AlturaMan

Always on a slightly the wrong size, badly maintained hybrid, wearing a filthy, oily Altura hi-viz jacket, using the £25 Cateye light set that was the cheapest in the shop when he bought the bike and never, never changing gear!

And always pushing through to the front at the lights only to move off very slowly and get in everyone’s way.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

Fusspot. 😉

Remove/offset your rear mudguard and sit in front of him for a few miles.

Worse if reacts to being overtaken by overtaking you.

And the slows dow .

Or sits on your wheel.

I opened this expecting to see Flashy announcing he had forsaken the world of PostIts and started a new modelling career alongside Miss Assos. Dissapointed its just a rantette.

He owns one of those hump bag things, usually on flat pedals too.
Probably owns a £1000 hardtail from felt/cube/on-one or an aging marin full suss with bar-ends.
Works in I.T.

Does this not describe the majority of commuters who aren’t also recreational riders?

I’d also assumed that the brand association was a phenomenon specific to my locale due to it being sold in the biggest LBS but I guess it might be nationwide due to Halfords. To be fair on Altura though they do seem to make good kit if you want to be seen. Brought one of their gilets recently for night time road rides, does look a little out of place over a Castelli Gabba though.

who cares what someone else is riding/wearing?

I’ve an Altura jacket BTW and never change gear (on the SS). And am a man. I queue at the lights though

Always on a slightly the wrong size, badly maintained hybrid
– badly maintained, but a fixed road bike
wearing a filthy, oily Altura hi-viz jacket
– mine’s brand new and is orange therefore cooler
using the £25 Cateye light set that was the cheapest in the shop when he bought the bike and never
– perfectly good lights
never changing gear!
– I don’t have any

And always pushing through to the front at the lights only to move off very slowly and get in everyone’s way
– always push infront but always the quickest off

is this you?

@Flashy – he was sent by God to test your faith.

Don’t you hate it when people don’t behave the RIGHT way and wear the WRONG clothes and ride the WRONG bike! 👿

Too slim … 😉 (wink added to cover oneself)

😀

is this you?

Do you really think Flashy or anyone who knew how to to dress would do the bottom button up on a jacket?
It’s the sort of mistake somebody who thought tweed was fancy dress not practical every day wear would make.

Bugger – I have about 3 or 4 Altura tops I wear on the bike… they are probably classed as “vintage” by now mind since I bought them cheap in about 2002 at a guess!

Should I get rid of them and buy Endura now, or am I way out of touch with my brand awareness???

That guy is such a loser for spending less money on bikes than you.

like this MrSmith?

a strong look 8)
yes, i do believe that shows the bottom button undone on a jacket.

Yeah, I know the Fella I’ve seen him on my commute too, he seems to be using the very hardest gear available like some sort of resistance exercise, will always come to a dead stop for roundabouts (there’s a couple on the route) even when there is nothing coming from any direction and good visibility, and then gives me the evil eye when I cruise by with a cheery “Morning”…

It’s either some bizarre form of Torture or Martyrdom…
I assume the Panniers are just filled with Aggregate, whatever He’s trying to atone for it must have been truly terrible, I’m going to assume… Genocide…

My personal favourite is still the fella on a slicked up old Raleigh with his flapping Hi-viz, wonky old Millets rucksack, wonky lid and only ever wears old football shorts and mismatched ankle socks, who lumbers along until over taken by someone and then does his best to hold your wheel wheezing away, bike creaking for a good 3/4 mile, eventually giving up with a “AhhhhFuuucckkit!“…

Oh and the worlds slowest Time Trialist, Full carbon, Aero, Wunder-bike and pointy lid, cannot exceed 15.2Mph…

Commuting by bike is great, a whole world of “Characters”…

A job at the Daily Wail beckons for the high horse riders of this threads, some many assumptions, so many facts…

As long as they are on a bike its all good.

I agree with chunky

We are all cycling brothers and sisters

Just don’t get me started on grown adults riding on the pavement

😳 I have lots of Altura tops.

😀 by virtue of staff discount 😀

We are all cycling brothers and sisters

you wouldn’t say that if you’d seen some of the dickheads on my commute.

A job at the Daily Wail beckons for the high horse riders of this threads, some many assumptions, so many facts…

Who’s on a high horse?

I’m fully aware that I probably appear quite absurd when commuting: Drop bar Fixie, Nobber, lycra’d up to the Max with a far too cheery a disposition… the lack of gears is obviously a ready made excuse for not being very quick, the outfit screams “Wannabe Cyclist” the liberal mixing of “Brands” with Aldi/Lidl cheap tat, and The Bar bag just confuses things further, is he a tourer, an MTBer on the wrong bike? an off duty Roadie? I’m just a jumble of cycling cliche’s bound to annoy…

If I happened upon me when out riding, I’d find myself quite irritating TBH…

One Altura long sleeve jersey.
One Altura courier bag.
Two pairs of Altura gloves.
One Altura fleecy headband to keep my ears warm.
One Altura waterproof jacket (not hi-viz though).
Sometimes seen commuting on my ancient Marin.
Might grow a beard at some stage.
🙂

We are all cycling brothers and sisters

do you wave to them all when out on your dandy-horse? how do you remember all their names?

If he has ankle clips, then you should do him a favour and clothes-line him!