[Closed] Any good office practical jokes?

Riding 2 abreat down a dual carriageway at 6 mph.

Drivers always see the funny side!

You did say orifice, didn't you?

take a screenshot on a colleagues computer of their normal desktop background full of icons, task bar etc etc. set it as the background then hide the task bar, icons etc and sit back as they try clicking on a jpeg to get things to open.

Remove ball/Tape over the optical sensor on the mouse.

Take a screenprint of someone's desk top.
Move all Icons to a folder, ideally in the same location with the same name as an existing one.
Set desk top image to be the screenprint of their desk top.
Hey presto - Clicky fail!

Swap the mouse button functions so it works left-handed.

Damnit! Beaten to it by Philomena!

ctrl-alt-left arrow (or right, or down) to rotate the desk top.

CTRL-ALT and the arrow buttons always used to rotate the screen view in Windows.

Edit - dang.

disconnect the brake fluid pump of your colleague's car
Take all but one screw out of the banister on the top floor of the office stairs, spread fairy liquid on the edge of the top few steps
Bleach in the water cooler
Rig a remote activation device to a powder fire extinguisher hidden in a filing cabinet so it goes off in their faces when the drawer is opened.

a laff a minute.

sorry flashy!

if your computers sit back to back in the office swap the mouse cables so you plug your mouse into the back of a colleagues computer... ideal if they're USB and you can leave theirs plugged in, gently and slowly moving it about whilst they retain some kinda control 😀

These are great keep em coming.

If anyone is drinking from a tin can, punch a small hole in it 2 cm below the mouth piece and watch it dribble all over them

Ones I did once:

Copy the desktop and create it as the background. Remove icons and start menu.
Leave a post it note for a manager to call C.Lyons (number for Bristol Zoo)
Leave a post it to call Liz (number for Buckinham palace)

Get your balaclava on and kidnap one of your colleagues at gunpoint! bundle them into a car and take them to a deserted location and torture them.

Alternatively, do The Office thang and set their staplers etc in jelly

[img] [/img]

CS spray in Billy's sandwiches is always popular in our office.

Can't help but think of this.

Rubbing a black ink pad on the back of a black mouse used to be popular at my work until they got rid of the ink pads

[url= http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/sysinternals/bb897558 ]BSOD Screen Saver[/url]

Smear fairy liquid (or oil if you can get it) on the toilet seats.

Have a Bobby Sands style dirty protest on someones desk

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

attached a mouse to the back of my mates pc (on my desk). Wiggled it occasionally. As soon as he called someone over to look, the wiggling stopped. Went on for about 2 weeks before we told him

Not really an office jape, but when i used to be a chef, our restaurant manager didn't stop going on about his new car, so we got a 80 litre plastic bucket, attached his car keys on a piece of thread from a wooden dowel across the top, filled it with water and placed it in walk in freezer.

At the end of the night we handed him a metre high block of ice with his car keys in the middle and went home!

Office jousting (waste paper baskets on head optional.)

shaving foam / gel / sommat sticky on the telephone ear piece and phone 'em up

The year before I joined they had races around the shop floor on swively chairs after the store closed on christmas eve

Another classic was to shorten the cord of the telephone and then ring them up from across the office and watch the phone smack them in the face.

pilfered from FHM - office longjump

find an doorway that can be covered with parcel paper or similar, dark enough to not be transparent.

tell your colleague the game is to jump from behind the paper and land as far as they can from the door.

do this for a few days, recording results on the floor using marker tape

tell him that today is "the big one" and to make a special effort for this jump.

close the door.

NB. anyone daft enough to try this accepts all liabilities for the damages that will occur...

Tradition states that whoever gets a certain guy (Craig) in my office in the secret santa dip has to buy him something total crap or a wind-up present

[b]2008[/b]

He'd been trying to sell a rabbit cage for ages on our intranet. He was asking for £20. My boss then got him in the secret santa and got someone else in the company to buy the rabbit cage but managed to barter him down to £10 with a sob story about buying it for her niece and all she could afford was a tenner. Craig spent weeks moaning about this and he was raging he didn't get the full £20 for it. The day comes along when we have to exchange presents and my boss brings in the massive rabbit cage all wrapped up. Craig get's genuinely excited when he sees the size of it and realises it's for him.

The look on his face when he unwrapped it and realised what he'd got was absolutely priceless.

[b]2009[/b]

I get him and buy him a box full of tat from the poundshop

[b]2010[/b]

I get him again and buy him a bottle of vodka. Except I've poured the vodka out and replaced it with water. All year I've been waiting on him coming in one day and saying the vodka was crap, but that day never comes...

[b]2011[/b]

My boss got him this year and bought him something crap, but I'd kept the vodka from last year and stored it in the bottle of water I'd decanted last year. He unwraps it and looks a bit puzzled as to why he's got a 3/4 full bottle of mineral water. We explain what we did and he looks a bit pale as he admits he had given the bottle of "vodka" from last year away as a present to someone else 😆

Sticky label over the laser of a mouse, or clear tape.
Change the layout of the keyboard physically and change the region settings.
Change mouse sensitivity, add mouse trails.

Empty the clippings from the office hole-punches into someone's umbrella.

Empty the clippings from the office hole-punches into someone's umbrella.

For a festive twist, put them in the vents of their car ventilation system. Set controls to max fan speed. Direct vents towards drivers face.

On starting the engine the next time they get in, hey presto, instant festive snowstorm.

Big pile of paper on someone's desk with a post-it note:
"I need this done by 5pm tonight. This deadline [u]CANNOT[/u] be extended."
Do not leave a name on the note.

mobile phone in ceiling tile. ring it.

set autocorrect to change the spelling of words automatically.

Change language settings on mobile phones to Norwegian/Arabic/Swahili etc.

Shrinkwrap their car, use several rolls. Might be a bit harsh if they're in it at the time.

@boardingbob - classic with the rabbit cage, i can imagine that would have been hilarious.

Tape up the lever on his chair that lets you move it up and down (will sit at max height then drop to the bottom when someone sits on it).

Red food colour in water cooler?
Pair of suitably un-business like pants/knickers as (in)appropriate in someone's top draw or regularly used box file.

Change Windows log-in sound to machine gun fire/train horn/other loud scary thing. Turn volume to max. Switch off computer.

Already sort of covered....empty some of the contents of the shredder into a colleagues umbrella and then close it back up, like i did last week....it's still not rained yet!

The other one we done is filled a colleague's car with balloons when he left his car keys on his desk.

Or in the office we have tall cupboards which have 2 slidey doors that meet in the middle. Open the doors and cellotape a load of newspaper inside (so it's one big sheet) , so when they open their cupboard the next day there's a large wall of newspaper!

Automatic timer switch on the monitor for their PC, set it to randomly switch off for a minute at a time during the day.

Take a picture of your collegues favourite item them produce a fake for sale advert with picture, and post it round the building, leaving his/her extension number, or mobile number.

The upperdecker is always a good one - make an enormous poo in the cistern of the office jacks. The smell of the concealed poo will intensify over a period of Weeks and may even lead to getting time off work while the office is fumigated. Works particularly well if you happen to work in a restaurant.

Rabbit cage story is the best so far.

Slice open the wrapping on a pack of after eight, eat some, cut some squares out of cardboard and dip in melted chocolate, put it all back together, and wait.

I've done the screenshot thing on a frustrating colleague who chats too much, but it kind of backfired.

He did not notice for ages. And then one day, IT were re-installing his computer. He said he'd got fed up with the "double icons", dragging an icon to bin and an icon was left behind that he could not delete.

IT couldn't work out what was wrong so did the re-install. It was days of hassle and lost time for him, and we had to listen to the moaning.

[attack of guilts]

We do these on a regular basis, one of the more recent was to borrow a collegues new Audi A3 (he's 20 and it's his pride and joy) we then parked it down the road by a busy roundabout with a for sale sign in it (£4500) and his mobile number..

Autocorrect on the spelling for emails is always a good one, we did also clear someone's desk completely once when he was on holiday all that was left was a small box of personal effects and a rather official looking envelope on top.

I can't believe that an IT dept couldn't figure that one out! They should have been ashamed of themselves...

An extension of the hole punch clippings thing.
I once collected as many as I could find, half a box file of them. Stapled a big elastic band over the open box file, with a cardboard 'paddle/ propellor' stapled onto the ruber band. Wound it up, to the furthest tension I dared go to. Closed boxfile lid. Then sent via internal mail to the victim.

Upon opening the fan/ propellor unwinds and sprays the victim with festive snow.

I also used to work in a cartography office, with MASSSIVE cameras and similarly huge storage. I occasionally filed me into a storage cabinet and then jumped out when somebody was retrieving a map.

Possibly the best- led to a disciplinary IIRC, was when we all decided that we should book leave because we needed to go White Water Rafting. On the day that John Redwood was coming to visit.

Balls. You just can't beat the old bucket of water over the door trick. Works a treat, automatically picks a random victim and has anonymity written all over it. Wasn't me.

Loving the passed on vodka story even more than the rabbit hutch - urban legend or truth?

Totally genuine about the vodka. a whole year in the planning.

another favourite is to swap a few keys on folk's keyboards. sends them scatty and they cant work out what's going on

Really very glad to know the vodka thing is true - my lol now feels all warm inside 🙂

When I first started at [url= http://www.weatherseal.co.uk/ ]weatherseal windows and doors, dirty tricksters and scam artists (they can't touch me now, I'm INVINCIBLE)[/url] at the tender age of 22, the big joke was to pick the nastiest, sweariest, cold-called victim of the night and tell the team leader they had a shoe-in if they called back. "Oh yes Sir, you can have free winows and doors and kitchens and allsorts if we can use photos of your home in our brochure".

Sadly, it backfired on me as I was made a team leader within a week and could no longer trust my minions.

We borrowed one of those monkeys pg tips gave away, and removes it from the office. The next day photos of the monkey being tortured starting to appear on the office printer, followed by ransom notes telling the person to do various things in order to get it back, after a week or so it was returned, only after the picture the day before was a pile of fluff which was a step to far.

If you share an office or sit to close to someone else this might not be suitable, but get some fish paste or extract and rub it behind a radiator or in a draw of someone's desk once it's warmed up and fermented for a couple of days like over Christmas for instance the smell increases.

I used to go to a colleagues desk, dip the ear piece of his phone into the fax machine ink pad (for the received stamp), run back to my desk, wait for his return then ring him up!

ha ha ha black ear for the day.

Get on one of your mates computers and send an email to the whole office saying "Could the person who has borrowed my hemorrhoid cream from the fridge please return it asap"

To make it better go and buy a tube of 'anusol' and write "property of '....'" on it.

Made me laugh in my office, especially as the email went out to about 200 people

He did not notice for ages. And then one day, IT were re-installing his computer. He said he'd got fed up with the "double icons", dragging an icon to bin and an icon was left behind that he could not delete.

How was he able to drag the if it was a screenshot then?

Wrap a whole desk/office in clingfilm or foil.

Doesn't seem to royally piss anyone off though.

Staple a slice of smoked salmon to the underside of a person's desk. The smell will gradually worsen.

Take apart the victim's mobile and put marmite under the back cover. Lovely for that marmitey smell every time someone rings.

If their computer is unlocked, set their web browser to start with a homepage, then set that homepage to be thehun.net. Even funnier if work has a porn detecting proxy/firewall...

Not strictly office-based but we once painted the windscreen of a colleague's car with white emulsion when there was a heavy frost and a light dusting of snow. Oh, how we laughed.

Another favourite, when car hubcaps were tin, was to put a couple of nuts or bolts inside.

Those remote power switches from Lidls are good. Connect up the victim's PC monitor. Every now and again switch off the power. We had bundles of fun with that one.

We used to photocopy money, rough it up to make it look genuine, then leave them on the floor around the office.

One doddery old fart handed in a fake tenner to reception because he thought it was real and someone had lost it. That restores my faith in humanity.

However there's another sneaky rat that showed his true colours. I had printed off a fake note, and walked over to where I was going to drop it and did so. The guy in question came round the corner and saw the note but did nothing. I went back and sat down then 30 seconds later he reappeared and said "ah, I thought I'd lost some money" and proceeded to grab the note.

Thieving git.

I hope you punched him

So very pleased I don't work with any of you japesters.

Ho ho.

Staple a slice of smoked salmon to the underside of a person's desk. The smell will gradually worsen.

Last christmas we sellotaped a mince pie underneath a woman's desk. She couldn't understand why she always had crumbs on her lap and she kept saying "this place smells like cake"

She found it about three months after we put it there.

A bit ambulance specific I'm afraid...

we used to push coins into the steering wheel horn switch (as this operates the sirens) not immediate, but at some point the coin will fall between the contacts and bingo, on come sirens! (doesn't work with the new systems though). Likewise we'd often flick the switches for sirens on then hit the battery kill switch, as soon as someone flicks that on at 0545 it all comes on, but modern vehicle designs have stopped all that.

pulling up next to another crew, and indicating for them to wind down their window before blasting them with 20ml of saline from a syringe is quite common as is a wet drivers seat in vehicles left un locked.

perhaps not ideal for your average office though.

I've got this planned for next year when there are more people in.

When it's your birthday office convention is to bring in some cakes or biscuits and leave in the canteen by the coffee machine. Then go back to your desk and announce on email that it's your birthday and enjoy the cakes I've brought in.

But some folk are so rapacious that even before the message goes out all the best ones are taken.

So, next year i'm going to bring in a bag of cakes and biscuits and leave them in the canteen. And then wait. Until most if not all are gone. And then send out a message saying that you picked up some cakes for your daughter's birthday party later that afternoon, left them in the canteen by mistake and now someone's eaten them all.

I just want to see who fesses up.

A good one for the auto-correct jape that's been mentioned is to set "the" to auto-correct to "the sodding" (or "the f***ing" if you're feeling punchy).

A dead cert to be used plenty of times, and grammatically correct to boot!

this thread is like a window into a parallel universe

Ooh, it's my birthday next month, I'm going to try theotherjonv's jolly jape 🙂

take a screenshot on a colleagues computer of their normal desktop background full of icons, task bar etc etc. set it as the background then hide the task bar, icons etc and sit back as they try clicking on a jpeg to get things to open.

A few I've seen:

* Change one of the options for the coffee machine to 'Soylent Green'. Someone inevitably calls the supplier because the machine's run out of it.

* Take the wheels off a colleague's office chair and put it up on bricks

* Epoxy a phone's handset to the cradle

* We have an office fruit basket delivered twice a week. Get one (or more, if you have time) of the bananas and pop a pin into it. Waggle it around to cut the flesh of the banana, then place back in the basket.

* Fill desk drawers with packing peanuts

* Epoxy a pound coin to the floor

If anyone as any old crt monitors with the UV/Anti glare filters attached. Nice piece of black card behind the screen works a treat.

Unscrew phone handset and either tape over the mouth or ear piece. Then reassemble the phone. Hilarious :O)

Fresh sheet of A4 paper. Write "ugly bloke" on one side and lay it writing down in the middle of the corridor.

These are awesome.
Just tried one that isn't on here which included waiting for a colleague to use the crapper then run in and I throw a mug of water over the door...... he wasn't impressed.

Drac - Moderator

He did not notice for ages. And then one day, IT were re-installing his computer. He said he'd got fed up with the "double icons", dragging an icon to bin and an icon was left behind that he could not delete.

How was he able to drag the if it was a screenshot then?

The screen shot background was under his normal icons, which hadn't been moved. So they could be clicked, dragged deleted, but the image of the icon remained......hence 'double icons'

I guess?

A couple of times I have played a prank on some practical jokers (the sort who dish out jokes, but hate to receive them).

I printed large 'adverts' across several A4 pages and then sellotaped them to their car bumper (front or back depended on how it was parked so they wouldn't see it).
They read something along the lines of

"Beefy Scottish Sailor Offers Fun Times - call 07XXX........."

The first bloke I did this to drove all the way from Cambridge to Stevenage. Went home, got changed, went out to his local takeaway and it was only then noticed as the guy in the takeaway asked him why he had a big sign on his car.

Problem with doing this is if they know who's done it, you have to then check your front & rear bumpers for the rest of eternity....

Saw this on The Chive yesterday... 🙂

[img] [/img]