I break wind in your general direction.
Your Mother was a hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries.
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funny insults
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Said to anyone who is overweight:
When you put on your belt do you use a boomerang ?Posted 1 year ago # -
"You could go rock climbing with that nose"
Or for a lady of loose morals,
"It was like pushing a car with a rope"
Posted 1 year ago # -
duntmatter - Member
'You, sir, are the end of a bell.'
Courtesy of someone on here.
Wasn't that 'Fin du closh' or something French.
Good anyway.
Posted 1 year ago # -
She had a fanny like a stamped on bat or a face like a bashed in crab, both these always make me smile!
Posted 1 year ago # -
When my sons calls me names like Old Git or Jelly Belly ma :(kes me chuckle especially when my eldest calls be an arse or thick, he has now got a very thick skin and ridicules me when I insult him back
Posted 1 year ago # -
'Delusions of adequacy', always a good one.
'A face like a blind welders bench'.
'Dressed by a blind Mod'.
'Uglier than a hat full of monkeys bumholes'.
Big nose? 'Bet you can smoke a spliff in the shower'.
Large chested lady - 'Hunchfont'.
A lady whom you do not find aesthetically pleasing - 'Kangarillapig'.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Best one I've heard recently was 'you are a **** fomite'
Sounds best when delivered in a broad Northern Irish accent.
'Fomite' is an inanimate object capable of transferring infections.
Posted 1 year ago # -
On being called Fat, reply, do you know why im so fat, every time i **** your mum she gives me a biscuit, havnt you seen the video?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Once called a female driver a slack c#nted whore. Stopped her in her tracks it did. And it was (worryingly) off the cuff - not something I'd used before. But it is now in the armoury
I bet you failed her on the driving test as well!
The perhaps contrived one i like is..
I saw your name on a loaf of bread today!!! but when i got closer, i saw it said 'Thick cut'
Posted 1 year ago # -
"You're so ugly you'd turn a funeral up a side street"
Posted 1 year ago # -
"you've got something on your chin"
(person rubs chin)
"no, the other one"
cracks me up every time I think about it because of the situation it was used in!
Posted 1 year ago # -
face like a bucket of fire damaged lego
Posted 1 year ago # -
he looked like he'd been force fed bricks with a catapault
we hung her picture above the fireplace to keep the kids away
Posted 1 year ago # -
twunt
Posted 1 year ago #
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