Bike Mechanic Simulator 2023 – say goodbye to the real world

It’s not so long ago that we had a Forum thread where someone asked advice on starting a bike shop, and the almost universal response was ‘don’t’. Now …

By stwhannah

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Hopefully that won’t be used by people to train for the real thing – it looks like the allen keys and chain splitter go the wrong way to loosen/tighten – it isn’t righty-tighty and lefty-loosey in that video!

I assume the final screenshot in the report is Saturday Assistant at Halfords level, with the rear reflector mounted on the front fork?

Isn’t this about 6 weeks late?

@Matthew_Hornby lol. I wonder if you can cause chaos by putting the brakes on the wrong/right way round and the forks backwards?

Hopefully there’s a hidden achievement for re-creating the @northwind gnarpoon…

There’s hundreds of these “simulators” on Steam being churned out over the last few years. They look nice in the screenshots but all use the same template.

“Take care of various bicycle types!” is an enticing strapline for sure.

If anyone’s genuinely interested in becoming a bike mechanic, maybe drop your nearest bicycle co-op or bike recycling project a line, sign up as a volunteer, and go do it in the real?

https://singletrackworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/back-from-the-dead-our-bike-shop-doesnt-run-like-yours/#comments

They should include a Halfords special that’s lain in a shed for 6 months. That will be the hardest test of all. Crank the frustration level up to 11.

They should include a Halfords special that’s lain in a shed for 6 months. That will be the hardest test of all. Crank the frustration level up to 11.

Fix this £75 bike for at least 50% less than it originally cost or the owner won’t pay for it. If you can’t/won’t then their one legged dog won’t be able to get to the ICU to keep their dying relative company and they’ll lead a campaign on Facebook and twitter to cancel your business because you killed their 130 year old gran.

dyna-ti
Free Member

They should include a Halfords special that’s lain in a shedoutside for 6 months. That will be the hardest test of all. Crank the frustration level up to 11.

More representative of my experience

That is the most elaborate April fools joke in the bike world ever… which explains why it was released over a month late.

Now if it really does simulate “the career of a bicycle mechanic;”… we can expect it to feature, poverty, ruin, shitty rented accommodation, divorce, grey hair in your 30’s, no pension, bad knees, constant complaining about whatever is the next new thing you have to work on, destitution and deprivation.

Now if it really does simulate “the career of a bicycle mechanic;”… we can expect it to feature, poverty, ruin, shitty rented accommodation, divorce, grey hair in your 30’s, no pension, bad knees, constant complaining about whatever is the next new thing you have to work on, destitution and deprivation.

you also HAVE to play it on a Saturday and Sunday or you lose

Don’t forget the ‘Loose Pedals Innit M8’ DLC for extra hilarity! Is it the pedal axle, the (square taper, obvs) crank bolts or the BB that’s forked? Oh, it’s the BB? You’ll need all of the BB Tool DLCs as well in that case because the normal length tool won’t work on ISIS BBs and they both don’t work on HT2 BBs and the old HT2 BB tool won’t fit the new XT HT2… 🤣 You did unlock the ‘blowtorch’ back on level 2, didn’t you? No? Oh, you’ll need that too- back you go!

Fix this £75 bike for at least 50% less than it originally cost or the owner won’t pay for it. If you can’t/won’t then their one legged dog won’t be able to get to the ICU to keep their dying relative company and they’ll lead a campaign on Facebook and twitter to cancel your business because you killed their 130 year old gran.

If you refuse that job then the grandson that looks like Bluto from Popeye comes round and the game suddenly turns into a beat-em-up.

Is 9th May the new 1st April.
This HAS to be a joke, right ?

Oh no, those bolts loosening and tightening has really triggered me 🤣 , I mean could they not have got any form of sponsorship either?

I’m not interested in that at all, doesn’t look like it’s been made by people that really know the industry if you ask me…

Ultimate cheat code, IAMANENGINEER, then everything is possible and everyone else is wrong, even if it is still broken and can’t be fixed.

Ultimate cheat code, IAMANENGINEER, then everything is possible and everyone else is wrong, even if it is still broken and can’t be fixed.

In all caps too, that’s a nice real-world touch 😆

Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.

This would be cheaper than my current plan though, as I am an engineer (degree and 20 years in industry), and have just purchased a real bike shop! (I have worked across multiple bike shops in the past, including being a Saturday boy at Halfords, so not totally blind) Also just to cap it off, just fixed my neighbours “that’s not a chain, it’s a rusty bar” Halfords bike for about 50?% of it rrp.

Ah well what can go wrong…….