Yeah. It’s totally those who are child-free who are vocal about it. Definitely not the other way around.
This is the "preachy vegan" argument again, isn't it.
I would have said definatley No when younger, ended up having a son and its been the best thing in my life by a massive margin.
As babies the steal your heart with big eyes and bigger smiles, yes they cry and yes you'll wonder what biohazard is being produced in their nappies.
To this day my happiest times were night feed when his mum went to bed i did the last feed and got an hours cuddle with him snuggled on my shoulder, slightly smelling of warm milk and snoring.
I was worried about loosing that sort of attachment as he gets older and grows up. If anything it has got better but for different reasons you see them grow, get indipendent and you see the world in a less middle aged man sort of view.
Me and his mum split some time ago if anything it has made us closer.
Is it easy no, would i have another? No. I'm just comming throuht the total dependance and school stage so getting more free time.
Alot has to do with how you and any future childs mother would be as parents? I've seen friends go through terrible times 'cause the kid was a little s@#%.
As all the best questions the answer is "depends".
The "won't have kids because world is shit and I don't want them to suffer" is a philosophy called anti-natalism. The inherent problem with it is that it makes a good out of preventing suffering to a future life form but then denying that a future lifeform can experience any pleasure at the same time. The other problem being that the logical end point of it is killing yourself and everyone else. I've never heard or read and convincing account of it that gets past those issues, it's a bit of fringe bordering crackpot philosophy.
But by all means use it yo justify your life choices.
Weird that it feels easier to reply on the forum than it does to a pm, sorry OP!
Anyway, I was and remain in the no kids camp.
In the 10 years since the question originally came up is it the political, economic or environmental situation any better, erm nope.
Do I regret not having someone to look after me, I'm not doing a great job for mum who lives on the south coast a good 5 hour drive away at the moment, so no reason think kids of mine would be any different.
Would I be a good parent, nope.
Any regrets, nope none.
Racing DH with your 13 year old, absolutely unbeatable. My lad is the most incredible thing on the planet.
Yeah. It’s totally those who are child-free who are vocal about it. Definitely not the other way around.
If you weren't posting on a thread started by someone who's been thinking about this for a whole decade! to justify his stance on not having kids.... You might have a point
To the point about having no time, yes when they are babies one or both if you is stuck around their routine, but you can make space for yourself. I used to go away and stay at friends for beers a couple of times a year and Mrs K went to a Spa retreat for example, you just have to make it work between you.
Making toast and jam with my 9yo daughter this morning, and time off work to ride bikes with my 13yo for a long weekend on Friday - I’ve just moved him to clipless pedals - with pub burgers on the way home is enjoyment you can’t put a price on.
I feel very sorry for our anonymous friend who posted his negative experience, it would tear my heart to pieces to feel like that about my children, that’s inexplicable to me.
Got a 5 and 7 year old. Love them to bits. They ruin your house. Ruin your car. Ruin your social life. Ruin your health and finances. On a positive note they give me something to live for, they make me laugh, I can live vicariously through them, we play Mario kart and ride bikes. Yesterday the 7 year old and I blasted loop 1-4 of the minortaur up cyb. Sense of pride for me and achievement for him.
But yeah it's not all great at all. On the other hand I don't regret it and can't imagine life without them until I see child free people going off to a gig or the pub!
but being a parent is rubbish. No time, no freedom, total change of life. I have never got on with children and no idea how to interact with them. I spend time with him every week because that’s what is expected of me and I find it incredibly dull
You have full time custody when you say you have no freedom? It's sad to read this, find some common ground. He will begin to feel the resentment at some point. A few years time and you could have a great riding buddy.
No one who hasn't had kids can make an informed decision as to whether they regret it. What's there to really regret? You have no frame of reference save for seeing only the parts you want to see about your friends with kids hectic, sacrificial lives. You don't get to see the daily joy, you don't get the sleepy, unconditional cuddles from a little 5 year old with nothing but love for you in the morning, you don't get the elation of seeing them balance AND pedal for the first time. All you see is the cost - NOT the reward.
All these altruistic comments about too many people and world danger...really? REALLY? Do you make such weak arguments for the rest of your decisions? It may be a factor, but the real reason for many if not most is one of lifestyle/responsibility.
For the OP - I didn't want kids - I really didn't, and was awkward with my first until 2-3 years old, but they've genuinely been a beneficial addition to my life. I'm more relaxed, more personable and I value things more than I did. With my second it's soo much easier. Yes, thing are busy, noisy and messy, but once you get over all that (to an extent) and like all stages of life, you just adapt. You lose some freedoms (bike rides/exercise have to be balanced with not being selfish WRT family time) but gain other things, like seeing their perspective on the world and how it alters yours. Like sharing TV and expereinces and food.
Do I miss the life I walked away from at 30y old? A little. I can't always chose a restaurant based solely on what I want, money has to be more carefully thought out and shared out, but I honestly think I gained more than I lost when everything is calculated. The biggest change is probably that I spend less money on cars than I used to...*shrugs*
A question - How many of those that didn't have kids chose to have a dog instead? Then buy it Christmas presents, ice creams and new clothes/toys?
Daffy plus 1. Very similar to me, very ambivalent when had them. Took me over 6 months to gel with either of them. The rewards IMO do outweigh the costs.
You get one go round with life, I want to experience as much of the good stuff as possible and kids are such a fundamental part of life.
I wonder if people regret not having them most when their peers start becoming grand parents.
I suspect that in most cases it is the woman who wants kids, and the man goes along with it.
That's how it is in the sample of my peer group.
I have kids, two girls - 15 and 17 now - and there's no doubt the journey has been a bumpy one, in many different ways. I wouldn't advise anyone to not have them, as I think that is too simplistic. But for me the key impact is how having kids influences the relationship you have with the mother/wife. Basically, it puts the relationship under massive pressure, and there is a price to pay for that.
In short, I don't regret kids but I regret how I've handled stressful situations along the way.
I suspect that in most cases it is the woman who wants kids, and the man goes along with it.
Bollox! Thats what they'll say to look all manly. "...yeah, she wanted kids, I just wanted to get my end away....." If they didn't want kids they wouldn't just go along with it!
Good point Reggie, I would have happily bumbled along getting high, partying, sleeping through hungover Saturday/Sunday mornings, heading to the Alps twice a year....
I'm very glad that both at 35 my wife put her foot down, I can't imagine life without them.
Funnily enough I always did want kids- grew up in a big happy family - but reckon I'd have easily let it slip by
Ironically one of my closest mates from school who doesn't have kids, is often lecturing about overpopulation etc on Facebook, yet he travels from UK to his second home on Ibiza and holidays in South America etc
No one who hasn’t had kids can make an informed decision as to whether they regret it. What’s there to really regret? You have no frame of reference save for seeing only the parts you want to see about your friends with kids hectic, sacrificial lives. You don’t get to see the daily joy, you don’t get the sleepy, unconditional cuddles from a little 5 year old with nothing but love for you in the morning, you don’t get the elation of seeing them balance AND pedal for the first time. All you see is the cost – NOT the reward.
I get what you are saying, but I don't entirely agree.
Most people without children do have children close in their lives. A niece or nephew maybe, kids of close friends or in my case working with them every day. You talk to people. It's not the same at all, but I'm hopefully sophisticated enough to join enough of the dots to appreciate what we've not got. As I've said already I think I would have made a good fist of it, enjoyed it and hopefully been good at it. It's an 'on balance' thing - I think you'd have to be quite an extreme personality to have only found happiness childfree or with child children.
You could spin it the other way around - can someone with children truly know how they would have felt if they had made the decision not to for keeps? You know what it felt to be child free earlier in your life, but you don't know what it feels like if you extrapolate that to a whole life. You can estimate, but you don't know. It's very much like the way everyone thinks they know about school and what it must be like to be a teacher, because once upon a time they went to school themselves. It's not the same thing.
My lad is the most incredible thing on the planet.
This is the sort of gush that some, less grounded or perceptive, parents like to say. As a teacher I have found these are the most blinkered parents who arguably do a less impressive job at being a parent. What you meant to say (I hope) was "My lad is the most incredible thing on the planet to me". Because he's not actually the most incredible thing on the planet to anyone else apart from your partner. He is an irrelevance to me and millions of other people. He's not the most incredible thing on the planet to even your siblings, or your next door neighbor and maybe even your parents. He's just another kid. It's awesome that you have that bond with him, but keep it in perspective.
A question – How many of those that didn’t have kids chose to have a dog instead? Then buy it Christmas presents, ice creams and new clothes/toys?
I know a childless couple who's dog has its own instagram account.
not sure how they handle the arguments over time online etc...
No one who hasn’t had kids can make an informed decision as to whether they regret it. What’s there to really regret? You have no frame of reference save for seeing only the parts you want to see about your friends with kids hectic, sacrificial lives. You don’t get to see the daily joy, you don’t get the sleepy, unconditional cuddles from a little 5 year old with nothing but love for you in the morning, you don’t get the elation of seeing them balance AND pedal for the first time. All you see is the cost – NOT the reward.
Quite frankly that is patronising nonsense. I don’t have to experience both sides of an experience to decide I’ve no regrets about not undertaking it.
I have no children and no regrets, there’s no great philosophical argument in my head about it , it never happened nor was it something I sought.
All these altruistic comments about too many people and world danger…really? REALLY? Do you make such weak arguments for the rest of your decisions? It may be a factor, but the real reason for many if not most is one of lifestyle/responsibility.
This, definitely this. There are loads of really good arguments for not having kids centred on your own particular circumstances and abilities so it's a bit unceccessary to turn it into some sort of virtue.
For the people who think it's wrong to have kids because the world's terrible and they'll suffer what would you do CPR on someone? Presumably if you succeed you're condemming them to suffer. But then letting someone die in the street offers zero social media points so it's a tough dillema.
Bollox! Thats what they’ll say to look all manly. “…yeah, she wanted kids, I just wanted to get my end away…..” If they didn’t want kids they wouldn’t just go along with it!
I don't think it is; but to really appreciate that you need to come at it from the other perspective.
If your female partner sat you down and said that actually they didn't think motherhood was for them. That they could biologically, but they did not want to have a child. How many men would try their utmost to change their partner's mind? How many would end that relationship and find another partner who did because it was that important to them? What would you have done? I know one guy that did that.
The other problem being that the logical end point of it is killing yourself and everyone else
What boll9cks. Equating not having a kid with killing someone....
No kids here, never wanted any. I do exactly as i please and wouldn't change it for the world. It's cost me a relationship, but you cannot go into kids without being committed to it and i can't help how i feel about the subject.
Bringing kids into this (currently not very pleasant) world to wipe their parents ar5e in the later years is hilarious....and people call me selfish!! 😀
A question – How many of those that didn’t have kids chose to have a dog instead? Then buy it Christmas presents, ice creams and new clothes/toys?
No of course I haven’t, more patronising toss.
All these altruistic comments about too many people and world danger…really? REALLY? Do you make such weak arguments for the rest of your decisions? It may be a factor, but the real reason for many if not most is one of lifestyle/responsibility.
Like all extreme opinions on this and many other topics it's quite flawed isn't it. For us it formed part of the reasoning but not all of it. We both felt/feel that an ever increasing population is not a good thing. We don't want human civilisation to finish within a generation however. We decided, on balance, that we did not want our own children enough to add to that problem and if that was the case we'd leave the 'birthing' to other people who felt that calling. If enough people who felt as we do didn't bow to the societal pressure and preconception that having kids was the next thing on the to do list and stuck with their convictions it would make a (small) dent in the broader global issues we are tackling. I'd argue we are still involved in 'bring up' children through our interaction with friends kids, nieces and nephews and for me professionally; just not in the role of a parent. Any parent who thinks they are the sole contributors to bringing up the next cohort, or even their own children, is deluding themselves.
Quite frankly that is patronising nonsense. I don’t have to experience both sides of an experience to decide I’ve no regrets about not undertaking it.
Patronising - an inference of superiority in a statement or act- And yet, you have a totally myopic view, so is it really patronising? People with kids have experienced both (most, all?) sides of it, especially if they had kids late, so are better placed to give an informed viewpoint. Your viewpoint of kids and regret is the life equivalent of hearsay in a courtroom. Sure, you don't have a regret in your choice, but you also didn't have the full picture when you made that choice or even now. You simply don't know what you don't know and you can read about it and think you might know about it, but feelings and emotions don't transcribe and transfer well and it's this emotional context that your missing.
Would you trust someone's advice on house buying who'd never gone through it? On pet ownership? On looking after elderly relatives? Experience and emotion matters.
No of course I haven’t, more patronising toss.
You're a lovely piece of work this morning, aren't you? This was a question and it wasn't even mine. I was paraphrasing from the Pope.
Weird that it feels easier to reply on the forum than it does to a pm, sorry OP!
Plus that's what a forum is for. I see this occasionally on STW and on Facebook, someone will ask a mundane question and close with "DM me" - why? Is it a secret? What if other readers have the same question?
No one who hasn’t had kids can make an informed decision as to whether they regret it.
I would like to say I don't entirely agree, but I can't get over the fact I want to say what utter patronising horsecrap.
You have no frame of reference save for seeing only the parts you want to see about your friends with kids hectic, sacrificial lives. You don’t get to see the daily joy, you don’t get the sleepy, unconditional cuddles from a little 5 year old with nothing but love for you in the morning, you don’t get the elation of seeing them balance AND pedal for the first time. All you see is the cost – NOT the reward.
All you have done there is provide the things that are rewarding to you. Not everyone is like that and to make such a sweeping generalisation that we can't make an informed decision is frankly insulting - and yet unsuprising. It's exactly the sort of nonsense that I've had to put up with all my adult life.
How many of those that didn’t have kids chose to have a dog instead?
Oh look, now onto the 'dogs instead of children' thing now. How very typical. I chose to have a dog because I have always liked dogs, not as a child substitute. What point are you trying to make here?
Change the record. You make your choice and I'm happy for you that you made the right one for you. Stop sneering at people who choose a different life than yours.
As someone with both kids and grandkids, I'm glad we had them and pretty sure that I'll continue to be happy.
Change the record. You make your choice and I’m happy for you that you made the right one for you. Stop sneering at people who choose a different life than yours.
I'm not sneering - my first point included some evidence from my own experience and is qualified by the subsequent paragraph about how it didn't com naturally to me.
The second part you picked up on was a question realated to a quote from the Pope about people without kids later seeking company in pets due to a a requirement for reduced responsibilities.
Perhaps if you weren't so defensive, you could come up with a reasoned response. This isn't about you and me, it's about the OP's question and a reasoned response to it.
No children here either, wife and I never wanted any.
We sometimes have our nephews staying over and while they are good fun, it's always good to drop them back off at their parents. Not once have I thought I am missing out on something.
And to be clear, it's bollox saying I can't make an informed decision just because I don't have children.
No one who hasn’t had kids can make an informed decision as to whether they regret it.
I get what you are saying, but I don’t entirely agree.
I'd have used more robust language but yes, I don't "entirely agree" either.
There's plenty of things I haven't experienced. I've never tried heroin, for instance. I expect it must be incredible, folk spend a fortune on it, some people devote their entire lives to it even. I suppose I have very occasional moments where I might wonder what it's like, but do I regret never trying it? Not one jot. Day to day it never enters my head.
Do you regret never owning an elephant? How can you make an informed decision about whether you regret it or not when you can't possibly know what it's like?
I think perhaps that wanting children is genetic, it's a gene most people have but I do not. I see kids of all ages and not once have I looked on longingly and thought "that's for me." I always expected that to change as I got older but it never did. And I think that those who do and those who do not are never going to understand each other.
A question – How many of those that didn’t have kids chose to have a dog instead? Then buy it Christmas presents, ice creams and new clothes/toys?
I have cats. I don't do any of those things because they aren't children, that would be ridiculous behaviour.
The only logical conclusion to the argument about ‘informed decision’ is clearly that you have to have children: this is the only way you can find out if you would have regretted not having them. 🙄
Would you trust someone’s advice on house buying who’d never gone through it? On pet ownership? On looking after elderly relatives? Experience and emotion matters.
I met a bloke who really enjoyed cutting the blood supply off to his knackers - like he really loved it. Strangely enough I’ve not tried this but have absolutely no regrets about that decision.
This was a question and it wasn’t even mine. I was paraphrasing from the Pope.
And it’s still an insulting and patronising remark.
I’ve got 2 who are now 39 & 35. I was never bothered about having kids that much but I wouldn’t swap them for the world.
Would I have kids now?
Nope.
IMO anyone who wants kids now is being very selfish, they’re not thinking about the future of the kid(s) in these days of so much uncertainty, just their own need to reproduce.
The problem with boomers summed up in one post. "Our generation ****ed everything up, had everything we wanted and made no attempt to stop climate change, and still vote in a party determined to maintain the status quo but you younguns are the bad ones if you want kids"
Edit - honestly that post is so offensive that I don't know if it's trolling or not
The only logical conclusion to the argument about ‘informed decision’ is clearly that you have to have children: this is the only way you can find out if you would have regretted not having them.
Another issue is that you (both men and women) are biologically not the same after having children. So you just don't know what the original you would have been thinking. In other words, the two groups are irrevocably from different planets once the birthers have done the birthing.
From https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/what-causes-peoples-perspectives-to-change-once-they-become-parents/ but you can google the same from many places. Highlighted the relevant bit for the largely male readership.
For many parents, when their first child is born, it’s the first time in their lives that their number one priority shifts from themselves to another person. And this little person happens to be extremely cute, but also hopelessly vulnerable and needy. It’s a profound change that requires a monumental shift in perspective.
Thankfully, as parents we seem to have evolved to anticipate and adapt to our new responsibilities at a neural level. In 2017, a team of neuroscientists at Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona scanned the brains of pregnant women during and after pregnancy and found reductions in the amount of grey matter in areas of the brain that are involved in so-called ‘social cognition’ – that is, taking the perspective and thinking of the needs of another person.
A reduction in grey matter might sound like a negative, but it’s actually a sign of increased brain efficiency. This is because suboptimal connections between neurons are pruned back (a similar process happens during adolescent brain development). Moreover, the greater the grey matter shrinkage, the more signs of healthy attachment the mothers showed.
It’s not just new mums who experience brain changes. In 2014 a research group at Emory University found that when fathers looked at pictures of their young children, their brains showed heightened activity in regions associated with empathy and reward, as compared with non-fathers. The change seemed to be related to hormonal shifts – on average, the dads had lower levels of testosterone and higher levels of oxytocin, a hormone that’s involved in social emotions.
Bottom line: if you’ve ever seen a parent laughing and cooing with their snotty bundle of joy and wondered how they can see any appeal, remember their outlook has been helped along by some rather useful brain tweaks.
Ironically one of my closest mates from school who doesn’t have kids, is often lecturing about overpopulation etc on Facebook, yet he travels from UK to his second home on Ibiza and holidays in South America
Why is that ironic? Does he secretly father loads of kids while he's about it, thus contributing to the overpopulation problem?
If your female partner sat you down and said that actually they didn’t think motherhood was for them. That they could biologically, but they did not want to have a child. How many men would try their utmost to change their partner’s mind? How many would end that relationship and find another partner who did because it was that important to them? What would you have done? I know one guy that did that.
That was me. The decision of whether to leave or not was pretty agonising. I stayed, we tried for kids, ultimately didn't have any.
For 2 or 3 years it was pretty hard to take and I felt quite bitter about it. These days I think it's for the best. It would have been very hard on our relationship. I am very good at self-doubt and I don't know if I'd have been a good parent. 2 years of Long COVID have been bad enough with MrsDoris looking after me - if we'd had a kid or two it would have killed me. I like my life now (except the Long COVID!) and - 90% of the time - wouldn't change it.
On climate change, it means I don't care, long term. I still have a lower carbon footprint than most of my friends, taking their families on planes each year, filling their houses with plastic tat and getting new lease cars every 3 years - but that's their problem. I'll keep shopping by bike and weaving my yoghurt, and they can all clear up their own mess.
That whole 'this world is too bad' thing is probably something all prospective parents consider. My MiL felt guilty for years about having young kids in the 80s - the threat of nukes, AIDS, climate change even then, Thatcher destroying the country. Took her years to get over. But the idea that 'it was ok to have kids when I had kids, but it's not ok now' as one poster suggested is just self-justifying guff.
On regrets - I think you can be happy whatever your circumstances. There's no need to regret either way. As I said, I like my life now. MrsDoris is my best friend and we do loads of cool stuff together. Whichever you decide, you can make a happy and fulfilling life out of it. Unless your kid turns out to be a little shit. Then you're screwed...
Perhaps if you weren’t so defensive, you could come up with a reasoned response. This isn’t about you and me, it’s about the OP’s question and a reasoned response to it.
Perhaps if I'd not endured years of the same crap from enlightented parents I wouldn't feel the need to be so defensive.
Anyway, back to the point you made and discussing it less defensively. I can not experience something to know I don't want any part of it - that's not about being uninformed that is about being pragmatic.
I could go on, but @Cougar summed up where I was going with this much more eloquently than I can (before coffee) - and he did it using heroin & elephants!
No one who hasn’t had kids can make an informed decision as to whether they regret it.
Regardless of patronising, that's *silly*.
Only people with children can regret having them.
Only people without children can regret not having them.
& to get back to the OP. I notice nobody has popped up yet to say they regret not having kids.
In 2014 a research group at Emory University found that when fathers looked at pictures of their young children, their brains showed heightened activity in regions associated with empathy and reward, as compared with non-fathers. The change seemed to be related to hormonal shifts – on average, the dads had lower levels of testosterone and higher levels of oxytocin, a hormone that’s involved in social emotions.
Bottom line: if you’ve ever seen a parent laughing and cooing with their snotty bundle of joy and wondered how they can see any appeal, remember their outlook has been helped along by some rather useful brain tweaks.
Interesting, I wonder what the trigger is, as the physical/biological process, from the male perspective doesn't know any different whether you are a father or a sock stiffener.
I wonder how the study would expand if you showed fathers pictures of random children of similar age. Or estranged fathers picture of their biological offspring?
Let me try and offer some nuance.
41, no kids and no plans for any. Do have a dog though...
I was quite hard line about having no kids when I was younger and have somewhat mellowed on the idea now. I'm pretty indifferent either way, if I was with someone who really wanted kids I'd probably do it, but I'm not as Mrs Lunge is very much not into the idea and I'm happy with that.
I'd much rather not having them and regret it, which would impact no-one bar me, than have them and regret it which would therefore impact me, Mrs Lunge and who knows who else.
Mrs Lunge's Mom didn't want kids and had them as it was just what you did. She adores them and wouldn't be without them now, but my wife was brought up from an early age that it was entirely optional and not something she had to do.
So yeah, you do you. My niece is great, (some of) my friends kids are great, and my dog is great too. Make your own decision, though I'd say that if in doubt, don't.
I remember starting a similar thread on here, probably well over ten years ago.....
In my 20s always thought I liked the idea of having kids.
A good friend got his GF pregnant. He went from being on the top rung of his ladder to the bottom is pretty quick time. That scared me.
Been with my GF for 20 years. Neither of us want kids. We're both pretty selfish with our time. As time goes on we're happier and happier with our decision.
Lots of friends have ended up having kids over the years despite many of them saying that they never wanted kids.
People say I'm good around kids. I say that's because I don't have to be responsible nor deal with them all the time.
GF has two nieces who are a PITA for the most part and cry lots more than is necessary, esp given they're both around 10. I have two nephews (admittedly not seen for a while due to travel restrictions) who for the party part seem pretty cool, but then I think my sister does a better job at parenting than my GF's sister... Lots of high pitched screaminess along with much huffing and puffing.
Couldn't imagine having kids and the restrictions they impose upon you, especially once they reach school age and you're locked into term times. The other problem with school is having to deal with other parents... As a friend said recently, it's your kid till they go to school and you've no control over with whom they socialise, make friends with and who the parents are of new said friend.
My lad is the most incredible thing on the planet.
This is the problem with many parents.... They lose a lot of perspective and self awareness.
Have friends who think their kid is awesome and regale is with stories of a goal he scored or the marks he got in a test whilst the rest of us think the kid is a little shit.
I think kids help bring out/expose the real person. It's not always easy.
I use drugs and alcohol.
One thing I know I don't regret is engaging in arguing with people on the internet! People are entitled to their opinions, we often disagree about them. The OP asked for people's opinions on their choices, not whether they were right or wrong in the binary sense.
People live differently, do things differently, make different choices, the right choice for me is not the right choice for you and my experiences are likely different to your experiences.
Everyone take 10, go make a drink of your choosing, I'll have a coffee please. Then ask yourself, is this really something we need to argue about.
I wasn't on the forum 10 years ago but I didn't want kids then and don't want them now, probably even more so than before.
I have a cat who demands more than enough attention from me as it is! I wince when I have to fork out money for things I don't want to buy - but have to. So I can't imagine having to do that every single day for kids.
I am 100% happy with my decision and adore the amount of free time I have to do things I want to do. I am completely fine with other people wanting kids, but I definitely get people questioning my decision way more than I ever question theirs. You want kids? Fine, I don't and that is also fine.
This is the problem with many parents…. They lose a lot of perspective and self awareness
It's not a sense of perspective - it's a feeling towards another human being that is totally unique to ones offspring. Anyone without offspring couldn't possibly understand it. And it doesn't matter, you have your life, we have ours.
It’s not a sense of perspective – it’s a feeling towards another human being that is totally unique to ones offspring. Anyone without offspring couldn’t possibly understand it. And it doesn’t matter, you have your life, we have ours.
So just to clarify - you think Weeksy's lad is the most incredible thing on the plant? Not to him, to you - more incredible than your kids for example? Because that is what Weeksy is claiming. And what was being objected to.
I'm totally cool with Weeksy thinking his kid is the most incredible thing on the planet, but he like all other parents who talk the way he did, needs to appreciate that that opinion is specific and unique to them and will not be the opinion of anyone else (apart from his partner). Then he needs to moderate and nuance his language to acknowledge that. But to reiterate, in the best part of 30 years of teaching some of the worst parents I have had to deal with are those with blind love/adoration of their kids, unable to see their floors and help them with them.
Yeah, that's exactly what I was saying, well done you.
for reminding me why I don't get involved in these dickhead debates.
