Don’t make her choose between you – you’ll be the loser.

Just try and be as decent to him as possible.
Perhaps he needs your help, or a friendly boot up the arse. 😀

Sure you want a future with her?
If you do, you’ll have to tolerate him.
Just be honest, but in a diplomatic way. 🙂

It is you vs. 30 years poor parenting.

I doubt that she will suddenly PTFU.

And why not have her move in with you, half way there then.

Sorry dude, you’re outta there.

Sorry to be flippant but the guy has got issues, possibly very selfish issues but there nonetheless. As others have said, he is her son and will always outrank you. Plus which would you be happy making the beast with two backs with him CoD’ing in the next room?

I thought not.

#edit Agree with Samuri btw in that a 29 y/o at home wouldn’t be a problem. If my children are still at home then, then great as far as I am concerned. However I would expect some contribution to the running of the family home. If not fiscal then physical.

create a life away from him at your gaff

If she gets rid of the slob, she’ll only get cats. Do a runner.

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/how-much-should-i-charge-for-keep

which side of the debate did you land on 🙂

She will always back the son, no matter what an arse he is …

Not nesser-celery. My Mrs’s lad is still at home, he’s 25 & has (at least) done a degree & a masters in…some course or another, he’s got a part time job at a supermarket ATM but my Mrs wants him gone. He pays no board & we can juuust manage to get him to wash up & cut the grass at a push (thats if he’s not either in bed or messing about with his BMW. Yes, BM **** W) I mean he’s an ok lad but **** me.
So in essence, my Mrs isn’t exactly backing him but she can’t just kick him onto the street either!
Actually he washed his own clothes today which is a step in the right direction. 🙄

wake him up *naked*. Job done.

Why’s it a question of him moving out? The two of you are thinking about moving in together. You’re both adults – you can move in together anywhere. Whats wrong with your place?

My brother in law has just moved out of his folks home – aged 31.

They kept talking about kicking him out for YEARS but it never happened, then one day he dropped a banger – told his Mum (whilst totally pished at 2am, while she only walked downstairs for a glass of water….) he liked to dress up in women’s clothes, and felt more comfortable in them, and said the reason why he has never moved out is because they never forced him out.

He was given 1 month to leave the house… and everybody but his father know about his “cross dressing”….

To this day, my father in law still doesn’t know why his wife was so insistent on their son moving out….

Bide your time. He might be nursing a hidden talent and just waiting for the right moment to unleash it on the world before he moves out!

Who’s the land-whale?

If you watched more bollocks on TV you’d know this.

Buy him an mtb

If he’s already on benefits, it shouldn’t be too much bother to find him a wee cooncil flat and get housing benefit too (never mind the rights and wrongs). Sounds like he’ll be just as happy loafing about there as in his mum’s house.

But as others have said, this would be much easier to achieve if there was a sea change in his life, like his mum moving out and selling the house.

He might quite like the idea?

OK, wikid him and found out that he is 18!!! Carry on like that oh butter behemoth and I’ll lay odds on your 40th being a cheap do for your folks.

Is he the youngest son? – if yes then the above rings true – Mummy not letting her baby grow up?

Unfortunately if he has not worked by the age of 29 it is unlikely that he will ever do so. Even if he did move out then he would probably be back on the scrounge very time a bill was due.

I think that as he is under 35 he would only be entitled to a room in a shared house rather than a flat – this is how it works near me.

Unless the mother is willing to start showing some “tough love” – i.e. boot him out and make him take responsibility for himself I would steer clear.

Fwiw lad I know on the social just got a flat, he’s 25.

My brother in the USA found himself in almost the same situation; his wife (mad as a box of frogs) has two sons from her first marriage. The younger was sharing a flat with some guys, smoking and dealing dope and living in hs room with his semi-paralysed dog, which was incontinent. Eventually the smell became too much and the flatmates forced the son out, so he moved into my brother’s basement where he lived with his stinking dog on a mattress. After a few months my brother also lost patience and threw the son out, which prompted a massive guilt trip in his wife, who blamed him for the whole sorry situation.

Just to give you an idea how disfunctional his in-laws are, the brother-in-law has never been outside the USA so one day two years ago they persuaded him to get his first passport and come with them to visit lil’ old England. The BIL agreed on condition that he could share hotel rooms with his sister and my brother!! They came over and the BIL went straight to bed and stayed there; on the couple of occasions my brother got him out of the hotel he was terrified of the cars passing so close, especially when they went to the Lakes, and he and his sister insisted that they changed their tickets and flew home early to the US. On returning home my sister-in-law left my brother and went to live with her mother for a month, which she has done each time they’ve come over to the UK. I don’t know how he stands for it all.