Fell off my bike last night for the first time in about 25 years.
Bimbling along a raised path through a peat bog in the local nature reserve, the path is about four feet wide with a drop off either side. Came up behind a couple walking a dog on a lead, gave a discreet cough to let them know I was there at which point they turned round and reined in the dog to let me pass.
All good so far.
As I rode past them and gave them a nod and said thanks for letting me through, i turned and almost ran over the OTHER dog, which wasn't on a lead and had shot out of the undergrowth on the bank of the path.
Faced with an instant choice of : Kill the dog, ditch the bike or give it an Evel Kneivel style leap into the bog.
Made the wrong call and ditched the bike. Should have run over the dog.
When I was 17, going over the bars would have resulted in a ninja like tuck and roll with a half twist to land on my feet unharmed.
At 42 and five stone heavier i went down like a sack of tatties and now have two broken ribs for my troubles. Couldn't talk or breathe for [s]what seemed like an hour[/s] 30 seconds then faced with a two mile slog home.
I appreciate that this is not an unusual experience and that pretty much everyone has the occasional off / injury.
The proper weird bit was that when I got back home, my wife's opening shot as I walked in the door, before I had a chance to say a word, was "Did you fall off your bike?"
"What makes you think that?" I replied, assuming that the pained expression on my face or some other tell tale sign had given the game away. Scraped knees? Grass stains on my elbows perhaps?.... No.
That's when she freaked me out by telling me that my youngest son, who is 6 , had walked into a room full of visiting relatives about half an hour previous and randomly announced that "Dad's fallen off his bike" and then walked back out again.
Spooky, no?
spooky, yes
Burn him, he's clearly a witch, tis the Christian thing to do, it's what Jebus would do.
Bimbling along a raised path through a peat bog in the local nature reserve
There's your mistake. Gyroscopic effect; go faster and you're more likely to stay upright. Couple it with yelling "STTTRRRRAAAVAAAAAA!!!" at regular intervals so they hear you coming too.
In my house it'd be spooky if they came in and announced that i hadn't fallen off.
5 stone heavier!! Maybe time to get yourself exercised.
Hope the ribs heal quickly.. just dont laugh, cough, sneeze for the next few weeks...
[i]At 42 and five stone heavier i went down like a sack of tatties [/i]
Maybe he heard the thunderous echo as you hit the deck?
[i]and now have two broken ribs for my troubles. [/i]
You have my sympathies, as above don't laugh / sneeze / cough / breathe too deeply. And don't roll over in bed.
Random dog took me down last Saturday. I got away with just slashing my arm up. I sympathise.
Oh, yeah. Your son is under the devils hand. Burn him. Or nuke him from orbit.
Does your son see 6 random numbers for tomorrow night?
[i]5 stone heavier!! Maybe time to get yourself exercised.[/i]
Yeah! Maybe I should take up cycling 😛
[i]don't laugh / sneeze / cough / breathe too deeply. And don't roll over in bed.[/i]
Done all of the above in the last twelve hours. No wish to do them again. Couldn't get the handbrake off the car this morning without assistance 😳
Give up drinking ( if you do )
which will help you lose 5 stone
Do it for your kid
Reward yourself with shiny bike when you do..
[i]Give up drinking ( if you do )[/i]
I don't
[i]which will help you lose 5 stone[/i]
I don't want to lose 5 stone - I was spectactularly skinny as a youth - Like a living, breathing skellington - Probably 3 stone underweight for my height. Losing 2 would make me "normal"
Take up drinking.
Put on 3 stone.
Then lose 5 stone..
Buy shiny bike etc..
Did you text your son when you fell of your bike saying so?
He probably just saw it on Twitter. Your impulse to take a selfie immediately after impact gave the game away. 😉
I see injured, overweight people.......
You aren't getting enough love for this thread title. It is excellent. 😀
as above don't laugh / sneeze / cough / breathe too deeply.
Normal advice is to continue to breathe normally, including some deep breaths, or you put yourself at risk of chest infections.
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/rib-injuries/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Well done for keeping a sense of humour. Heal soon and as others have said, try not to get a cough or cold.
[i]Well done for keeping a sense of humour.[/i]
Sense of humour is now firmly chained to the garage wall along with bike. Laughing hurts too much. 🙁
You should definitely continue breathing. There are serious long-term negative health consequences if you stop breathing for extended periods of time.
Get your son an octopus. Buy lottery ticket. Profit.
My youngest only has a few words so far, but the other day I was changing her nappy as her mum left the house and she started squealing:
[i]"Mummy dies. Mummy dies. NO! Mummy DIES!!"[/i]
It was quite disturbing and I was a bit freaked out. 😯
(till I realised she just wanted her mum to change the nappy. "Mummy does" is considerably less spooky!)