Moloch was an Ammonite god, who required costly sacrifices. A bit like Simon Cowell (but with fewer trouser issues) he prompted a particularly splendid bit of apoplexy from a bearded bloke in New York in the fifties. But no terrible sacrifices needed for you, oh beloved reader! You get to peer lovingly at glorious BikePorn for a minuscule price of entry – a few small moments of your time.
I am, of course, overlooking the frankly rather costly computer and/or phone, and the subscription to the internet service provider, but you’d get my point.
If I had one. Which I don’t.
So we humbly beseech thee: enjoy this, perhaps the spendiest Fresh Goods in recent memory…
Scott Genius 700 Premium
Haibike Xduro Allmtn RX
Yeti SB5c Switch frame
This one is InvisiFrame protected too – lots of magnificently subtle plastic covering that envelope your precious carbon like a lavish coating of protective plastic chocolate on the carbon malteser of your bike. Mmmm. Maltesers.
- fjørå flex1 Shorts (W) – £129
- fjørå equaliser lightweight long sleeve (W) – £79
- fjørå equaliser lightweight T-Shirt (W) – £69
- fjørå flex1 Gloves -£59
All from: Norrøna
Cane Creek DB Inline Shock
In a doomed attempt to enradden himself (yes, it’s a word), Barney is equipping his bike with a lovely looking Cane Creek DB Inline. It’s designed specifically for bikes with between 130 and 150mm of travel. There are two barrels in that shaft – one inside the other, to enable better, more consistent damping at high and low speeds. You can adjust high and low-speed conpression and rebound damping, and there’s a climbing circuit too. All mighty impressive in such a small package. Plus shiny.
Cane Creek AngleSet
BTR trail tool
Price: £75 plus £15 shipping
SRAM Rise 60 wheels
Price: Front – £735 , Rear – £850
They might save your life. 3d barcodes which take folks who might need it to a website with your details on. A very, very good idea, especially if you’re Barney, who will be incoherently muttering sweet nothings in a ditch somewhere steep sometime soon. We can’t wait…
Price: 2-pack – £4.99
OneUp RADr cage
From: OneUp components
Wickens and Soderstrom
A new name in bike wetware – the tyre sealant will never dry out, apparently, and you can install it with a track pump. There’s grease and lube, too, and an appealingly retro vibe that reminded Barney of moustaches and beards in a Victorian stylee. Until we slapped him, and he started crying. The sealant smells strangely edible (if you’re really desperate like us). Don’t try it at home kids! We’re trying it on Barney’s sandwiches instead of toothpaste to see and will report back’.
Price: Sealant – £18, Grease – £TBC Lube – £14 for 125ml
Muc Off Explosive Power and Ultra Endurance
Price: £24 each
From: Muc Off
A hulking pile of Choco Leibniz
A week or two ago, w made a lighthearted comment here about Mark undergoing facial injury as a result of forgetting the Choco Leibniz biscuits. And in response to such abuse (at the hands of various high-quality chocolate-biscuit deprived members of staff here), the LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY people at Bahlsen have sent us a massive pile of high quality chocolate biscuits! We thought this sort of thing only happened to famous people!
From: decent confectioners everywhere
..and finally, here’s a video we’ve put together about the Bontrager Flash Charger (aaaah aaaah) featured in FGF last week we put together, just for you:
Lastly, just to save your delicate little fingers from pounding the keyboard too much and perhaps getting a sprain, please copy and paste the following comment and designate it to the item of your choice:
If you’re about at 3:30 this afternoon, we’re going to be experimenting with FRESH GOODS FRIDAY LIVE on Periscope, a live-streaming app. It’ll be ridonculously exciting in a not-really-prepared-for-it-and-making-it-up-as-we-go-along kind of way, and you can ask us questions, LIVE! If you’ve not got the Periscope app, you can get it here. Sadly it’s iOS only at the moment, but if they’re even remotely clever they’ll be working on an Android version AS WE SPEAK! But all is not lost – apparently when we start broadcasting Periscope will put a tweet on our timeline with a link – and we *think* (althoughwe’re not 100% certain) you can watch us from there. If you really want to…
..and on that bombshell, we’re off to punch Barney in the face for forgetting to buy everyone Aston Martins.
DO YOU SEE?
oh, never mind.
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