Buffet Slayers

If there is a business lunch at work where any leftover sandwiches are put in the canteen do you have a person who will go in and take the lot?

Death is too good for some people.

No, but you have just reminded me, this might be the current situation….

PS

I bloody love Buffet the vampire slayer

I got bread pudding

This was me when I worked in London and went through a phase of cycle commuting from St Albans. 50 miles a day.

I was absolutely useless at work and hoovered up every free food item in sight.

I won’t take the lot, but I find more resons to go in there when theres buffet left overs hanging around….

leftover sandwiches

Not sure I understand the concept.

Not many sarnies here, it’s usually just steaks and some garlic

I’ve worked in several businesses over the years and a universal constant is that if you require food disposal, ring the IT department.

I bloody love Buffet the vampire slayer

There’s a podcast where a couple are rewatching BtVS and commenting on it. It’s called “Buffering The Vampire Slayer” which is simply joyous.

@cougar2 ‘s post reminds me that my preference was to book the meeting room adjacent the IT department not only for quick borrowing of leads/adaptors (usually for visitors) but also for the ease of depositing leftovers.

Our Boardrooms and meeting rooms always have a decent selection of multipack chocolate biscuits in them, it takes me so much longer fixing conferencing equipment issues than it should…

@andrewh bravo, don’t you mean stakes and garlic?

Didn’t some poor cleaning lady get sacked for eating left overs by some corporate entity?

to book the meeting room adjacent the IT department… for the ease of depositing leftovers.

A not uncommon conversation might go,

“Can you nip upstairs and have a look at this problem for me?”

“Sure, but I’m just in the middle of…”

“I have doughnuts.”

“I’ll be right there, and so will my apprentice.”

It’s always either plain brown or plastic white bread sandwiches, not decent granary or sourdough or even rolls. Standard fillings are shredded cheese and Tuna Mayo. There’s always half a brown bread triangle and cheese left at the end and the edge of the brown bread has started to go hard.

What’s on offer for lunch pudding?

On a similar vein, I work with a tiny bloke in the London office who deliberately doesn’t eat for 2 days prior to a work lunch/dinner/conference.

I have never seen someone so small and slim eat so much. It’s unbelievable how much he can pack away when someone else pays for it

 50 miles a day.

I was absolutely useless at work and hoovered up every free food item in sight.

I only do 7 miles each way and already known within a year for non stop eating! Mind you when I did four miles each way it wasn’t much different. On the plus side am capable if work… so don’t nead to rely on hand outs.

If there is a business lunch at work

Shudders at the thought

That would have been me and my old forestry team clearing the place out. Quite often come prepared with empty lunch boxes to make the most of being dragged away from the trees. Think it was well known that we wouldn’t turn up to these meetings if there was no food.

Once we were first to the buffet and loaded our plates expecting more to be brought out but turned out to be a very light lunch for anyone at the back of the queue and we didn’t get seconds.

I used to hoover up all the fruit. And if I had any influence on the actual order, there’d mysteriously be too much fruit ordered

Very lucky where I work, we have breakfast laid on when in the office so muesli, fruit and yoghurt, and I’ll have a couple or three pieces of fruit out of the basket as long as it isn’t running low when I hit it. We had a presentation with lunch laid on last week, there might have been twelve of us there sharing an ostentatiously generous lunch – not gonna go crazy in front of a partner, obvs, but half the remnants made it to our floor and I gorged – gorged – on tuna mayo sarnies and grapes all afternoon. Checked the invite and about 90 people had accepted, hence the slight over-order of food…

Good day, that. 🙂

Not many sarnies here, it’s usually just steaks and some garlic

Stakes and garlic, Shirley?

Very lucky where I work, we have breakfast laid on when in the office so muesli, fruit and yoghurt, and I’ll have a couple or three pieces of fruit out of the basket as long as it isn’t running low when I hit it. We had a presentation with lunch laid on last week, there might have been twelve of us there sharing an ostentatiously generous lunch

Do you actualy do any work? also, do you have any open positions 🙂

Very lucky where I work, we have breakfast laid on when in the office so muesli, fruit and yoghurt

Do you work for Gwyneth Paltrow? Not only is that not something I recognise as breakfast, I’d say it falls under the UN definition of cruel and unusual torture

Where I work, if they said they’re going to have ‘breakfast laid on’ and walked in with some muesli, fruit and yoghurt and there were no sausage and bacon butties then you’d have a riot on your hands and you’d be lucky to make it out alive

Do you actualy do any work? also, do you have any open positions ?

Oh, the free lunch thing is a rarity – we on the IT floor might have a few sandwiches a couple or three times a year if there’s any left over from a client meeting, this was a one-off bonanza. 🙂

The free breakfast and fruit thing is nice, though, bit of an incentive to get into the office. 🙂

Another ‘breakfast provided’ employer here, along with fruit, biscuits and sweets (and booze on a Friday afternoon). Though this isn’t as good as it used to be as we aren’t allowed to have a toaster in the office anymore (some halfwit at another company we share the building with kept setting the fire alarm off with theirs. Always one that ruins it for the rest of us…) Then we have various suppliers in up to 3 days a week (there’s a big waiting list) who are all keen to impress by providing lunch from one of the many outlets in the centre of Leeds.

Doesn’t suck to work here, though we joke that everyone puts on a stone in the first year of joining, I’m proof that it’s not a joke…

Stakes and garlic, Shirley?

If you have to explain the joke…

Doesn’t suck to work here, though we joke that everyone puts on a stone in the first year of joining, I’m proof that it’s not a joke…

I spent 6 months working at the head office of a certain northern supermarket (the one that makes Waitrose look a bit povvy). We’d get emails saying ‘we’re trying out new *insert name of gorgeous food* recipes, so if you’d like to pop down and try some and give us your opinion. The canteen was heavily subsidised so you could get a full (very nice) breakfast for a quid.

On top of that, we’d do photoshoots for the recipe cards/magazine where a professional chef would cook something amazing, we’d photograph the culinary masterpiece they created, then they’d say ‘you can have that if you want it’

My waistline has never recovered

That same supermarket is one of our offices bigger customers, the account manger has given similar accounts from onsite meetings. Bastard.

We started getting fruit baskets at work. Due to its popularity we ended with a massive fruit fly problem.

how big are we talking? small dog size?  Jeff Goldblum size? 3 door hatch size?

Just heard that a “buffet for 10” is somewhere in the building.

I hope I get to it before our Engineering department do.

I’ve worked in several businesses over the years and a universal constant is that if you require food disposal, ring the IT department.

I work in the IT department. Can confirm.

We had one colleague at the last company who got a particular look about him when free food was detected in the building. He was like the early warning and a few of us would up and follow tentatively to see what he had discovered.

Known as the IT gannets and had zero shame.

He was like the early warning

Consider also, some IT departments may have extra rights to email over regular staff. It wouldn’t be uncommon to have “mail to all” or “mail to office” privileges in order to send out notifications of maintenance and suchlike. So what does a regular user do to notify the office that there’s free food? They email IT to forward the message on…

Im debating about setting up a camera in the canteen…..

We have something worse!

Someone with questionable hygiene who likes to rumage around thier body in front of people, cleaning one ear by using cotton bud, then licking it and sticking it in the other ear, picking thier nose and eating it, scratching themselves in intamate areas etc.. (through thier clothing thank god!)

When it comes to buffets we try and get in front of them! so many times we have seen them pick something up then change thier mind and put it back!

I bloody love Buffet the vampire slayer

A steak through the heart?

Mrs Binners works for an environmental charity. They would put out an email titled CODE RED! for the office staff to get to the buffet food before the tree surgeons and outdoorsy people with proper physical jobs arrived and decimated the lot, like human vacuum cleaners

Nurses are very good at hoovering up biscuits and chocolate.  Christmas time we got loads – a constant open tin on the desk for weeks.   There is a reason why you see so many overweight nurses