Best and worst bike names EVAH!

Best: Apollo Creed

Worst: BMC TF01 Trailfox

Yours?

Worst: ‘Cove %’

Any XS size bike with Giant written on it

My road bike frame is called ‘Kelvin’. To be fair it’s an Issac Kelvin (Issac being a spin off company of Principia) so I can see where they were coming from but it’s still a bit crap.

currently it’s the Airborne Pathogen

Cube ‘Agree’.
Must sound exotic to those Germans

and I acknowledge where you got the BMC name from!

Mmmbop

Best: Raleigh Rave or Raleigh Lizard……

Airborne Pathogen

Like :thumbs:
+1 for any cove

my offerings for next best worst:
Banshee Whale (fatbike obvz)
Cotic Sofa (what the rocket should’ve been)

Salsa Horsethief

Salsa Beargrease

Awesome.

Specialized Roubaix

I like some of the Giant’s names.

Reign
Glory
Anthem.

Full of win. But the best ones have to be

Santa Cruz Bullet (but I’m not sure that’s how they spell it)
Bottlerocket.

Those are proper mountainbike names.

Raleigh Dirtcross, was a rare thing, good name, shit bike!

Look!

Winner: Intense Uzzi

Worst: Any Trek with just numbers.

Vauxhall Adam

humu humu nuku nuku apua

Bronson.

Horrible.

Anything with disc in it’s name with disc brakes. We can see.

Arguing about pronunciation go the Giant Defy also makes me think they should change it’s name.

I have to go with Specialized sentence long bike model names.

For instance, there are 11 Stumpjumpers hardtails! 🙄 WTF is the difference between:

– S-Works Stumpjumper HT World Cup
– S-Works Stumpjumper 29
– Stumpjumper Marathon Carbon HT
– Stumpjumper Expert Carbon HT World Cup
– Stumpjumper Expert Carbon HT
– Stumpjumper Comp Carbon HT
– Stumpjumper EVO HT
ad nauseam…

And the above doesn’t include the 11 full suspension Stumpjumper bikes and 3 framesets! 😯

They must have a supercomputer to keep it all straight! 😉

JoeG, go and look at Cube Stereos, your brain’ll explode.

Rose Bikes have all the best names. They’re also the worst names. Granite Chief, Count Solo, Jabba Wood, Root Miller, Crystal Stoke, Uncle Jimbo…

And my personal favourite, The Duchess 6!

My Faves,
Rocky Mountain Slayer
Santa Cruz V10
Dialled Alpine
Nukeproof and Intense (for the brand names rather than the model names)
Commencal Meta

Worst,
Any Gary Fisher
Anything with lots of numbers in
Cube Attention

Never owned a Kona but I’ve always loved the names Kona uses; some examples:

Sex
Stab
Stinky
Kikapu
Wo
Big Kahuna
and supposedly the longest bike model name ever: Humuhumu-Nukunuku-Apu’A

glynn

JoeG, go and look at Cube Stereos, your brain’ll explode.

Yes, Cube is up there as well. There are 12 Cube Stereos; 9x29ers and 3x650b. At least Cube doesn’t use the same name for hardtail and full suspension…

Best has to the Dogs Bolx from Chas Roberts

Best and worst. BFe.

Nukeproof is my most hated brand name… Just lame.

I forgot Dave Yates D.o.n.k.i.s. K.n.o.b. – classic 2 fingers to Chas!

Kobe Ti or the famous Ibis Handjob from the 1990’s with little hand shaped cable stop for the rear cantilever brake.

Best ‘Uncle John’

🙂

I like the specialized classics, Stumpjumper, epic etc. The system of expert/pro etc is good for letting you know where you stand in the range.

My favourites though are Vassago, Bandersnatch, Jabberwockey – I like how they roll off the tongue 🙂

Worst – Numbers

Fat Chance “Yo! Eddy”

😉

Best: Niner SIR.9

Worst: Raleigh Bunty

I used to work at ToysRUs years back and they had some cracking names, 18″ Black Invader been one of them.

Best

Maverick then personalised name for the frame

Dogs B from Chas Roberts

Yo Eddy

Worst any gun related.usually USA made

Tomac Magnum/Revovler
Intense Uzzi

Best: Orange Ms Isle (what can I say, I’m a fan of puns)

Best = Fat Chance Yo Eddy or Orange Clockwork.

Not Best = Any boring set of numbers.

Mountain Goat Whiskeytown Racer

Hands down the best bike name ever

Canfield Jedi; not just the name either, a groundbreaking design to go with it.

Evil Sovereign ditto

(By coincidence, I happen to own these 2 😉 )

Going back a long way:

Off Road Toad… one of which was the 1st bike I ever saw with disc brakes.