The grave yard is full of heroes.
Like she had a stroke and reacted by dying? That’s just disrespectful. Expected better of you, Tucker
Pretty good! 😆
I refuse to be drawn into a battle of wits with you; I was brought up never to attack a man who was incapable of defending himself.
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for those with windswept and interesting locks
“looks like they brushed their hair with a toffee apple!”
Don’t kick a fresh turd on a hot day
Your favourite ‘saying’.
‘What cake do you want?’
I’ll go to the foot of our stairs.
It’s a baw hair oot It’s a rattling guid fit Tights tight
“If you are looking for sympathy it comes between shit and syphilis in a dictionary”
Shit happens.
“Do one legged ducks swim in circles?” “Does mouse shit roll?”
“It’s no way to run a railroad” I like to drop it, calmly, onto the end of a furious rant.
yossarian – Member
‘He had a face like a haunted cave’
Is brilliant.
Desperation makes fools of us all.
&
She’s got a face like a bag of smashed crabs.
She’s got a face like a smacked arse She’s got a face like a bulldog blowing up a football
Put your foot down with a heavy hand
a couple of mine
She’s got a face like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle
or
She’s got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
oh and I forgot one I’m constantly repeating at work
‘this lot couldn’t run a bath’
Don’t do today what you can put off till tomorrow
I try and use “she’s got a face like fire damaged Lego” as often as possible…
Face like a blind cobbler’s thumb.
Some people are walking a fine line between funny sayings and bulls**t bingo gold here…
Mines the one about arguing with morons
That and ‘ringfence the unicorn’, obviously
I was born at night but not last night.
As much use as a hair net in a thunder storm.
If C***s could fly you’d be a squadron leader.
I’m so hungry I’d eat the beard of Moses.
She looked like a bulldog licking pissy nettles.
As much use as fanny fart.
either that or a load of profanisaurus entries. anyway: ‘i can explain it to you, but i can’t understand it for you’ ‘keep up the work’
Old Boney has a few favourites
“Thick as a whale omelette”
“how can I soar with the eagles when I’m surrounded by turkeys?”
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, you’re a mile away, and you have his shoes.”
Stop digging when you’re in a hole.
You can out lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.
Seems to sum up a whole range of work and life issues!
I like a few actually –
“Colder than a witches tit” – when refering to cold stuff.
“I’ve seen more meat on a butchers pencil” – when refering to skinny folk.
“life is not a rehearsal”
“The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse to the trap gets the cheese”
“one life, live it”
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the Stars” – Oscar Wilde
“There is always hope” Originally from Lord of the rings, but also made famous by Banksy.
“At night all cats are grey” “Don’t trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die” “Is that acausal syncronicity or coincidence?”
Nipples like chapel hat pegs
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
‘theres no I in team’ ‘no, but there is a me’
What’s the beef, chief?
Also, although I have tried to stop it:
You can’t fight city hall.
Face like a haunted cave is ace, nicking that. 🙂
I quite like ‘delusions of adequacy’.
Is that supposed to happen?
tomhoward – Member
‘theres no I in team’
Overheard- “There’s no U in team either”
Shaking like Jesus on a jelly cross.
saleem – Member
Marvellous
I’m not bald, it’s a solar panel for a sex machine.
“But it’s night!”
“I know :(”
old fave from my dear old departed mate Nobby
You might as well have a pi55 in your best hat 😀
And new addition
as blind as a welders dog
enjoyed “face like a haunted cave” reminded me of a mate in Glasgow telling me about a girl he was seeing with dodgy teeth…
She had a mouth like a blown fuse box….
Shaking like a shitting dog.
Upon leaving the bathroom…I should give it a minute if i were you.
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