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arse gobbling cock sniffer!
ya great 'tard!
ya big, sweaty minge!
If I had a dog that looked like you...i'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards!
You chicken-shit poltroon works for me.
Baffled as to why this thread is still alive!
"Face like a twisted slipper"
"She bang's like a belt fed machine gun"
You will be blind when your balls drop...
Felcher
Oh it's like a penis - only smaller.
Lass looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Face like a robbers dog.
Just simple-
Ye helmet
Ye fud
chimp, followed by wheres the uniroyal hanging today then.
Whilst watching a badly dubbed version of Die Hard on US tv:
"You Melon Farmer"
silly billy.. nasty pasty.. show-off.. teachers pet.. greedy guts etc..
all the primary school ones sound ace when coming from a hairy heavily tattooed teef missing fat knuckled neanderthal.. especially if delivered with a genuine look of childish indignation..
EDIT: not that I'm insinuating that the OP is a fat knuckled bar steward.. I was just expressing a preference like..
"Short bus" works round here.
Reject
Knob jockey
Asshat, I do find myself using surprisingly often
...but assclown not so much.
I prefer one or 2 word options; swearing is not something that's really 'done' in Canada, so you find yourself having to be more inventive
Chickenshit poltroon!
clever clogs
Your friend told me you hadn't got the brains of an idiot!
I stuck up for you. I said you had.
Or..
Your powers of self deception amaze me.
🙂
"Shh shhh ways that sound? Oh its your village calling you, they want their idiot back."
a word is yet to be invented to describe how totally whatever-it-is you are, but you are one. And a total, total one at that.
courtesy of Arnold J Rimmer
You rubber
fluffer
son of a whore and cock off.
Also how is this still up?
'You, sir, are the end of a bell.'
Courtesy of someone on here.
After a few witty comments about my bosses new Cuban Heels he promptly told me to 'go f*** your self with a rusty jazz trumpet' which made me chuckle
I love this one...
Ha ha Is it right your mam had venetian blinds on yer pram you ugly ****?
Crude but effective
Short Faves:
Ballbag
Toilet
Twonk always makes me smile.
I break wind in your general direction.
Your Mother was a hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries.
Said to anyone who is overweight:
When you put on your belt do you use a boomerang ?
"You could go rock climbing with that nose"
Or for a lady of loose morals,
"It was like pushing a car with a rope"
duntmatter - Member
'You, sir, are the end of a bell.'
Courtesy of someone on here.
Wasn't that 'Fin du closh' or something French.
Good anyway.
She had a fanny like a stamped on bat or a face like a bashed in crab, both these always make me smile!
When my sons calls me names like Old Git or Jelly Belly ma :(kes me chuckle especially when my eldest calls be an arse or thick, he has now got a very thick skin and ridicules me when I insult him back
'Delusions of adequacy', always a good one.
'A face like a blind welders bench'.
'Dressed by a blind Mod'.
'Uglier than a hat full of monkeys bumholes'.
Big nose? 'Bet you can smoke a spliff in the shower'.
Large chested lady - 'Hunchfont'.
A lady whom you do not find aesthetically pleasing - 'Kangarillapig'.
Best one I've heard recently was 'you are a ****in fomite'
Sounds best when delivered in a broad Northern Irish accent.
'Fomite' is an inanimate object capable of transferring infections.
On being called Fat, reply, do you know why im so fat, every time i **** your mum she gives me a biscuit, havnt you seen the video?
Once called a female driver a slack c#nted whore. Stopped her in her tracks it did. And it was (worryingly) off the cuff - not something I'd used before. But it is now in the armoury
I bet you failed her on the driving test as well!
The perhaps contrived one i like is..
I saw your name on a loaf of bread today!!! but when i got closer, i saw it said 'Thick [b][i]cut[/i][/b]'
"You're so ugly you'd turn a funeral up a side street"
"you've got something on your chin"
(person rubs chin)
"no, the other one"
cracks me up every time I think about it because of the situation it was used in! 😀
face like a bucket of fire damaged lego
he looked like he'd been force fed bricks with a catapault
we hung her picture above the fireplace to keep the kids away
twunt 😀