Cyclists vs drivers

Let’s be clear, before we start, there are dickhead cyclists and dickhead drivers.

However, one of those two groups does and always has killed disproportionately way more people each year than the other, all the while enjoying massive support and subsidies from government(s) and a general consensus among many that they have a right to exist. The deaths caused by them are swept under the carpet and ignored and as a society we carry on as normal despite the fact we know deep down that it’s not good for the long term health of all those affected.

The drivers seem very unwilling to want to share the road with the cyclists, despite the cyclists having been there first.

A long time ago, the cyclists happily shared the roads with the few drivers that were present. The majority, for the most part, got on with each other, made allowances, used and shared the roads to go about their daily lives.

After some time the number of drivers increased and the cyclists were bullied, sidelined and even runover and killed by the ever increasing, more powerful group of drivers. The drivers were not more numerous than the cyclists, but they had bigger, stronger and more effective means of suppressing the cyclists.

As the number of drivers increased, more space was taken up by them, they needed more space to drive, park and service their cars. They no longer wanted to share the space with the cyclists who they saw as an inconvenience and started claiming the roads and the surrounding areas as their domain. The cyclists were left with an ever decreasing amount of space. The were crammed into ever smaller spaces and this was happening without many people noticing or at least seeming to care.

As time went on, the self-righteousness, the sense of superiority and most importantly the support the drivers received from governments and industry meant the cyclists were put upon.

The cyclists, who once were able to ride wherever they pleased, were restricted to ever smaller spaces and suffered massively as a result. The cyclists were seen by many as less important, weaker, backwards, even.

After a long period of being downtrodden, marginalised and made to feel inferior to the drivers some cyclists got together and organised themselves in order to make a stand and push back against power of the drivers.

This small group of cyclists would occasionally deflate some of the drivers’ tyres or scratch the paintwork of their cars.

This caused the people who were neither cyclists nor drivers elsewhere to take note. Some outside groups supported the cyclists. Other groups supported the drivers.

Unfortunately for the cyclists, the supporters and enablers of the drivers had access to superior technology. This not only enabled, but also emboldened the drivers to strike back at the cyclists with disproportionate actions.

Many of the cyclists who never scratched a car were completely destroyed along with their bikes, their workshops, the little infrastructure they had left and their families.

Sadly, despite the rest of the world knowing that drivers are bad, they stood by and watched.

(probably not)

The End.

They might be able to cut us up in a dangerous fashion, knock us off at junctions, but always remember, as a cyclist you can easily wobble their side mirror out of alignment, lift a windscreen wiper, or even open the passenger door, then easily cycle off in the other direction laughing triumphantly.

Fantastic satire, alpin (I assume/hope it is).

I find that the huge majority of road users are by and large very considerate of each other and that a binary them vs us is not helping, particularly as loads of us are both drivers and cyclists and realise that it’s far more nuanced than that.

On the other hand there are 2 small (but sadly growing) polarised minorities who really don’t help either: those drivers who hate cyclists and those cyclists who hate drivers. I don’t believe neither of their behaviours has much to do with what vehicle they use but more to do with their attitude which may reflect deeper issues in their life and ensuing low EQ, as highlighted by the OP’s satirical post.

Thinly veiled Israel vs Palestine metaphor. Quite a good one. Thread closed in….

Always important to remember that many drivers hate other drivers too.

The roads have become a microcosm of the world/country really, everyone is fighting for their own little piece of turf, terrified it’ll be taken away from them by “others”.

The new Terminator movie?