Most often than not, Friday comes around in a lightning quick movement that leaves Singletrackians (Singletrackers? Singletrack-apods? Singletrackoids? Singletrackinators?) pondering questions like “where the heck did that week go?” and “is this jar of peanut butter for someone specifically?”. Not this week though. This week was…*dun-dun-dun-duuuuun!*…deadline week. And during…*dun-dun-dun-duuuuun!*…deadline week, you know exactly where every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day has gone. But yet those seconds still seem to slip through your fingers like an octopus covered in olive oil.
If only we had a time machine, then we could go back to the start of the week and that would have…nah who are we kidding. If we had a time machine, we’d go straight back to the joy of our childhood and endlessly watch cartoons without a care in the world. Back when cartoons were good, like Pinky And The Brain.
Brain: “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
Pinky: “I think so, Brain! But is Chippendale’s ready for ‘The Full Pinky?'”
Valid question, and it’s one we posted to our very own Pinky, Mr Chipps Chippendale himself. As you’ll see below, he decided to answer this question by modelling various goods that have arrived courtesy of…*dun-dun-dun-duuuuun!*…FRESH GOODS FRIDAY!
DT Swiss Forks
- Price: £849.99
- From: Madison
But before we bombard you with XXX-rated images of our editor, we thought we’d bombard you with XXX-rated photos of lovely XC forks. This pair is from DT Swiss, and they come to Singletrack Towers as the fastest mountain bike forks in the world. They are the OPM O.D.L Race 100 forks, and they are both exotic and lightweight. Unlike very large potatoes, which are both common and heavy.
While these are very limited forks, we mistakenly told our viewers that they are unavailable to the public. That is a flat-out lie. They ARE available to the public, so you can also own the same set of forks that Jenny Rissveds and Nino Schurter piloted to Olympic Gold last weekend. You’ll be rest assured that Wil and Hannah have been disciplined for their careless mistake.
RockShox SID Limited Edition Olympic Forks
- Price: Priceless
- From: Zyro
Also ridden by Olympians on the weekend is this beautiful blue SID fork from RockShox. It’s the SID World Cup 29in fork, but it comes in an extremely limited edition SID blue colour that is one of three in the country. Yes, this one is proper not-available-to-the-public material. In fact, it’s so exclusive that it turned up on our doorstep alongside four armed guards. No that’s actually a lie, there were only two armed guards. The other two gentlemen were in white coats and were here to pick up Rob following deadline week.
See you in a month Rob!
RockShox SID Limited Edition Olympic Forks
- Price: £TBC
- From: Zyro
But whilst we weren’t allowed to use the blue SID forks, we promised we’d be on our best behaviour with these new 2017 SID World Cup forks. Yep, they’re exactly the same, but they’re not blue, so we’ll continue to mope around the office. They’re still pretty good we guess, what with their full carbon steerer and crown and the new Charger damper. And we’ll get to actually ride them, so we’re being optimistic about it all really. Look out for these in an upcoming review soon…
Shimano SPD MW500
- Price: £124.99
- From: Madison
If this photo doesn’t suggest summer optimism, we don’t know what does! It’s the latest winter boot from Shimano, and it’s got a grippy rubber sole and a sort of wetsuit-y type thing that straps around the ankles. We showed them to our new Aussie Wil, and he’s still trying to work out what they’re for. Underwater bicycling? In time young Jedi, in time…
Shimano ME7
- Price: £149.99
- From: Madison
Less winter-y shoes from Shimano, this time the new ME7 kicks. These are like a beefier version of the existing M200 shoes, with big chunky tread blocks and a more boot-y style that includes a scree guard around the ankle. Combination of speed laces (for competitive putting-on-shoe racing?) and a ratchet buckle that goes clickity-clack.
Smith Sunglasses
- Price: $219 USD
- From: Smith Optics
Stylish sunnies from Smith Optics in the form of the Dischord. Rubber temples and nose pads for grip, as well as a curved profile that’s good for cycling, but more of a casual style that skips the roadie look, so you won’t get THE look when you order your post-ride pint. The big deal with these though is the ChromaPop lens, which makes everything look better and more vibrant. Take them off though, and everything returns to the same mundane-ness that it always was. *sigh*
Thomson Covert Elite Dropper Post
- Price: £399.99
- From: iRIDE
Is this the Rolls Royce of the dropper post world? We’re going to attempt to find out by subjecting this beautiful piece of engineering to some Yorkshire slop. It’s like the regular Elite dropper post, but with internal routing, so it’s Covert yo. Lovely machining typical of a Thomson seatpost, but with the added versatility of uppy-downiness. This one goes down 150mm in travel.
Vaude Yaras Jacket
- Price: £135.00
- From: Vaude
It’s August, and Wil is being asked to model a waterproof jacket from Vaude. It was exactly at this point in time that Wil came to the realisation of what moving to the UK actually involves. We’ll give you a hint Wil; it involves waterproof jackets and those weird wetsuit SPD boots you saw before. Cheer up mate!
Craft Active Extreme Baselayer
- Price: £20.99
- From: Craft Sportswear
No need to ask Rob to cheer up – look at that smile! That’s the smile from a man who has finished designing and laying out an entire magazine. What a bloody legend! Here Mr Robarto is modelling a Craft Extreme Baselayer, which he then explained to Wil is designed to wear at the same time as other clothing. Preferably on the inside. Or you could wear it on the outside like Rob intends to do at the local techno club this Saturday. Is good ya?
Nukeproof Bobble Hat
- Price: £13.49
- From: Hotlines
Nukeproof softgoods! But are they actually impervious to nuclear weaponry? That’s the challenge of our job here at Singletrack, but we’re willing to find out the answer to the important questions. In the meantime, we have an important question for you; who wear’s the Nukeproof Bobble Hat better?
Is it Chipps McGee? Or Pensive Hannah? You vote! You decide! You tell us who is your favourite Singletrackian!
Nukeproof Dry Release Tech Tee
- Price: £22.49
- From: Hotlines
Chipps models a T-shirt whilst Hannah practices a dancing routine in the background. We call it the ‘Singletrack Shuffle’, and it’s ideal for slow numbers at the local discotheque. It’s no so good for techno clubs, even though it is the only move in Rob’s repertoire. And from all reports, it’s terrible.
Nukeproof Cockroach T-Shirt
- Price: £19.99
- From: Hotlines
As far as we’re aware, Cockroaches and Chipps’ ability to look creepy are the only two things that will outlast a nuclear fallout. Well, at least he’ll have company.
Nukeproof Hoodie
- Price: £35.99
- From: Hotlines
More Nukeproof softgoods, this time a warmer number with a hood for creepin’, which is being exceptionally well demonstrated by Chipps. Would you trust this man?
Or is it like a taller E.T? Were all of your childhood dreams just crushed in one foul sweep? Yes, our’s too. We’ll never be able to watch E.T in the same light ever again.
Dish & DU/ER Performance Stretch Slim Fit Jeans
- Price: $129 USD
- From: Dish&DU/ER
Oh thank god, we managed to convince Ross to model these stretchy riding jeans instead of Chipps. The potential poses that Chipps was suggesting had everyone cowering in fear. So yes, you can thank us now.
Back to Ross – he’s also a Fresh Good for FGF, being one of the freshest additions to the Singletrack team. Aside from having absolutely stunning pins, Ross is also a terrifyingly good mountain biker who loves enduro racing, pints of bitter and long walks on the beach. Oh and sorry ladies, he’s taken!
So that wraps up this very hectic week at Singletrack Towers, which is good, because next week it is Eurobike madness (phew!) so make sure you tune in to watch our coverage as Chipps, Ross, David & Wil bring you all the latest goodies from the big German bike show while trying to eat their bodyweight in currywurst and drink ALL OF THE GERMAN BEER.
And with that, we’ll help to recover some of your positive childhood memories with this little number. Enjoy!