Mates and their ex GF's... « Singletrack Forum

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Mates and their ex GF's...

99 posts & 59 voices | Started 7 months ago by mboy | Latest reply from hora

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40yr old virgin

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mboy - Member

Right, having had a mate end up going out with one of my exes before, and another mate try to crack onto one when we had only broken up about 3 weeks before, I've had some experience from that side so to speak... And it wasn't nice.

But as a genuine guy who'd never do anything to hurt or annoy one of my mates on purpose, is there a general rule when approaching it from the other side? Weirdly, in the last couple of weeks, I've spoken with 2 girls that are both ex's of friends of mine. Both of them if I'm honest, I fancied quite a bit when said respective mates were going out with them. Now one of them finished with my mate back in 2004, and to be honest though he was a pretty good mate, I only knew him through riding and we kinda drifted apart a bit, so I wouldn't feel too bad about going on a date with her. The other, well she was pretty serious with one of my best mates for about 18 months, they lived together for a period etc. until it all ended pretty drastically. This was only about 12 months ago that they split up too, though he has a new GF already that he lives with and is making life plans with etc.

BOTH have expressed interest in meeting up... And both sent me their phone numbers...

Should I feel guilty at all for wanting to meet up? Especially in the latter case, where she and my mate (one of my best mates still) were so close for a fair period of time and so recently? He dumped her to be fair, so I know he's not sore about it (and I also know he wasn't exactly the most faithful boyfriend either)... But would it feel wrong?

Or should I just stop analysing and get the hell on with it?

Posted 7 months ago #
v8ninety - Member

The latter.

Posted 7 months ago #
NZCol - Member

Get the hell on with it, life is too short.
Just try not to think of her having filthy monkey s3x with him tho...

Posted 7 months ago #
fatmax - Member

Pics?

Posted 7 months ago #
4ndy B - Member

Get stuck in, split up a year ago is not 'that recently' IMHO

Posted 7 months ago #
john_drummer - Member

2004 ?!?!?!? get in there

Posted 7 months ago #
andyl - Member

+1 for the life's too short. Enjoy the s3x.

Posted 7 months ago #
nonk - Member

crack on.

Posted 7 months ago #
Gary_C - Member

Or should I just stop analysing and get the hell on with it?

This, then afterwards 'compare notes' with your mate over a pint or two...

Posted 7 months ago #
druidh - Member

Ask them both round for an audition?

Posted 7 months ago #
restless - Member

are you sure she doesnt want to get with you so she can get near her ex again?
(in a bunny boiler kind of way )

Posted 7 months ago #
andyl - Member

hang on...3some with both, take a video and send to your mates...

Posted 7 months ago #
mboy - Member

Pics?

No chance fella, though in the case of both if I did, you'd probably be impressed...

OK anyway, taking the hint... To be fair I might have the wrong end of the stick totally anyway, they may be interested in meeting up for other reasons, as both live fairly locally to me now.

This, then afterwards 'compare notes' with your mate over a pint or two...

Errrr yeah, NOT gonna happen...

Just try not to think of her having filthy monkey s3x with him tho...

See this might be the problem, he was quite forthcoming about many of his sexual conquests with her, which though I'm far from a prude at all, I do worry if anything did happen, I'd suddenly start getting the mental image of them together doing the bedroom tango in many different positions...

Posted 7 months ago #
Taff - Member

If the best mate did the dumping then it's not so bad so crack on!

Posted 7 months ago #
mboy - Member

are you sure she doesnt want to get with you so she can get near her ex again?
(in a bunny boiler kind of way )

I know what you mean, but who says she even wants to get with me...? I know she wants to meet up, but that's it...

Posted 7 months ago #
4ndy B - Member

So meet up and find out what's what

Posted 7 months ago #
Woody - Member

Two women have sent you their phone numbers and you think there's a problem??

Boot filling time methinks

Posted 7 months ago #
mboy - Member

PMSL Woody

One of them rides bikes too...

Posted 7 months ago #
NZCol - Member

I can;t honestly believe you are even thinking about this...

Posted 7 months ago #
mboy - Member

I can;t honestly believe you are even thinking about this...

Been on the other end, it's not nice when your mates don't respect your feelings...

That said, in both these cases I suppose if the boot was on the other foot, I'd be telling any mate to go ahead too...

Anyway, cheers all, don't feel so bad now

Posted 7 months ago #
andrewh - Member

First one, yes.
Second one, check with mate concerned. Can't see it being a problem but you never know.

Posted 7 months ago #
Junkyard - Member

wot he said above but 12 mths on and he is living with someone else seriously WTF has it got to do with him, I would probably mention it though to see what they thought.

Posted 7 months ago #
Pigface - Member

Are you happy to be compared with your mates in the conjucal sense if so then my boy it is time to sow some oats.

Posted 7 months ago #
mboy - Member

Pigface, I fear you're already looking too far forward... But yeah, no worries in that respect, I've got no shame!

Posted 7 months ago #
rOcKeTdOg - Member

Can you get a reference from your mates? They broke up for a reason, best to have some backround. Also you'll get to know exactly what they like in bed. Knowledge is power

But thinking about it, I wouldn't want to go where my mates had already been apart from to swap notes in the pub afterwards

Posted 7 months ago #
keefus - Member

WTF are you playing at! Stop fannying around and dip your ferkin bread!

Posted 7 months ago #
convert - Member

I lost what would have been a very good friend for life doing this sort of thing, but then again in hindsight 3 days after they broke up to get in her knickers might have been a little soon ! She was hot though!

Posted 7 months ago #
10 - Member

quote]WTF are you playing at! Stop fannying around and dip your ferkin bread!

[/quote]
This one.

Been on the other end of this, and at the end of it they are available and so are you. done!

[

Posted 7 months ago #
chakaping - Member

But thinking about it, I wouldn't want to go where my mates had already been apart from to swap notes in the pub afterwards

I agree with everyone in this thread apart from this guy, who I hope never to find myself in a pub with.

Posted 7 months ago #
wrecker - Member

Go for the first one, check with the mate RE the second. If you don't talk to your mate, think about how you'd feel if you lost him as a friend. If that's an acceptable loss; crack on.

Posted 7 months ago #
emsz - Member

2004 one no problem, the more recent one, I'd be a bit careful.

Posted 7 months ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

BOTH have expressed interest in meeting up... And both sent me their phone numbers...

They're both probably hoping you can do the GBF duties and help them get back with the other guys.

Posted 7 months ago #
NorthernStar - Member

But thinking about it, I wouldn't want to go where my mates had already been apart from to swap notes in the pub afterwards

Hmmm, see what you're saying but you can't change the past. What about all the other guys she's been with - would that bother you too, or is that just fine because they were not mates? All girls have history and personally I'd rather go with someone who's been around a little and 'knows her stuff' than a 'I'll wait until I'm married' wet blanket type.

Honestly life is too short to worry about stuff like this. Get in there I say, enjoy yourself and if things go tits up who cares, at least you can have a good laugh about it afterwards.

Posted 7 months ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

Ohh sod it - since no-one lese has said it...

Mates and their ex GF's what?

Posted 7 months ago #
gravitysucks - Member

worying about nothin, it might not even come to nothing so you'd look a bt daft getting your friends blessing only to find she wanted to catch up on some gossip.

Just crack on, if things pan out cross that bridge when you come to it.

Posted 7 months ago #