[Closed] 2nd Date

Oh, now this is worth another beer!

Summer Lightning, nicely chilled if anyone else wants one.

Tip - when reading the menu in a nice restaurant do not hold said menu over the candle in the middle of the table as you ramble on about something. Most menu covers are plastic. And very flamible! And jugs of water being thrown at you can go one of either way. Fortunately it went the right way for us!

Haha, Noted

Keep them coming

Let her decide where to go.

When leaving whatever establishment you end up at, and having removed your jacket, pulling the sleeve into a sort of inside out Escher tube, don't force your arm, and clenched fist through the sleeve in order to free it. Especially if your future wife's chin is at the end of the arc made by your fist breaking through the knot, rendering her unconscious!

Seriously, don't do that!

16 years on, she'll bring it up in front of her three (bigger) brothers and her mum!

If it looks like you're on for it, crack one off in the bog so you don't **** when she touches it.

After some advice, tips and funny stories of your experiences (so i can hopefully learn from them)

Get a Life ! I suppose you be asking how do you wipe your own Arss next.

Someone's a bit grumpy tonight..

Not getting any either!

Not getting any either!

Is she a nun?

Do you live near the Oxo Tower ?

Best advice for a 2nd date : Stick some googly eyes on your nob, then find the right time to show her. 😉

As soon as the barman started on about what a lovely funeral my dad had done for his Aunt Mable, I realised that going to one of the local pubs was not such a good plan afterall....

Stick some googly eyes on your nob, then find the right time to show her.

Agreed. It's the second date, it's time for your best material.

If you end up getting thoroughly wasted and decide it's a good idea to have a pretend boxing match in front of the kebab shop for the benefit of all the hungry punters inside, it is considered gentlemanly to let her catch you squarely on the jaw, thus rendering you a spongy dribbling mess on the pavement. Happily, it is considered ladylike for her to give you lots of red hot monkey sex to make up for you being knocked out in public by a girl.

red hot monkey sex

PIIHB

I think for any date make sure that [i]she[/i] is inflated properly and there are no sharp objects in the vicinity. 😉
Go and enjoy, qué será, será.

So make sure i take some super patches, and a pump, have a jug of water on standby and try not to punch her / get punched.

All this is good stuff guys, i cant possibly see what anything going wrong

wear clothes
let her know you expect the same from her

Just choke her, then she can be yours forever.

on a more serious note.......if its out for food, let her order first....never good when you order garlic and she hates it 😳

morgs - Member
on a more serious note.......if its out for food, let her order first....never good when you order garlic and she hates it

Indeed. Choosing date food has to be done carefully. No strong flavours unless you've got ample mints. Consider how talented you are with a knife and fork if you're ordering something with the potential for messiness - spaghetti is a no-no. See what she is having and order similar quantity - you don't want a situation where one of you is waiting for the other to finish.

you don't want a situation where one of you is waiting for the other to finish

You don't want that when you're eating your meal either.

Not a 2nd date story, but I had a hilariously terrible first date years ago where I puked on her shoes 😯

Obviously she either had very low standards or saw a tiny bit of potential as we did have several more dates after that 🙂

Cheers, Rich

Don't eat a 5 day old cooked sausage that was lying unwrapped in the fridge.
You may just spend the night at a friend's wedding mostly in the little boys room groaning and clutching your stomach.

That's what happened on my second date with my now husband, we hardly saw each other, but I soon made friends with the other wedding guests.

Let her decide where to go.

EEEh Oww. Girls like guys that a decisive. E.G. Were having dinner at X place, I booked it for 7 and you're gonna like it.

🙂 😉

Just choke her, then she can be yours forever

First read that an hour ago. Not stopped chuckling yet 🙂

EEEh Oww. Girls like guys that a decisive. E.G. Were having dinner at X place, I booked it for 7 and you're gonna like it.

And you're paying.

On a first date I got a meatball lodged in my throat. As in seriously lodged - ambulance called and everything. For the second date we thought a movie would be safer than eating so arranged to meet outside the Odeon. Only I got my cinemas mixed up and stood waiting outside the Cineworld instead.

Never did get around to meeting her again.

[i]EEEh Oww. Girls like guys that a decisive.[/i]

some girls are different, some girls don't like guys at all whether they are decisive or not.

😉

Don't go to a restaurant where they ask for some cash upfront because you legged it on your last visit even if it was ages ago

Never go out with a loaded weapon, so to speak. Crack one off before going. If the action kicks off early you could be in trouble mind, so wing it with some tantric or heavy petting. Yeah, that should do it.

STW speaks only the purest, universal, truths.

What tyres for a second date?

Never go out with a loaded weapon, so to speak. Crack one off before going. If the action kicks off early you could be in trouble mind, so wing it with some tantric or heavy petting. Yeah, that should do it.

moments like that were meant for 'heavy petting'

Have we mentioned flash bangs and back doors yet?

Emsz

some girls are different , some girls don' t like
guys at all whether they are decisive or not

presumably though they just like decisive girls instead which could get argumentative if universally true 😉

How did it go?

She choked him and has him forever...

2nd date, time for some mattress mumbo.

Use the old favorite, 'fancy watching a movie? Don't get any ideas though, I'm not that easy'

Maybe he's gone the way of all her previous dates......

[img] [/img]

For don simon.

Never go out with a loaded weapon, so to speak. Crack one off before going. If the action kicks off early you could be in trouble mind, so wing it with some tantric or heavy petting. Yeah, that should do it.

I'm presuming the OP is older than 14, so can't see this being a problem! 😯

2nd date, time for some mattress mumbo.

You obviously mix in very classy circles! 😯

@nedrapier 😆 Thanks.

So, 2nd date happened. She survived and so did i. Full dignity still in tact (just). Going for the 3rd Date now.

You obviously mix in very classy circles!

Jesus, take the stick out of your behind.......it's banter.

take the stick out of your behind

This is clear third date behaviour. Let's not rush the boy now.

TractorFrog - Member
So, 2nd date happened. She survived and so did i. Full dignity still in tact (just). Going for the 3rd Date now.

We're going to need more detail than that. After all the advice you've had you owe us...

My second date was here, that was about 11 years together ago.(It was snowing too)

Maybe consider it for a third?

This is clear third date behaviour. Let's not rush the boy now.

😆

Have you seen this?

[url= http://storify.com/rhodri/your-awful-dates-in-140-characters ]http://storify.com/rhodri/your-awful-dates-in-140-characters[/url]

Warning: You'd better have an hour to spare.

Ok, so met for dinner, decided not to take a jacket so no risk of punching her in the face (see 1st page comments) and i didn't have to blow her up ever hour so need need for super patches. I decided to drive into town so there would be no drunk play boxing outside the take away either. Went to play some pool, made her laugh so much she snorted like a pig (haha) walked her back to her car, went in for the kiss, didn't strangle her and take her home so she would be mine forever either and then just got on the txt to her. Called her for a 3rd date and got no answer, so dropped her a txt and got told she was busy with her studies and no free time.

nevermind, left it open for the future

Time to acquire a new target

You should have playfully strangled her, but used the googly eyed monster as a distraction. It's good too establish a safety word at the start of a date, in case things get a bit rough 😉

The safe word was "Matt Damon"