Another 'dealing with a neighbour' issue.

Is this for real?

Park on his drive.

Sorted.

Either:-
Ask them politely to move their car or, when they use their car(s) park your’s in their place, and see if they take the hint. Or, repair the damaged verge outside your house and put rocks to protect the newly sown seeds/laid grass. Or smear dogshite on the inside of their car door handles (or in the air vents). Make sure they don’t see you do it though.

Get up on his car roof, drop yer strides and drop the biggest jobby you can manage. Mind and wipe yer bum though.

1) Sugar in the Gas tank

or

2) You seem like the type….so why don’t you go a bit errr….Raoul Moat

3) Have his house raided as a drug den.

4) Vaseline on the windshield wipers

5) Super glue in the cars keyholes

6) Weld the exhaust pipes shut

This is of course, totally in jest and not to be taken seriously.

Kill them with fire until dead.

I had a complete knob neighbour in my last home. Insisted in parking his Volvo in front of my home (on street parking so no legal redress), despite him having 2 parking spaces for his exclusive use . He used the car twice a month, and would put another car in the volvo’s space whilst he used it. I even asked him nicely once to leave the space free one day when he was moving the volvo, as we had a stepson to move out. He still moved his other car into the space. This carried on for a year until he sold the car.
Some people can’t / won’t be reasonable. So we moved in the end (him being one of the contributory factors). I wont forget and I WILL have my revenge, long after he’s forgotten about me….

Here’s a nice one. Again, totally in jest. I do not condone this at all.

Get yourself a copy of the Yellow pages and go through it, highlighting every 0800 number (that way it saves you money, you can ignore this if you want to go all out) that lets you arrange a time for them to come to you house, (e.g. a double glazing quote, a taxi booking, a pizza, just use your imagination).

Then ring them all, arranging for them to all come as close as you can get to a specific time (preferably early morning), giving your neighbours name and address. Hopefully you will get enough people coming along to block the streets for miles and they will all be furious at your neighbour. Just make sure you don’t need to go anywhere. Tipping off the press will only make it sweeter.

Dont forget to withold your number first!