- 29 year old who still hasn't left home.
- Rusty SpannerSubscriber
Don’t make her choose between you – you’ll be the loser.
Just try and be as decent to him as possible.
Perhaps he needs your help, or a friendly boot up the arse. 😀
There’s no way I can plan a future with her while this carries on,FFS,he’s nearly 30! I’m beginning to think it could be me or him soon. What do you guys think?
Sure you want a future with her?Posted 4 years ago
If you do, you’ll have to tolerate him.
Just be honest, but in a diplomatic way. 🙂
It’ll always be him.
Sorry dude but he’ll leach you dry of emotion, money and love. The lady you like so much will end up in the middle as you bounce off each other and he will win. Blood, water.
That’s my internet opinion.
The only chance you could possibly have is if you manage to convince your lady friend that she is being taken for a mug so she puts a boot up him. Then he’ll hate you, then she’ll hate you. No prizes for guessing what will happen then.
That’s another internet opinion. She may be lovely but like a woman with more than two cats, you’re just an interloper with an evil plan. It all depends how responsive she is and how much she needs a real man in her life.Posted 4 years agob rMember
You could just adopt a simple ‘Daily Mail’ approach, which may result in you NOT moving in – or try and look at why he is like he is.
Still doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need a simple kick up the ar5e, but probably a better approach initially.
And tbh what does his Mum think?
My folks eventually moved house (and about 200 miles), kinda gave my brother a reason to move out as he wanted to stay in his home town – he was mid 20’s by then.Posted 4 years ago
Sorry dude, you’re outta there.
Sorry to be flippant but the guy has got issues, possibly very selfish issues but there nonetheless. As others have said, he is her son and will always outrank you. Plus which would you be happy making the beast with two backs with him CoD’ing in the next room?
I thought not.
#edit Agree with Samuri btw in that a 29 y/o at home wouldn’t be a problem. If my children are still at home then, then great as far as I am concerned. However I would expect some contribution to the running of the family home. If not fiscal then physical.Posted 4 years agomikewsmithSubscriber
which side of the debate did you land on 🙂Posted 4 years agoesselgruntfuttockMember
She will always back the son, no matter what an arse he is …
Not nesser-celery. My Mrs’s lad is still at home, he’s 25 & has (at least) done a degree & a masters in…some course or another, he’s got a part time job at a supermarket ATM but my Mrs wants him gone. He pays no board & we can juuust manage to get him to wash up & cut the grass at a push (thats if he’s not either in bed or messing about with his BMW. Yes, BM **** W) I mean he’s an ok lad but fook me.Posted 4 years ago
So in essence, my Mrs isn’t exactly backing him but she can’t just kick him onto the street either!
Actually he washed his own clothes today which is a step in the right direction. 🙄xiphonMember
My brother in law has just moved out of his folks home – aged 31.
They kept talking about kicking him out for YEARS but it never happened, then one day he dropped a banger – told his Mum (whilst totally pished at 2am, while she only walked downstairs for a glass of water….) he liked to dress up in women’s clothes, and felt more comfortable in them, and said the reason why he has never moved out is because they never forced him out.
He was given 1 month to leave the house… and everybody but his father know about his “cross dressing”….
To this day, my father in law still doesn’t know why his wife was so insistent on their son moving out….Posted 4 years agoChubbyBlokeInLycraMember
next time mum’s away and he’s in bed, walk into the room stark bollock nekkid, tell him you’ve always fancied a mother/daughter threesome and, in the absence of a daughter, he’ll do, after all those are EPIC breasts dude, do you do bouncing up and down?Posted 4 years ago
After that, the odd sureptitious smile, and he should be out in couple weeks, one way or anotherbluemonday22Member
I’m in my early 50’s,divorced and have recently met a lovely lady of same age, we’re talking of our future together and me moving in eventually . One problem, one of her 3 sons still lives at home,has no interest in finding work, gets out of bed at midday, plays computer games all afternoon and is out drinking most nights, spending his ‘jobseekers’ allowance. He is 29,grossly obese, hair down to his waist, and virtually lives in his bedroom which stinks! He wont give his mother a penny towards food but that doesn’t stop him rifling through the fridge while she’s at work all day. Trying to talk sense to him just falls on deaf ears. There’s no way I can plan a future with her while this carries on,FFS,he’s nearly 30! I’m beginning to think it could be me or him soon. What do you guys think?Posted 4 years agofreeagentMember
I’m afraid I’ve got to agree with those who’ve said she’ll always choose him over you when push comes to shove…
My wife has a mate with two waster sons who have basically bankrupted her.. but will she say a bad word about them? nope.
I’d broach the subject with her, and ask what the plan is…Posted 4 years agouser-removedMember
If he’s already on benefits, it shouldn’t be too much bother to find him a wee cooncil flat and get housing benefit too (never mind the rights and wrongs). Sounds like he’ll be just as happy loafing about there as in his mum’s house.
But as others have said, this would be much easier to achieve if there was a sea change in his life, like his mum moving out and selling the house.
He might quite like the idea?Posted 4 years agoCletusMember
From your OP, I would suggest that the issues are more to do with the mother, not the son.
Is he the youngest son? – if yes then the above rings true – Mummy not letting her baby grow up?
Unfortunately if he has not worked by the age of 29 it is unlikely that he will ever do so. Even if he did move out then he would probably be back on the scrounge very time a bill was due.
it shouldn’t be too much bother to find him a wee cooncil flat and get housing benefit too
I think that as he is under 35 he would only be entitled to a room in a shared house rather than a flat – this is how it works near me.
Unless the mother is willing to start showing some “tough love” – i.e. boot him out and make him take responsibility for himself I would steer clear.Posted 4 years agoBushwackedSubscriber
My step-brother got booted out of home at 20 for being like that – did him the world of good. Was tough though and my mum and his father had been together for some time.
I think the big problem is the loss/lack of life skills he is going to have – I bet he couldn’t even do a decent shop for food or know how to manage bills etc – longer it goes on the more institutionalised he will get and the harder it will be for him – if she loves him she’ll send him out into the world.
Perhaps watching the film “Stepbrothers” might help too… 😉Posted 4 years agoglobaltiMember
My brother in the USA found himself in almost the same situation; his wife (mad as a box of frogs) has two sons from her first marriage. The younger was sharing a flat with some guys, smoking and dealing dope and living in hs room with his semi-paralysed dog, which was incontinent. Eventually the smell became too much and the flatmates forced the son out, so he moved into my brother’s basement where he lived with his stinking dog on a mattress. After a few months my brother also lost patience and threw the son out, which prompted a massive guilt trip in his wife, who blamed him for the whole sorry situation.
Just to give you an idea how disfunctional his in-laws are, the brother-in-law has never been outside the USA so one day two years ago they persuaded him to get his first passport and come with them to visit lil’ old England. The BIL agreed on condition that he could share hotel rooms with his sister and my brother!! They came over and the BIL went straight to bed and stayed there; on the couple of occasions my brother got him out of the hotel he was terrified of the cars passing so close, especially when they went to the Lakes, and he and his sister insisted that they changed their tickets and flew home early to the US. On returning home my sister-in-law left my brother and went to live with her mother for a month, which she has done each time they’ve come over to the UK. I don’t know how he stands for it all.Posted 4 years ago
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