Blackpool

thanks muke! 😆

cos it was more about the company and having a laugh, not really about where the place was!

yeah but, Blackpool…….

some people just don’t pay attention.. tsk tsk tsk!

I somehow don’t think I’ll be seeing much daylight to come across any donkeys as it looks like I shall have to drink A LOT to forget where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to at night! 😯

I Google imaged Blackpool and the donkey was image no 16. This is image no 6..

pure class! 😆

It’s not “funny” bad – just in case you’re a southerner who’s never been there and are thinking it’s a bit like a northern Brighton or Margate or something. It truly cannot be compared with anywhere else in the UK.

Try to avoid food (not 1 restaurant worth paying for food in, but lots of chip shops, some of which won’t give you botulism) and most hotels (the best hotels are not good, the worst are spectacularly bad). Expect to be turned away from many pubs and clubs for not being a local, and keep out of the way of the gangs of fighting-drunk tourists roaming the streets cos they’ve not been let in any pubs or clubs either and are now filled with anger.

You need to be armed with the name of a local pub in case the bouncers suspect you are actually a holiday-maker. Blackpool bouncers generally frown on holiday-makers, as they’re the ones roaming the streets angry and drunk causing trouble you see?

On the positive side, the Pleasure Beach is quite safe since they secured all entrances with airport style metal detectors and staff doing body searches. The wild mouse ride on the pleasure beach is highly recommended. It really feels like it will fall apart, the car you’re in will fly off the tracks or you’re going to be de-capitated by being slammed at head height into girders, but none of this ever happens so stick with it. Great ride, proper adrenaline rush, you feel lucky to be alive at the end.

I’d just stay on the wild mouse for the duration of your visit if I were you.

The only good thing to come out of Blackpool is the M55. Honestly, it’s a shitehole. I used to work just outside and occasionally had to venture in to pick up parcels etc. One feels like one needs a shower after just driving through that place.

Went for a night out there last summer, had tickets to see Jimmy Carr so though we’d make a night of it. Dined at a restaurant called Septembers Brasserie which was surprisingly good and thankfully free from the stag and hen parties.

Tried to find a decent bar afterwards but there was nothing. It’s just full of rotten-toothed, badly-spelt-self-inflicted-tattood Scottish chavs dressed as Buzz Lightyear. Utterly hideous. Went in a bar with a glass dancefloor in which commando chav-ettes are enouraged to dance whilst an assembled throng of paedophiles and morons stand beneath and squint through the beer-stained, chewing gum-bespecked, vomit-soaked glass.

Saw 2 people throw up whilst we were in there for all of 1 drink! Ended up jumping in a cab to Preston.

Poulton-le-Fylde is very nice though, and only a 5 minute train ride from Blackpool. Lots of nice bars and restaurants and no Scotch chavs.

Hopefully this is still there, only thing worth seeing

thunderbird rocket

Maybe the only other positive thing about Blackpool is that it makes the rest of the UK seem much better.

Looks like the best ride is the train, coach or car leaving Blackpool 😯

i’ll make sure i stick to vege food then

you’ll be lucky to find any. the only food places i’ve ever seen were junk food take aways (a bit of limp lettuce with your kebab if your lucky.

still the food around the pleasure beach (like Coaster’s american diner near to the south entrance of the PB is quite nice)

snowslave – stay on that Mouse for more than one ride let alone a weekend and you’ll be pi**ing blood for a month but you won’t care because the brain damage will be permanent. It has to be tried though, I liken it to having a gorilla bounce you up and down in your seat while another hits you round the head with a length of 4×2. It’s been running for 50 years now so you can’t be too surprised if the locals are a little odd. It’s also my home town but we left in 69 before the real decline set in. I’ve ended up in Brighton now which I wouldn’t change but we did enjoy a weekend back in Blackpool at the end of last year. It was my parents 50th wedding anniversary so we all went back just to see the place and take the kids to the pleasure beach and the illuminations which they loved. Unless your into roller coasters though and want to go and ride some of the best wooden ones in the world then it hasn’t got a lot going for it. And if you do like roller coasters then make sure you do the Grand National as well as the Mouse and sit in the back. The gorilla puts down his length of 4×2 and kicks you in the arse instead. My 7 year old boy just managed to squeeze out the words “I’m dead” as we went on that one.

Please take heed of all the advice above. Cesspool really is as everyone describes. i have a sister that runs a boarding house over there. god knows why. the place has no soul. once you have walked 2 streets back off the prom it is the worst kind of under developed, neglected housing estate you will ever witness.

As for the shopping head to the winter gardens and sample the few high street stores that can be found in any town. Then dont leave them as this is as good as it gets.

good luck (and dont forget to get your shots before you venture in)

Lived near-ish (30 miles) to BP for many years, during the day its just the same as any seaside resort, only a bit tackier. Couple of nice fish and chip shops about. However I’d not stop there for food or a night out, mainly due to its reputation, but I know plenty of people that do and have no problems at all. Certainly doesnt really have anything to offer other than a beach and a candy-floss source. Its nice for a quick wander down the beach on a sunday evening.

Don’t go!! you might not live to regret it.

Well I’ve decided not to go! Thanks guys 😆

I think you should go and keep a journal of events in the eyes of someone who’s never been there before. That would be a great read. In fact do it on yer bike, then it might get published in the mag?

Last Summer we all went to Blackpool pleasure beach. ALL the blokes were bigger than me with hands like shovels. The girls all had a mean-glint in their eyes and even a grannie tried a distraction mugging on mrshora. It wasnt until I sidled up and said grannie realised and moved on.
I wouldnt go back there even if I got lost. Somehow I’d magically veer away

Le Ponderosa- we’ve got two Ja-kutsi’s and its run by Frank Hoss!

Well I’ve decided not to go!

No Aleigh, you should go! Don’t live your life through the dubious experiences of this miserable lot! I bet half of them haven’t been anyway. Go and have fun, you know it can’t be as bad as they’ve made out.

It’s not the fount of all knowledge on here as I was led to believe, it’s the fount of all people who think they have all knowledge…..

think you should go and keep a journal of events in the eyes of someone who’s never been there before. That would be a great read. In fact do it on yer bike, then it might get published in the mag?

Drunk and in charge of a bike…….?! Perhaps that’s not a good idea!

….The gorilla puts down his length of 4×2 and kicks you in the arse instead……

Lol. That is a truly fantastic piece of descriptive writing.

I almost cried with laughter when I read that as I know exactly what you are on about.

annabanana – My dad lives down the road from the place. My brother worked on the pleasure beach. My wife comes from Blackpool, her dad has lived there all his life. My sister went to college there for a while. One of my mates was a bouncer there. I used to go to nightclubs there for a while, I know lots of people that live there so I visit a lot.

None of these descriptions are unreasonable – even the people that live there agree!

Aleigh – I’m dissaponted – I think you should go.

A lot of what has ben said is true, its run down, tacky, lots of chavs – but I’ve been loads of times and stayerd over (usually for gigs at the empress) and not been glassed or mugged. If you’re out with a group of friends up for a laugh, you’ll have fun – then you can slag off the place with the rest of us based on experience. Everyone needs to experience Blackpool at least once.

it stinks of fry-ups

the tower lounge is an experience you must go through, i have never seen so many people between midday and 5pm get so wasted.

but what sums it up was the woman who run the hotel, i quote ‘roughly’ when we arrived

“you can drink what you want, swear as much as you want, shag anything you want but you must NOT bring back any food!”

to be honest i did have a laugh, but i was happy when the mini bus pulled off and we left on the sunday night.

the place needs a serious makeover, the highlight was finding some really old arcade games.

It’s not the fount of all knowledge on here as I was led to believe, it’s the fount of all people who think they have all knowledge…..

That’s quite possibly the most insightful thing that’s ever been said on here.

I’ll leave the ladies to it, I’d rather go out on my bike 😆

The delightful and charming (and now banned) AdamG / Snigletrack is a resident of Blackpool IIRC – certainly his dubious creative services company are based there.

So if you don’t go you won’t have the opportunity to potentially meet this icon of STW!

Oh and Lytham and St Annes which are next to Blackpool are quite respectable places.

Apparently Hitler gave orders not to bomb Blackpool as he wanted it to remain intact so he could holiday there

Says it all really!

Zee vill nicht bomberstaffen Schartzpool, jar!

If he was alive I can’t think of a better reason for him to be tried for crimes against humanity for not bombing it ….