long story but im texting someone to arrange to go out.the conversation is being had in the third person with a kind of spy/ bond type theme. odd i know but run with me! im running out of flirtatios inuendos, help me out…were talking concealed weapon, booby traps, lying low etc etc.
ive run out know tho..any ideas?

Buy a copy of Viz magazine ?

I take it you’ve already used the words Pussy Galore

tell me you have asked abut her secret cave 😯
Surely she has a pussy to stroke or are you the villan?

My wife asked me for an innuendo. I gave her one.

Inyourendo!

Mention that you’d like to attempt re-entry later (Moonraker innuendo)

odannyboy, what gift did you decide upon for your “bird”?

Are we going to get your whole relationship posted on here? Yesterday we had presents and today it’s innuendo.

Maybe if you could just point her at stw she could dispense with your involvement altogether 😉

Ask her if you can take her up the Nile ?

I think I embarrassed the lady at Islabikes on Saturday, when she suggested that a some children prefer to mount from the rear.
With wobbling-head-tongue-in-cheek gesture, I mentioned that I also prefer this approach. It did not go down as expected.

obviously you’ve mentioned you’re gold member/finger, right? 🙂

asked her to ride down your exploding pipe-line?

taking her on a ‘fast ride’

plain old ‘undercover(s)’ innuendo is simple too insert 😉 whenever

maybe substituting gold paint for chocolate?

depends on the conversation really 🙂 I love innuendo. Nothing like a good flirt to encourage more interesting ‘fun.’

Not quite related but my workmate just came up with a good one.

“a guy from Taxidermy came in while you were at lunch – I told him to get stuffed”

Took me a while…

(and yes we do have a Taxidermy department)

call her miss moneypenny and reassure her that despite wanting you, the most you’ll do is flirt and make her do your filing.

this will make her want you.

Hels what sort of freaky ass company do you work for that has its own taxidermy department?!

claims direct?

*insert anecdote about approaching PR girl on Cove stand at bike show with a view to obtaining a Hand Job here*

Roger more.

From: Tomorrow Never Dies

James Bond: [Whilst being in bed with his Scandinavian language tutor ] I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.

Moneypenny: You always were a cunning linguist, James. 😉

The best sex pun was actually delivered by Q in Moonraker.
Sir Frederick Gray: My God, what’s Bond doing?

Q: I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.

flip, I believe it was his language teacher who responded to his ‘new tongue’ quip, not Miss Moneypenny.

Have you considered taking her up the Oxo Tower?

Gravity sucks – not an undertakers ! I work in a rather large Museum. It is quite freaky arse.

Your missile is primed and ready to go off?

Innuendos are great, I always try to slip one in when I can

Juicy-plum..flowers.safe bet, and went down a treat,not to much not to little.
anyhow this is a different lady..
anyway,keep em coming these are good!

Inuendos? Sorry, but there is no way I am giving you one.

how about asking her to report in voluntarily so you can check out her particulars and make sure she’s fit for a mission.

or just ask her if you can bash the back doors in. it sounds enough like a code…

My fav bond line(s) has gotta be:

“my names Plenty”
bond looks her up and down “why, of course you are”
“plenty o’toole”
“named after your father perhaps?”

Tell her you need assistance polishing your weapon. Saliva works well.
Or just tell her you’re going to do her up the wrong ‘un.