Shit, that's crap. I did wonder why you;d gone quiet
I didn't read Bullheart's thread cause 1) I didn;t know him and 2) I knew it'd **** with my heartstrings (I know Jane ended up in tears several times after catch-up reading sessions on that thread) but I shall follow your updates. As above, it's not the end, god know Bullheart shows that a terminal prognosis can be beaten, and I know that you have the fortitude to stand up and fight - and if you don't Mrs MM will make you.
You have you contact details. If you ever need a break, a walk, a ride, a cup of tea and some cake, a few beers, whatever, just say and we'll work it out.
all the best