Am I being an ungrateful sod? Centreparcs content

Firstly I’d like to say this has nothing to do with a certain vintage Mums Net thread, sorry to disappoint you.
It’s my 40th birthday next month and Mrs CD let slip that she’s booked a long weekend in Centre Parcs Sherwood forest for us and the 4 month old little Miss CD. I couldn’t hide my disappointment, I’ve made it clear on several occasions that Centre Parcs isn’t my sort of thing and I thought that she would have realised that when I was so miserable when went to one for a spa day a few years ago.
Obviously she was hurt at my rejection of the idea but stated I’d have to get used to the idea as that is what holidays look like from now on now we are a family. I pointed out that at 4 months old Little Miss CD is not going to be able to do any of the activities bar spending 20 minutes in a swimming pool and why not just go to a nice hotel by the seaside for the weekend a do some walking. It now looks like I’m spending my birthday home alone whilst they go without me.

Meh

Centre Parcs isn’t really my kind of thing either but some mates were going on a cheap deal and I joined them – it was pretty good fun. As with most things in life it is what you make of it. Sorry but you are sounding a bit childish here.

I would think some consultation is reasonable though if this is going to be all of your future holidays from now on. 🙂

Yes, you are being an ungrateful sod. Sorry but you did ask.

Probably a little ungrateful yeah. But I agree with your ideas on the place. It all seems a little forced and just a touch expensive for me.

I left the OH and Jnr to go with my SiL and BiL a couple of years back. When they suggested going I said “why don’t we get a nice cottage somewhere? We can go swimming anywhere, we can go to the local leisure centre if we want to play badminton, or Go Ape if we want to swing through the trees.”

I just like a little more freedom.

Go for the weekend with them. But only on the proviso that you can prove to your OH that holidays can be different to that now you have a family. Then you plan the next long weekend or week away.

Reads like you are shaping up to be a real family man ,go you.

cripes! and i thought i was a miserable bastard…

Am I being an ungrateful sod?

Yes. Yes you are.

Being a parent is a whole world of constant compromises.
Centre parcs is clearly her kind of thing. MTFU and look after the baby whilst she does the whole spa thing. Give her a break.

If you can’t then find something to amuse you for a couple of hours whilst you’re there, then there’s something wrong with you. They have bikes and everything. You might actually enjoy it.

Firstly I’d like to say this has nothing to do with a certain vintage Mums Net thread, sorry to disappoint you.

/kicks dog.

Yes you are. Spending time away with the family is priceless wherever it is.

And once mini-grumpypants is a-bed at night you can go out to the river rapids and run multiple circuits of it with all the other mums and dads.

Sorry, but yes you are. Irrelevant if you want to go, it’s a birthday present so you smile, say thank you and make the best of it.

Go, embrace it, enjoy yourself and then, if you really must, suggest you organise the next trip.

Would your missus like someone more grateful to keep her company if you’re staying at home? Usual Center Parcs rules apply 😉

I don’t think you are being ungrateful , sounds shit

Also, they don’t put an exploding proximity collar on you at arrival. So I believe.

I don’t think you’re being ungrateful actually.

Turn the tables and would your wife’s reaction been any different? Say you booked a week on a downhill biking holiday, and said “these are going to be all our holidays from now on”. Holiday decisions should be discussed and compromised, particularly if you’ve already tried Centre Parks and mentioned you didn’t enjoy it.

Before babies ALL of my holidays were beach holidays for windsurfing. Since then we’ve managed to still do a few windsurfing holidays (renting a villa rather than a hotel), but also thrown in some sightseeing holidays (e.g. Lake Garda – which admittedly has windsurfing), and am doing Disney this year.

Don’t worry, she’s on the AIBU page on Mumsnet right now. You’ll be getting a right mauling.

It’s a hard adjustment to make when the first baby arrives. You were probably already knackered and grumpy, plus you’re now officially an old bastard, with your old lifestyle up in smoke. Perfect storm of male middle-aged misery.

Nevertheless, yes, you are being an ungrateful sod, and you had best get yourself out of the doghouse if you want to negotiate any days out riding later this year…

Reads like you are shaping up to be a real family man ,go you.

I’d agree with you if Little Miss was at an age where we could do any of the family activities. I’m looking forward to are first family camping trip in may, I just hate the artificial forced stuff like Centre Parcs. I suppose I should be grateful that we are not going to Lalandia in Billund again, now that was hell.

I’m going to stand in your defence a little. Relationahips are about listening, unserstanding, compromise and everyone getting a little of what they want. I think you should have had your feelings taken into account for YOUR birthday present and Centre PARC’s should not have been booked.
I would be very disappointed if my other half disregarded my feelings for my 40th…

We went up to CP for a long weekend with two other families years ago when we had 3 kids under the age of 3 – for me it was pretty horrific and I’d much prefer your idea of place by the beach and a few walks.

As your little dude is only 4 months old there’s nothing to be gained from 90% of the activities available at CP, so why go? Because your wife has made the effort would be one reason.

And everything up there ^ is right. You’re a family now so suck it up – from your current perspective it’s [potentially] going to get much worse before it gets better – Go to CP and stop being a miserable git, you may even enjoy it!

Lalandia in Billund again,now that was hell.

When the kid(s) get to seven or eight, you will probably be hellbound again, one way or another.

I didn’t like Lalandia much, but my kids were having a whale of a time there and at Legoland, so I could live with it.

having recently done 40*, i sympathise.

if your missus has booked you a weekend away to Centreparcs for your birthday, she is a shit and insensitive missus.

yes holidays will look a little different with the kid
potentially centreparcs will feature in your future

* my missus agreed that i can arrange and pay for a week holiday, of her choosing – thats my ‘present’

Centre parcs is clearly her kind of thing. MTFU and look after the baby whilst she does the whole spa thing. Give her a break.

Can I quote this in 3 years time when it’s her 40th and I book a family weekend at Fort William 😛

Not ungrateful no but sounds like you should have realised you were going to lose the argument sooner and not dug your heels in.

It does sound a bit odd that you’d want to spend over the odds for a Centreparcs holiday when your kid is too young to make the most (anything) of it. Your idea of a decent hotel etc. sounds better for now whilst accepting caravans and Centreparcs being the future of your holidays in a year or two.

Also not sure it qualifies as a 40th birthday present, it’s a family holiday not in anyway focused on you. She’d have been better off buying you a 40 year old Whisky to drink whilst on the Centreparcs holiday in order to soften the blow :p

That said I don’t have kids so my advice is moot…

so, its your 40th birthday, and she’s booked you something she knows you wont enjoy, and now is annoyed at you that your not happy with it….

now, if she had booked a baby sitter and a nice meal for your 40th with some friends, and a family holiday to center parks then that’d be different.

but I am with you on this, nearly everyday of your life is going to be spent “for the kids” your 40th you should get a chance to do something for you.

IMHO

someones booked you a holiday for your birthday so it’s going to be difficult to complain without coming across as ungrateful

however…
it’s your birthday so doing something you wanted would shirley be an idea, if I booked an mtb holiday for my mrs birthday she would sure as shit complain and there’s no way she would try to drag me round the trafford centre on my birthday.
Holidays with the kids, better get used to it, but a 4month old at centre parcs? Isnt the whole point of CP to do some fun active stuff while you’re there, someone is going to be left holding the baby so again not ideal.

OTOH you’re (presumably) an mtber so maybe she thinks you’re an active kinda guy so booked an active kinda holiday for your birthday.

whichever way you play it tread carefully.

OP, its not really about you though, is it?

Be grateful for the time together you have as a family, even if your kid is that young. Get a backpack, go for a walk etc…

TBH if you send your other half packing on a birthday weekend away without you, with 10mth as well, you are setting a terrible precedent for your relationship, and as a Dad.

I don’t mean to get all mumsnet on you, you just sound like a totally ungrateful sod.

It now looks like I’m spending my birthday home alone whilst they go without me.

Sounds like you’ve got a right result there then! I take it you’ve ordered in the coke and hookers already 😀

I couldn’t hide my disappointment

you’ll learn.

Going to Centre Parcs is what families do. MrsCD wants to do ‘family stuff’ with her daughter and you.

Tbh, if you want to go on country walks then Sherwood pines is on your doorstep there and you can get out and do that and still do the CP stuff a bit too. Just treat CP as a base like you would a hotel, they don’t lock you in…

Being miserable will not get you anywhere other than looking like someone who didn’t get their own way and is petulant as a result. Staying at home while they go is really not a good start to family life – will you do it every time there’s an event or visit you dont; fancy on?

Being a parent is a whole world of constant compromises.

And the OP’s partner has failed to compromise on his birthday weekend which while it shouldn’t be ‘all about you’ should be something that has a big part of what he enjoys while accomadating the needs of the family.
Centre parks is obviously the opposite of what he wants.

Me, I would feel the same and tell them to go and have a nice time, I’m more than happy painting the shed while waiting for the pron to download and pizza to arrive.

Yeah,wait till you find out that she has booked a massive surprise 40th party at the place.Taking months of planning,hours and hours of getting all your friends and family to keep it secret.

whats the worst that could happen if you go?.Other than having your bikes nicked ( take a very big lock and ground anchor). Take jnr for a ride whilst OH goes for a spa 🙂 then buy yourself some thing for the 40th 🙂

I thought that she would have realised that when I was so miserable when went to one for a spa day a few years ago.

Get a grip man. Have you tried explaining it rather than hoping she works it out?

I would have thought a few days in Centreparcs would be immeasurably more pleasant than living with a pissed off wife. She must be pretty pissed off to want to go on her own with a small baby.

Taking babies swimming is ace fun as well!

On the plus side, the peak is only a short drive away, where good walking, biking and pubs can be found…. unlike sherwood that has none of the above.

She’s not being particularly sensitive buying you something she seems to want for YOUR birthday; but staying home on your own whilst they go isn’t great either. Compromise is sometimes a good thing.

Yes, life (and especially parenthood) is all about compromises but as your birthday present, it’s a bit shit of your missus to book it knowing you don’t like the place. You could always thank her for giving you a weekend on your own and go off and enjoy doing something yourself.

Take her somewhere she doesn’t want to go for her birthday 😀

You’ve been married long enough to realise that you’ll never ever be forgiven for this, right?

Sounds horrific.

Clearly your Mrs’s doesn’t understand you, or perhaps you’ve not made that clear since you’ve been together?

Either way, I’d be miffed, not many holidays left in your world having hit 40, so sack it off and go riding instead, meet the Mrs’s and baby at a hotel you’ve just booked yourself.. then claim back the booking fee from CP..

You’ve taken control, like you should.

HTH’s.

Expecting your missus to be in any way focused on your needs at this particular moment is probably a bit optimistic. Her priorities are baby and sleeping. I’d be stunned that she has even remembered your 40th, let alone tried to do something nice for you, even if that’s not hit the mark.

Go along, try to entertain the nipper while she has a spa and a sleep, then negotiate something you’d like to do when the weather’s a bit better. It’s possible that strolling along some storm-lashed seafront is her equivalent of Lalandia right now.

No I’m with you Drive, if it’s not your thing, and you’ve made it clear it’s not your thing – then it’s hardly something you’re going to leap up and down at the thought of, especially if it’s being sold to you as a birthday treat.

But…. that said.

I had a similar revelation last year when our daughter was 6 months, now our Son is 10 I’d gotten used to at least being able to sit and have a nice meal in a restaurant, and maybe, if there were other kids about his age he could hang out with in sight, but out of earshot we might even enjoy a nice drink afterwards – family holidays were something I looked forward to, hell, the last family holiday before Daughter came we went to Morzine and had a glorious week – we took nice walks, went swimming, they rode horses, I had a day in the mountains on my bike alone, then another with them on the kiddie runs. We ate in nice restaurants every night and our Son found a nice international group of kids to play with till 11pm in the square as we had a few drinks and then he took the mick out of “drunk Dad” on the way home (I wasn’t really drunk, but certainly merry).

Now starting all over again, I know that it’s going to be another couple of years again until they’re not just graft. We’re going to Centre Parcs this year, in France – the British ones fill me with dread, at least in France I can escape the Parc and see some France. They serve a purpose, there’s a lake side beach, I can’t stand beaches but if I had to pick, I’d choose a lake over the sea any day, my Wife will want to lay in the Sun and doze, which I find boring – so I’ll keep the kids happy so she can do just that – if the weather is bad it’s like trying to keep a stroppy teenager happy so there’s the dome – it’ll be busy and noisy which makes me stressed and edgy, but I’ll take it. The restaurants will probably be a bit rubbish and over-priced in the great tradition of these sorts of places, but I’ll grin and pay the bill with a smile, I’ll sing along with my Daughter to the Frozen soundtrack and won’t care what anyone else thinks, I’ll scare myself silly on the high ropes with my fearless, stupidly good at indoor climbing Son and with the best will in the world, we’ll be back in the Chalet by 9pm so little one can sleep but there’s Wi-Fi and a TV so worst case I can fire up some telly or read. I’ll do all of the driving, most of the paying, all of the fetching and carrying and none of it is ‘my thing’ but I don’t care, if I can get a nice smile out of the 3 of them it’ll do me – if all the planets align and I can keep them all happy AT THE SAME TIME I’ll be ecstatic (mostly because I’ve got a pass for Les Arcs with my Mates).

4 months and you still haven’t learned your new place in the pecking order.
No not ungrateful , your wife seems a bit selfish imho .