfort in the fact that if you see the RIGHT doctors, and take advice here etc.. things WILL get better.. AND you’ll be stronger for it..take it easy DUDE

If you’re about iolo, how’s things?

Hope you’re situation and mood have improved… update please!

Not doing so good.
Went to vienna, saw psychiatrist there, gave me some pills, finally got an appointment in the uk with NHS today.
Changed my pills again!!!!!!Guy really seemed as if he did not care at all.
Still having really bad days.
So all in all, shite

Onwards and upwards, it’ll sound trite, but things will improve and you’ll be a stronger person for it.

iolo – what do you think needs to happen for your state of mind to improve and stay good?

Anything anyone can do to help?

Pointless question, I know, but I have to ask…

Thanks for the kind offer camo but I’m ok. Just not feeling too sociable just yet.
SBZ if I knew the answer to that I’d be on my way to a cure.
At present my mind is like a very strange place sometimes and its driving me mad (literally).

iolo – i fully understand the mind being a very strange place sometimes aspect of depression and how it feels like it’s driving you mad. I am happy for you to email me and discuss this if you want. I dealt with it for 17 years before finally getting it under control within the last year.

Thankyou dear

I bought myself a new bike
See here.
Went to wales for the weekend yesterday.
Did one run on it on my favourite dh track and really broke down.
Drove back to Berkshire as I really can’t deal with the shit in my head.
Can somebody please tell me this gets better as I’m struggling to cope.

Hey up, if you need to talk to someone, just say and you can talk to me.

add me to that list.

What I did:

I shared how I felt with a real person (forums are great but you need real people), people you trust. You would be surprised how good that feels.
If somebody you know, or on here wants to share their experiences with you, let them. It feels good knowing that other people have been there as well
Be totally honest with your GP, if they don’t help go back and see another partner in the practice.
Give medication a fair chance, it can take a good four weeks or so to get going in your system. It does work, but it may take time to get it right
Work out what you are good at and do more of it
Get outside every day, fresh air is magic.

It does and will get better, but you may need to push to get the help you need

From the inside, where you are sitting, it looks like things will never change, that there is no way out, that no one understands how you feel, how absolutely f**king desperate you are.

The thing is that you are not alone, that you are not the only person to feel like this, and that there will be others who feel as bad as you do. It is temporary, it may not feel like it, but it is, and you need to get through it so you can be you again, and so you can tell other people how bad you felt and give them, in turn, hope.

This too shall pass, it will fade, it will be less intense.

Your role is to sit and deal calmly, gently, caringly with yourself, it’s not about being a hero, it’s about getting through each day, and each day is a little victory, a small triumph.

Stick with it fella, and buy a cross bike next…. 😉

Drop me a line anytime.

Been there, done that etc. No one-size-fits-all fix i’m afraid as everyone is different but remember this above all else.

Your family, your friends, perhaps even your colleagues WANT TO HELP, you just have to let them in. The horrible thing about depression is the way it makes you alienate yourself from your friends and family. Figure out who you trust the most and ask them to keep nagging you to involve yourself.

Good luck.

I hear you but staying away from friends, not getting out and just hiding away will not help you.

My dad recently died, I had not seen him for about 30 years. A family member I did not know contacted me and I went over to a very hostile reception. I decided to tell my mum, she divorced him 40 years ago but i thought she should know, again i had not been in contact with that side of my family for about 20 years. Their are reasons I wasnt in contact with these people I dont really want to go into here but lets just say my dad showed no interest until he knew he wouldnt need to pay child payments and my mum/new partner were alcoholics from about me being 8 years old until I left home at 15, they were far from being model parents. I seperated from my wife of 20 years in January of last year which wasnt nice but had been coming for a while, fortunately we are still good friends and she has actually supported me through some of this.

3 months ago my house was broken into, various stuff was stolen including various bikes, luckily I was insured. My house was burgled again last week. While this is a complete pain it is only possesions which can be replaced, my son though has been very affected by this and is scared when in my house at times, this is a horrible thing to see, the fact that he does not feel safe even although he is with his dad. I also am very wary about leaving the house as the people that did it live nearby. My son was also knocked off his bike on the way to school recently, fortunately he hasnt had any major damage from that but it was a horrible trip going to see him at the hospital (we were there agian on Tuesday when his knee flared up)

I have had some quite bad injuries over the last year which have kept me doing something I love – biking, that may sound trivual to some in the scheme of things but it messes with your head.

Why am i telling you this? Up until recently I bottled all of this up, I was falling apart, had time off work (holiday – didnt tell them why I wanted to be off) and then I spoke to my manager, they were great and gave me a week off. I then spoke to my best mate, ex wife and current partner about it all, this has helped me loads. The break in last week wasnt great and set me back a bit but the first thing I did was take action. I spoke with people about it, I fitted a house alarm and I bought a new bit of bling for one of my bikes.

I have started getting out on the bike more, talked more to people about how I am feeling and have booked myself in for councelling (my work offer this and my manager suggested I should do it). It feels good to be getting out, the other week I went on a bike ride with a few guys I havent seen for a while, it was great.

The advice to get out there is something to listen to, people are offering to go out, people that have had similar experiences to you so will understand. It may feel a bit weird at first but you never know, you might make new friends out of this, at the very least you are going to be able to talk, be listened to and have a laugh.

I hope things get better for you soon.

iolo, a more detailed E-mail will be winding it’s way t you once i’ve constructed it in the most proactive way.Until then i’ll say all the wrong things here and now.

You’ll notice so much support on here, many have suffered and still do with those dark dark thoughts and feelings. You’re not alone, draw strength from that we’re all feeling it.

Feeling let down by the so called experts is a common reaction i think, they are trying, even if it feels not much.
Speak to the samaritains, they will do so much to help you, advice you, reassure you, be there for you, 24/7 without fail. Call them, it will will most likely be the best phone call you’ve ever made.

As many on here sadly found out, last year during my darkest of days i disappeared and went on a self help mission to find the light, a light that would banish the darkness to it own shadowy hole.

Seek out in you, those things that bring you happiness or once did, maybe as a child, a teen or a young man. Expose yourself to that experience as much as you can or need.

That could be anything, for me it was the freedom of the outdoors and nature. As mentioned, exercise is one of the most important things to expose yourself whilst feeling low, it raises you heart rate and gets the endorphins coursing through your body, giving you that ‘feel good feeling’ No need to push yourself, just sucking in loads of fresh air can do so much.

Go ride that bike,as badly as you can if that’s the case. It’s obviously a big part of who you are, so be that you.

Reading Bullhearts long old thread is uplifting and inspiring stuff, when life sucks, suck it back.

I’m not sure whether reading the beginnings of my own story would be of any benefit at this stage. But some have drawn strength from it, some were even prompted to call the Samaritans after reading it.
You clearly want to be better, so need to go down every possible avenue to find YOUR most suited way along your path to happiness. My path ended up being about 650miles long. It was long, it was painful, it was worth it.
Try not to block out friends and family, do keep those closest, close.
Avoid moaners and generally negative people. Watch feel good films and TV, no soaps or trash telly, reality garbage.

If you’re feeling low about anything, go out for a walk, a ride, remove yourself for some time from the situation that’s getting you down. Use friends to make this possible. Knowing the situation, they will understand.

Waffle over. Speak soon!

Remember it’s at least 6 weeks for the drugs to take the edge off things and help you get moving again. Changing drugs so regularly will probably start the clock again. I can’t imagine doing all this on my own with no home back-up. As someone above put it “this too shall pass”.
Tell people you know and love what is going on in your life. (Parents of a certain age may not understand the drugs part of recovery and I wouldn’t recommend using them as a sounding board if they regard anti-depressants as the devils work!) Remember the doctor can’t help properly if you hold back on what is wrong, if necessary tell the receptionist that you need a double length appointment at your next visit. My GP is a specialist in this area. E-mail me and I’ll pass his details on so your doc can find a specialist in your area.
Good luck and all the best.

another offer of a chat or email exchange. email in my profile.

Use it