crap new car features

the whole 'auto' everything that cars seem to be heading towards as a little OTT. I can see it's raining so I put my wipers on. Oh, it's getting dark, I'll put my lights on. Too many people rely on letting their car do this for them & drive without lights when it is actually quite dull, because their car still thinks it's light enough….

Nah I've got both and disagree.

Auto wipers don't just go on and off, they adjust their speed based on how wet it is. Granted you could do this yourself if you have a variable speed dial and you're prepared to sit twiddling it for the entire journey when it's a bit drizzly out, but I'm happy to let a machine do that for me.

And auto headlights come on long before most folk have thought about switching their manual ones on. Not to mention tunnels, where many folk forget to bother.

I'd happily automate everything that distracts from actual driving.

WTF can't they heat the washer system in most cars?

Pretty sure it is on the Focus.

much better for driving on ice and snow, if you swing that way

Not sure how true that is. I've driven an auto in snow, it was a sodding nightmare. There's a reason they don't use autos in "proper" offroading too, it's called an almost complete lack of engine braking.

Pretty sure it is on the Focus.

And the 5 series bmw from as far back as 1990, if not further.

Often the washer nozzles are heated, which is pointless as the bottle usually isn't and there is no trace heating on the hoses. As a result, Fords are well known for having hose connectors pop off in frozen conditions.

And auto headlights come on long before most folk have thought about switching their manual ones on. Not to mention tunnels, where many folk forget to bother.

I have mine on auto all the time but it can be a bit annoying & embarrassing in low light sometimes following someone
In & out of tree cover they can get a bit OTT

space saver wheels &/or spray can of goo seem like pretty stupid ideas to me.

It always amuses me when I see an Audi A5 or similar with 19" wheels trundling down the inside lane at 50mph with a space saver on – it just looks wrong.

crap new car features

What are they? I drive a Defender! 😆

In & out of tree cover they can get a bit OTT

They stay on for roughly 30 seconds once you get to light bits. On the odd occasion when I'm in and out of tree cover that is optimally dark/light enough to trigger my lights on and off and is spaced at greater than 30 second intervals then I just put them on manual. 😀

GrahamS……yep, I am aware that auto wipers are not just on/off. But whenever I have had hire cars with auto wipers, they never seem to get the right speed and are either racing across the screen squeaking like mad or going too slow.
Friend of mine's last company car – a Golf – had them & he said he prefered to leave them on manual.

Only time I had auto headlights, I found they were a pain & turned them off as well.

I feel that taking too many 'tasks'away from the driver means there is a tendency for people not to think about the conditions around them & just 'let the car deal with it'.

then I just put them on manual

That would mean looking for the switch though Graham – I think I'll stay as I am for now 😀

Auto handbrake on the Passat is ace 99% of the time. Main advantage seems to be that it clears the whole centre console for storage as far as I am concerned.

The only bad thing is that it releases when it thinks you are at bite point, regardless of whether you are in gear or not. This is bad when you've been sitting in traffic on a hill with the handbrake on and car out of gear as you then start rolling backwards.

Best things in modern cars
– the lane change indicator, i.e. tap the indicator switch and it flashes 3 times instead of once.
– my gf's Seat washes, wipes then about 5 seconds later does one more sweep to deal with the dribbly bits
– stereo that adjusts volume to road speed, so you don't get blaring music when you stop or can't hear the stereo at motorway speed (less distraction for twiddlign stereo controls)
– Ford heated windscreens.

Another vote for Ford's heated windscreen when i forget to set my Galaxy's diesel preheater, i set it for half of an hour before setting off for work then at 7am every winter morning the car is defrosted and nice and warm. 😀

Only time I had auto headlights, I found they were a pain & turned them off as well.

How can lights that turn on for you if its dark be a pain? Its not like they are pointing in your eyes either so im supprised you even noticed!

– my gf's Seat washes, wipes then about 5 seconds later does one more sweep to deal with the dribbly bits

It took me a disturbing amount of time to realise you meant say-at, not seat. 😀

I must say that I rather like the auto wipers, auto lights, auto dim rear view and the heated windscreen, mirrors and washers on my car.
They all work very well.

Not so keen on the 'driver aid' stuff though, which means the steering feels weird and the brakes do things of their own accord.

i quite enjoyed the image that conjoured up as well khegs

Rear wiper that moves when I select reverse (if the front wipers are on). Generally fine until the rear bike racks are on when the wiper hits the mountings. Even if I turn off the front wipers It still has to do this once. Only way around it is to switch off the engine before selecting reverse. Stupid!!! (C Max Focus by the way.)

stato – I found them a pain as they didn't go on when I wanted them to, which makes the point of them being auto somewhat irrelevant.

Only way around it is to switch off the engine before selecting reverse. Stupid!!! (C Max Focus by the way.)

Why not install a little push switch somewhere near the wiper to isolate it when the rack is on?

It would only cost a couple of quid in bits

That would mean looking for the switch though Graham – I think I'll stay as I am for now

Umm.. the headlight switch?.. the same one that you'll have to switch all the time if you're using the headlights on manual?.. yeah I'm pretty sure I know where it is without looking. 😉

auto dim rear view

Yep, got that on my Focus too. Brilliant, especially when annoying cocksother drivers are tailgating.

Also, big up to voice control. Great for fiddling with stuff (sat nav, a/c, radio, phone) without taking my eyes off the road.

my old 1985 metro had five different speeds of intermittient wipers as well as normal and 'disco'.

I really liked that (Devon has at least twenty speeds of drizzle or rain!) and have never driven another car with it. Presumably a cheap and simple thing, (it was on a Metro!) -did they stop doing it because other people found it really annoying/pointless?

I really liked that (Devon has at least twenty speeds of drizzle or rain!) and have never driven another car with it.

I once had a car that had a totality variable wiper speed – can't remember what it was though

Why not install a little push switch somewhere near the wiper to isolate it when the rack is on?

It would only cost a couple of quid in bits

Yeah, I'm sure it would but it's just hassle. TBH the rear racks don't get much use anymore. Same thing happens if I forget to defrost the rear screen in winter too, so it's not just a bike issue. It's the only issue I do have though. Otherwise it's a good family car.

Pook – Member

passenger seatbelt not clunked warning boop. Crap if you've loaded the car up by the passenger door but no-one is sitting in it, as i often do.

BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP

You have thought of fastening the empty seat belt to stop the beeping haven't you?

I hated auto handbrake on a Focus hire care I had once, took me the entire week to get the hang of bringing up the clutch at the right time as there was a delay. I can see it working well in an automatic.

Best feature is the auto-dimming rear-view mirror I have on my new car, I absolutely love it. No more glare at night, just started noticing how useful it is now the nights are drawing in.

Pook,
Is the seatbelt warning on a ford? if it is its a doddle to turn off.

I have auto wipers and auto lights. Both are pretty useful although not essential by any means. The lights often come on earlier that I would turn them on.

I'm scared by the electronics because I hate to think how much it will cost when something breaks. Imagine the seatbelt ping never going off!

Is that true? If you need something to tell you when to change gear, you shouldn't be driving a manual transmission.

So when's the perfect time to change gear for optimium economy? How about in my car, or that hire car? I believe that is what the indicator is for – max economy. Idiot.

And Satnav is for people who dont' want to stop and pull over to check the map periodically when driving somewhere. It's really quite useful. And I am quite capable of reading maps, just not whilst driving. I would have thought that this was perfectly obvious, but then again I am always an optimist when it comes to other people's intelligence…

A glowing satnav screen is the modern day equivalent of a flat cap in the car in front – you know the driver will be an idiot. 😉

Yes I have one, no I don't use it, it irritItated the whatsname out of me when I tried it…

Auto handbrakes which are properly interfaced with an automatic transmission are FANTASTIC… they make city driving so much easier, just put into D at the start of your journey and only put into park when you arrive at your destination. Brilliant.

Auto dim rear view mirrors are fantastic inventions too.

Daves Mum (writes software for cars for a living….)

You have thought of fastening the empty seat belt to stop the beeping haven't you?

It's not so bad when you're really loading the car up, you can do the seatbelt trick. It's when you have something fairly light on the seat and then as you go round a roundabout it gives it just enough force to start beeping, then it stops and then it starts again and you get worried what's beeping until you finally work out what it is

Lots of my favs above.
Linked washers and wipers, warning sounds, when I open doors etc.
Lights that flash when I hit the remote locking
Air con full stop. Its Britain not Dubai.
Rev counters
Who looks at them?
White indicators. If they are bright enough, which I disagree with, wouldn't they be brighter with orange lenses?
Plastic bumpers meaning way more body shop work. bugger the environment then. All bumpers should be like my Landy ones. And all set at the same height.
Sat nav. Plan your route and stick it on a post it or stop. Whats the ***ing rush
Cars that don't blow up mobile phones.
"Also, big up to voice control. Great for fiddling with stuff (sat nav, a/c, radio, phone) without taking my eyes off the road"
Ban them. Phone later or write a letter.
And finally those stupid shallow tyres on things like BMWs. They don't last as long and performance is irrelevant. 10" mini tyres never failed at normal speeds.
Off to take the starter motor off my 110.

To the Mondeo and Focus owners, easy to turn off the seatbelt warning bong, just do a Google. Similarly, its also easy to activate/deactive automatic locking of the doors when you pull away.

Heated washer jets (and heated mirrors) are linked into either the rear or front heated screen (can't remember which).

Agree, the air con coming on when you set the air vents to windscreen is a pain!

Air con full stop. Its Britain not Dubai.

Err.. yes and air con deals very well with condensation when the windows are cold and I'm wet. Common problems in Britain last time I looked.

Sat nav. Plan your route and stick it on a post it or stop. Whats the ***ing rush

Right, so I'm better off squinting to read a Post-It in the dark? That sounds much safer. Will the Post-It also tell me about speed cameras, accidents and traffic jams? And will it automatically come up with another route when I get diverted?

"Also, big up to voice control. Great for fiddling with stuff (sat nav, a/c, radio, phone) without taking my eyes off the road"
Ban them. Phone later or write a letter.

I'm assuming you mean ban phones, since writing a letter to my radio to ask it to change channel seems a little bizarre. On the rare occasions I phone from the car it is usually to give my ETA (as calculated by my sat nav naturally). My wife would be less chuffed if I waited till I got there to tell her when I'd arrive.

Shouldn't you have to select them not de select them?

Mattsccm, from a pedestrian point of view I'm all in favour of plastic bumpers rather than the defender style ones, more bodyshop work (don;t see the point of colourcoded ones), but safer for us serfs who don't have a car. As the landrover bumper sticker goes, "your car is my crumple-zone".

Adaptive cruise control. When you do have the rare occasional for using CC on a empty motorway in the UK CC is fine but adaptive CC gives you so much distance between you and the car in front that you get cut up. Completely useless on the M25.

TV's in the front of cars – useless – and yes I've seen people watching them on the M25 in the morning.

More automation = less thinking, which is perhaps a mixed blessing.

Modern drivers don't need to advance the spark timing using the wee rotary lever on the steering wheel any more. Low fuel, bulb failure, ABS malfunction and low oil pressure warnings are all sensible. ABS, ESP, HBA are surely a good thing for most people, most of the time as drivers don't need a cool head and considerable skill in a panic situation. Auto dimming mirror also excellent, as are auto dipping side mirrors when reverse is selected.

Auto wipers, lights and handbrakes are potentially dangerous as they obligingly operate even if it isn't safe to do so. Spots of mud on the windscreen sensor? Say bye bye to your view past the splatter and hello to an opaque brown smear. Entering an underpass as someone wants to change lanes in front of you? Your car will obligingly light up, momentarily giving an impression that you are inviting them out. Accidentally hit the accelerator while parked in D? Off goes the parking brake and off you go towards whatever is in front.

Before someone says that none of these things will happen, they all have. Most notable was the handbrake scenario, which resulted in a road death. This wouldn't have happended with a mechanical handbrake.

What price convenience?

You can't automate past stupidity.

Our Verso. Has factory DVD player & head-rest screens. Trouble is every time you start / stop the engine the DVD switches off. Total PITA.
Push-button start is a pain also, having to depress the clutch to start can be a pain but is safer I guess.

I drove my mates M5 on Sunday morning and it had a head up display which was ummm interesting.
It also had mroe computing power that most data centres. But on the +side it also had the M button which gave it an extra 100bhp. Apologies to those people on the M4 on Sunday AM when i activated it – the advantage of not having a UK license !