Annoyed at 23 yr old son for not even a thank you on mothers day !

Yet again our 23 yr old son hasn’t done anything to appreciate his mom on her special day, ive had plenty of words with him in the past over things like this and birthdays etc but still doesn’t give a s**t!
Even though he doesn’t live with us but lives up north with his girlfriend, the wife deserves at least a card or even a txt message at worst , but no not even that ! …. she says shes ok but you can tell shes upset about the whole thing but nothing changes 🙁
Our other 2 kids have been great, flowers, cards etc , just my one lad ? .. really cant work him out as hes usually close to us ..
anyone else have a son/daughter that’s ungrateful on mothers day ?

Our gang do a card and small box of choc between them, but don’t really mean it. I never bothered for my mum when she was alive and she would have been quite annoyed if I had. My side of the family just don’t bother with anything but birthdays and Christmas, it’s all a big con to spend money that would be better spent elsewhere, forced on us by the threat of guilt trips.

Surely a little appreciation isnt a lot to ask ?
My mom passed away 6 yrs ago but ive still been up the crem today with flowers and to say hello etc

I think I like your lad already.

If you all get on fine otherwise then he’s probably someone who just does appreciate those kinds of gestures. Mothers Day is a pretty odd celebration. Its not even supposed to be about your parents, the Mother in Mothers Day is your church, its about returning to the congregation you were born into, so its supposed to be a physical home-coming not a card and flowers exercise.

If he doesn’t do cards and flowers then they just don’t mean much to him – doing them because you’re meant to because of a date on a calendar would be an empty gesture. Blokes are crap at sentimental gestures anyway, blokes in their early 20s are not very sentimental, gesturey people.

celebrate the good things in life

blokes in their early 20s are not very sentimental, gesturey people.

This.

I used to be rubbish at it and feel bad now.

Doesn’t matter if it’s a “made up” event, the meaning is still real to people.

EDIT: He didn’t leave any shoes behind at your place did he?

Write him out of your will!

If you get on otherwise then I wouldn’t let an arbitrary Sunday upset you too much, if its a symptom of a wider problem, then well, its a different problem.

I am pretty poor at this stuff still as I enter my 40s but always remember the old dears birthday and mothers day, but generally forget their wedding anniversary

He sounds normal. Buying cards is a female obsession to be ridiculed and mocked.

I sometimes get a fathers day card & sometimes I don’t. Same with b/day cards.
Mums are different & get upset about that sort of stuff though, so why don’t you ‘forget’ to get him a birthday & Xmas pressie next time?

Withhold his pudding next time he visits. Obviously.

I think that you shouldn’t take it personally, kids don’t deliberately set out to be hurtful. More a case of them not thinking.

Was told on the phone late afternoon yesterday that there would be something arriving for me today. Of course guess who was going to ride today and it’s now nearly 2.45 pm and no delivery! First time ever that my kids have organised anything to be sent to me so mustn’t grumble.

her special day

Again, unless you’re of the very traditional obscure religious festival persuasion it’s a commercialised day the same as fathers day. If you’re normally very close then why does this one day have to be singled out for “appreciation”? I’d rather do something for my mum on a day that actually means something rather than spending money on a cheap card and a box of chocolates that will be forgotten about next week. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks the same way, either that or he’s just plain crap at remembering guff like this (as I am, I only realised when I read this).

FWIW if my girl tries to shove any fathers day nonsense at me I’ll stamp on all her toys. That’ll show her.

Was told on the phone late afternoon yesterday that there would be something arriving for me today.

On a Sunday? Here’s hoping you’ve not had a wasted day!

Here’s hoping squirelking! It’s probably cost them a fortune too.

FWIW if my girl tries to shove any fathers day nonsense at me I’ll stamp on all her toys. That’ll show her.

That was my approach. Cards are despicable crap and must be opposed at every opportunity.

Funny thing the greeting card industry and expectations. On the one hand; girlfriend’s rarely get owt on Valentines Day, but I’ll do the Mother’s Day thing because I know it makes her happy. But then, girlfriend’s get regular love and treats so…

Slightly off topic, but something that annoys me is the way a lot of people expect presents and stuff. A mate in his mid-thirties literally banks on his Christmas presents from his mum. He’ll say something like “Can’t wait to take delivery of my new Macbook Pro, it’s a combined birthday/Christmas present” As if that excuses the fact that he’s a spoilt little shit.

Really gets on my tits. But is it just sour grapes on my part.

Maccruiskeen and Squirrelking +1.
Just more crass commercialised bollocks IMO. Just another retail opportunity for my wife’s side of the family. FFS, my MIL even buys her daughter a “Mother’s Day” present…!

Maccruiskeen and Squirrelking +1.
Just more crass commercialised bollocks IMO. Just another retail opportunity for my wife’s side of the family. FFS, my MIL even buys her daughter a “Mother’s Day” present…!

It keeps me in a job .

sorry but mothers day is a load of crap, I would never be angry at my kids for not getting anything for their mum (when they are older). I actively discourage them for fathers day. Getting upset because you didn’t get a card and a present is quite pathetic TBH.

Nothing wrong with using it as an excuse for spending some time together. Kids can make a card – much nicer than a bought one.

Write him out of your will

We’ve agreed to ban Mothers Day here, on the proviso that more is done spontaneously throughout the rest of the year. My wife always thinks that any show of niceness on MD is just because it’s MD, and not a true reflection of their feelings.

Personally I can’t stand the day.

Nah, he’s a cock. You can argue about the made up event and commercialism all you want but if his mum would appreciate the sentiment he should make some sort of gesture – it’s not hard (or costly) to bung a card in the post or send a text. If you have strong anti commercial views start with your ‘events’ and ask people not to bother for your birthday/christmas/fathers day celebrations – not bothering for others just looks lazy or uncaring, not sticking it to the man.

Having said that I remember being late to post father’s/mother’s day cards when I was in my 20s so they didn’t get them until the following week and I’ve turned out ok, so maybe there’s a self centred phase some folk go through at that age and it’s nothing personal.

Maybe you need to just ‘forget’ his birthday this year and see if it bothers him or not. It might be he’s wired that way or feeling ignored himself might jolt him into doing the right thing.

Made up day to sell cards and keep petrol stations busy once a year

Surely better to show spontaneous appreciation than getting some tat because he’s been told to buy it

[/rant] not sure why it has to be a card.. just the act of acknowledgement and appreciation is all that is needed on the special day. After all this is for someone who presumably brought you up and looked after you when no one else did. [/rant]

on a side note I’m sure there plenty of people who equally moan when their boss doesnt acknowledge or appreciate the effort they put into their job at work ( at least they get paid for it by the employer).

I can’t abide “special” occasions. Birthdays, Christmas, Mothers Day – they are poisonous occasions when people get highly emotional, overexcited and/or depressed.
I think your boy has the right idea.

Mom? Are you American?

My wife is really angry about something today. Buggered if I know what it is. Claims nothing is wrong. Now she didn’t get anything from our son but when I asked him (he’s away at university), he reckons he has sent a card but it’s just not got here on time. He has phoned her and had a chat.

Now, what I think the problem is, that *I’ve* not wished her happy mothers day. But I wouldn’t, would I? She’s not my mum. But I think she expects me to treat her special.

Anyone else have that one?

No pudding for Samuri.

Maccruiskeen and Squirrelking +1.
Just more crass commercialised bollocks IMO. Just another retail opportunity for my wife’s side of the family. FFS, my MIL even buys her daughter a “Mother’s Day” present…!

Yes, it is commercial bollocks.

However, it makes my Mum happy. So that’s that for me.

FWIW, I never send cards. Usually arrange some sort of plant to go into the Garden.

There’s little in life more vanilla than a hallmark holiday.

I did put some effort in this year, however… Last Tuesday I taught my mum to make really nice, simple dahl

If my mum was still alive, she’d have a heart attack if I ever got her a card lol

If that’s the biggest complaint you have about your son, you’ve got off OK.

As others have pointed out it’s just more commercialised crap designed to make us buy cards, flowers and chocolates.

For the first time im 8 years I had a lie in on Mother’s day. I could get used to this being single thing. Happy days.

Bah humbug from the majority then. It is commercial BUT the key is not what the child thinks of it but what the MUM does.

Next time he returns to the roost………..hoof him in the slats 😆

Have to agree with deepreddave ,seems a lot of negative comments aimed towards a little thank you for the moms of the world ? … it is commercial crap i agree, but its just a thank you

Yup. What Dave says.

Lots of things can be reduced to meaningless marketing (new wheels anyone?), sometimes though you have to decide whether not lining the pockets of hallmark and a bit of pen ink, is worth the moral high ground, when the result is a Mum going without that card & ink, from their (now free thinking) baby.

Perspective, people 🙂