The poor bloke is presumably struggling with life so it’s only right that he is helped. The easy option is always to ignore a situation. Is his father around to help? What relationship does he have with his siblings?

I guess some sort of counselling is needed, he’s obviously lost his way and one doesn’t want to be cruel. Crucially, you don’t want to move in and be expected to act as a substitute father figure.

Again, I come back to his Mum needing to face up to her responsibilities and be pro-active. Until that time comes, stay put.

Ignore some of the horrible comments above, it’s a very worrying situation that you’re in.

My youngest brother lived at home pretty much all the time until he was 31, he moved out to Uni which he dumped and didn’t tell my parents he’d buggered off to London. He moved home soon after they found out, he then tried moving out a few times and never held down a job for long. I kept telling them to stop bailing him out but they couldn’t do it.

Last year he was diagnosed with Liver Cancer he had a transplant and since then he’s a whole different person, has a place of his own, gets out loads with his little dog and has started looking for work. You never know what’s going on with people, I missed it with my brother and kick myself as there was obvious clues when I look back.

You say that you’ve recently met this woman. Imo you need to give the relationship more time before leaping in and telling her to get rid of him.

There are some good pieces of advice above.
Where indeed is his father?
Also I’m guessing that he is her little baby and she’s not yet prepared to ask him to leave, however if your relationship carries on in the way you hope, she may have the courage with you at her side to slowly get him to change his ways, at 29 years of age it’s not too late.

If you live close enough maybe you could arrange she eats with you and uses your fridge, thus emptying out all the food from his grasp, he’ll then have to start taking responsibility.

Also not washing or ironing his clothes etc.

If you do end up asking her to make a choice I think you’ll lose at this stage.

With anyone who has extra baggage any relationship is difficult, you need to find the compromise and work something out, or walk away.

Good luck.

Is he fully weaned ?

This reads like a 29 thread over there <<<< if he was 26 the sun would shine out of his arse…

I think I need to stick up for your lady friend a bit, it may be this situation has evolved and she just hasnt been able to to deal with it effectively – I dont think you should assume it what she wants.

Mothers may want to nurture their young – but we know when they need to fly the nest too, but sometimes its not that simple. I have a 20 year old at home who walks a very fine line at times, he works in a bar and there fore keeps odd hours etc. Trying to get him to behave in an appropriate way (clean up/pay rent/respect others) can be very draining for me as I have two younger ones to deal with and work full time.

It may be that she has tried to make it right but it has now got to this point, I know sometimes I wish their were a bloke about who could have a bit more of a bloke to bloke chat with my son.

If I were you I would get to know them both more, and encourage her to share her dreams with you – always good to start with someones hopes and aspirations for the future then you can justifiably talk about ways to make it happen. Rather than starting with ‘your son needs to go’ . . . .

Whether she is a fruitcake or just stuck in a bad situation it will be a delicate matter to discuss

[URL=http://s489.photobucket.com/user/godzillaqwerty/media/null_zpsbbf66645.jpg.html][/URL]

letting someone of that age life at home and contribute nothing whilst sponging of you ois not helping it is enabling…they do it because you let them.

Al kids will take the piss out of their parents if they let them…..even if they work many would not volunteer to pay rent

I would be worried about why she has let him do this tbh and I doubt anything you do will change her mind

Move her in with you . rent the house to him and charge rent ??

Well okay, but insisting on sharing a room with your sister and BIL at the age of 58?

That’s the funniest thing i’ve ever read on here.