Holds breath and types….. so, I've got cancer…
Hi all. I just met with Chris for a coffee, and he has asked me to post a quick update for him. The treatment has hit him hard and he’s very tired all the time, which is why he’s not been posting on here. He is bearing up brilliantly considering everything, and we had a lovely long chat about all sorts. He asked me to say thanks for all the kind messages of support he has received from you lot, both on here and privately. I’m sure he’ll be along to update you all with more details in person as soon as he gets the time and the energy to do so.Posted 3 years agoBunnyhopSubscriber
I’ve been in touch with Chris too and echo the above.Posted 3 years ago
He’s had to endure some uncomfortable treatment, which would have had most people on their knees, however with Chris he has a certain personality to laugh it off as though it were nothing 🙂marsdenmanMember
Hope you’re all fine and well?
It’s taken me a while to get my head in anyway straight enough to type this but, here goes, an update…
Firstly, thanks again to everyone for words of support etc. especially those who have contacted me directly – sorry I did not reply directly, my mind has mostly been anywhere but foreword…
Logically there is much more to this, but, having played this post over in my mind so many times, I figure simple is best…
Just before Easter we made the decision that there will be no more ‘life extending’ treatment for my cancer.
Since the original diagnosis we have always been well aware that the treatment available would likely have limited success. The scans etc that came after the 1st batch of chemo confirmed that the drugs were not working. Indeed, the cancer appeared to be spreading. At this point our oncologist advised that, locally, they could think of no further option they could offer but they set about speaking to other specialist centres. Word came back of another option for chemo but, again, it was stressed that positive results were not to be expected, still, you have to give these things a go.
Following the first dose of this second treatment my immunity levels hit rock bottom and I ended up in hospital. Fortunately, what was initially thoughts to be a new, large, aggressive, tumour turned out to be a bad infection, the legacy of which turns out to be a blood clot on my, until now ‘good’ right lung. Better the clot than the tumour…
So, as the chemo was leaving me feeling rubbish and wide open to further infection etc it was time to revisit a conversation Sharon and I had had before. Quite simply ‘quality or quantity’. Quality was kind of a known position – appetite better, not as tired, generally feeling so much better in myself. Quantity – bottom line is, no one knows how long I’m likely stick around, chemo or not.
Decision made, we spoke with our oncologist. He agreed with us.
So, there you have it.
Big decision made but, I’ve not been this happy for a good while. I get scared I every day. I’m happy every day…
Life is as good as it can get.
The support of a truly amazing wife, family and friends humbles me every day.
As for the NHS, Macmillan, Kirkwood hospice etc etc I do not know where to start….
ChrisPosted 3 years agomuddydwarfSubscriber
None of us can say how we would deal with such a situation til we were faced with it, you’ve made a decision that’s right for you and your family – which is all that truly matters.Posted 3 years ago
Trying to find something inspirational to say that isn’t trite, the truth is i can’t. Its all been said before & by far more erudite people than myself.
Hope the sun shines on you and your family for as long as it can.Capt. KronosSubscriber
It is a hard, and very brave, decision to take. I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes, but having watched my Mum loose the fight with all the medical treatment being thrown at things earlier this year I think it is very probably the right decision taken for entirely the right reasons.
Quality of life is paramount, and with limited chance of any kind of success from a pretty debilitating process you are as well enjoying what time you have left to the absolute best of your abilities… and leave everyone with good memories when the time comes.
So sorry for you that I really don’t have the words – but my thoughts are and shall remain with you and your family.Posted 3 years agoscaredypantsSubscriber
That’s a brave decision you’ve had to make, MM – I can see why making it has taken a weight off already.
Is there anything “we” (I can only really speak for myself, of course, and I live a while away from you, but still…) might be able to do to help ? Anything you need, or wish you could do but don’t have the assistance to make it possible ?
All the best to you and those who love you. Make some (more) great memories !Posted 3 years agobradleyMember
Anyone else find themselves swallowing saliva and taking a deep breath before they read that last update?
*sigh* Damn. I wish there was more I could do in situations like these. Maybe STWers could organise a yearly ride somewhere central that would raise funds for charity.
All the best Chris. I’m going through a pretty shitty time myself at the moment but you and a person at work make me realise that I haven’t got it that bad. Stay strong buddy.
EDIT: I also echo scaredypants post about anything we as a collective can do. In the fire service when one of our guys got hit with the bad news we done a whip round (bit more than a whip round) and got some £4K to pay for him and his wife to have a holiday of a lifetime which they’d always wanted. Felt great to be a part of that.
Just ask!Posted 3 years agokristoffMember
This is the first time I’ve seen this thread and it hits a chord with me having lost my father some years ago to the big C.
I sincerely hope you manage to keep your standard of life as high as possible for as long as possible (that’s what we all want really), if there is anything that can be done to help/take mind off then I’m sure like many others will gladly lend an ear (or eyes to read),
As to a bit of find raising what about a STW pootle where each rider donates a bit. No doubt quote a few would donate a bit of cash in exchange for a ride and possibly some cake 🙂Posted 3 years agoMal-ecSubscriber
Sounds like a sensible decision that was well made.
Had 2 mates go through a similar thing recently. They and their families all felt it was the right decision.
Stuff they found helpful was getting some advance planning done through Macmillan and agreed with GP, Making sure partners e.t.c and you have access to some form of counselling, which they may not want , but having someone they can off load to can help. Going out + doing stuff. Spending time with loved ones. Laughing, lots. Doing some meditation / relaxation. Doing whatever makes you feel good, is good for you.Posted 3 years ago
No-one can predict what will happen or when, so living each day as fully as possible, what ever that means, is the call.eskayMember
Chris, I don’t know you but have followed your thread. Your post is upsetting and inspiring and I wish you and your family as many happy times together as possible.
My wife’s uncle went down the treatment route and spent his last months in chemo hell (the treatment got him in the end) so I think you have made the right choice.
good luck mate.Posted 3 years agowonkey_donkeySubscriber
Never met you Chris but I send you all the best wishes. I watched my Dad go through a similar thing and I always said I would make the same decision as you (who knows if I would ever be brave enough to actually do it).
I know you will truly enjoy the time you have with you loved ones and make this time count.
All the best, stay strong.Posted 3 years agobullheartMember
Hello old friend,
I read your post earlier today, and it has taken me until now to come up with something in response. For those that don’t know, Chris was the photographer at my wedding in October 2009; six weeks after I had a tumour cut out of my heart, and four days before we found out that the cancer had metastasised to my bones. Folk might already know that he was the photographer, but what they won’t know is that he offered his services free of charge, refusing payment and travelling hundreds of miles to record our special day.
You were remarkable then, and you are remarkable now. Truth be told, your decision reflects everything I’ve ever felt about you; compassion, kindness and great strength. I feel very proud that you offered a hand of friendship to me, and am sure that I wouldn’t be here without you and others like you. So thank you, and if possible I’d like to pop up at some point and buy you the cup of tea I’ve always promised you…
MarkPosted 3 years agoernie_lynchMember
Big decision made but, I’ve not been this happy for a good while.
You have taken control. I guess for months things have been very much out of your control but now you’ve regained control, which must be a very positive thing.
None of us know the day or the hour but for you Chris it takes a special kind of courage. Do enjoy the here and now, the moment.
“That nowness becomes so vivid to me now, that in a perverse sort of way, I’m almost serene, I can celebrate life. Below my window, for example, the blossom is out in full. It’s a plum tree. It looks like apple blossom, but it’s white. And instead of saying, ‘Oh, that’s nice blossom, looking at it through the window when I’m writing, it is the whitest, frothiest, blossomiest blossom that there ever could be.
Things are both more trivial than they ever were, and the difference between the trivial and the important doesn’t seem to matter — but the nowness of everything is absolutely wondrous.
And if people could see that — there’s no way of telling you, you have to experience it — the glory of it, if you like, the comfort of it, the reassurance. . . . Not that I’m interested in reassuring people, you know. The fact is that if you see the present tense, boy, do you see it, and boy, can you celebrate it!”
Dennis PotterPosted 3 years agoRusty MacSubscriber
My uncle made the same decision as yourself with his cancer about 3.5 years ago, sadly he passed shortly after the closing ceremony to the Olympics. I had the upmost respect for his decision on the matter as I do you even though I have never met you. Best of luck and enjoy living each day.Posted 3 years agokennypSubscriber
I’ve been staring at this thread for about 20 minutes now, reading all the comments and thinking about someone I’ve never met. Tried to find the right words to type but struggling to put into words what I’m sure many of us are thinking. I’ll settle for a simple ” hang on in there” but I’m sure you’ll realise there’s a lot behind those four little words.Posted 3 years ago
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