Anyone here been in a relationship(/ex) with a narcissist…?

I felt devastated to leave, for my kids mainly, and I still miss our ‘family’, despite how dysfunctional and unbalanced it was.

…I thought I could ‘fix’ her, by doing everything I thought I was supposed to as a husband, and father. The problem is, these types will never ever be satisfied, and even worse they’ll simply resent you more.
Everything I did, was met at best with indifference, at worse with humiliation and sometimes public belittlement. Every conversation was centred on her…

I just sit here reading this, tears streaming…! Too true..

Again, thank you so much all of you commenting in here.

DrP

Yes, one was the mother of my two kids and I jumped in to another very similar relationship straight after.

The two posts you have quoted above kinda sum things up as to how it was for me.

Now I am in a good place and my kids open up to me about the same things. I can’t control it, but I can manage things through my actions and responses.

Hope you are doing ok mate, it’s a rough ride but things do get better.

Her names not louise is it OP?

So many good people here have said so much and given such great advice and shared experiences I just want to add something and forgive me if it doenst add any value to the ongoing convo.

Coming out of something like that a person can feel so broken and damaged and a shadow of their former self. It can be hard to reconnect with the world and care abut things and be engaged again in a meaningful way with other people. For those who find themselves in that position and are often questioning the point of making any effort with anything please understand that you wont always feel this way.

I often felt like I had given up on everything. It took me time to accept that it was only because of the c@)#p I had to deal with for so long that left me like this. Once I was able to examine it in the light of day with decent trustworthy good people around me and finally getting back to finding things for myself. Focussing on what gives me joy in this life and this world that I could start to lose some of that bitterness and negativity that was inflicted on me. Believe it or not biking is one of those simple joys I reconnected with and that’s oddly what brought me here to this forum,(but for other reasons, not so positive hahahaha)

long story short, chin up, I promise you will be happy again and things will be joyful and good, you really just have to be prepared to believe it can be and want it to be and seek the people who bring you positivity and you will make it happen.

Everything I did, was met at best with indifference, at worse with humiliation and sometimes public belittlement. Every conversation was centred on her, and her needs.

Reading this and other comments makes me think so … and I didn’t even realise it was a “thing”.

edward2000

Member
Mooman- the difficult it due to the very nature of the disorder, convincing the subject to undertake a test for NPD is pretty much impossible. In other words, there are probably a vast amount of people who have NPD but will refuse to seek a diagnosis.

There are a variety of methods of identifying a PD; a test similar to the numerous online ones is just a small part of getting a real diagnoses of a PD … self report type questionnaires are notoriously unreliable; and probably one of the worse types to base a diagnoses on for someone with a PD.
Whilst I agree there will be a vast amount of people with undiagnosed PDs … it does seem most here are trying to explain a bad relationship on a mental disorder.