😀 No, about a month late. Wasn’t allowed to work near machinery until he got the all clear from the concussion.

I got a morning off though, the boss said he’d sack him instantly if he drove to the hospital.

A guy we worked with phoned up once claiming that he wouldn’t be in due to his wife being mauled by their kitten (his exact words).

He phoned another time claiming that he wouldn’t be in as he was “as weak as a kitten”

He obviously had an affinity for miniaturised apex predators.

Or maybe he was the one that mauled his wife?

standard civil service attitude.

Not at our place. However, the number of times I’ve called suppliers to order stuff at 4.30 on a Friday to be told they can’t take the order until Monday is becoming quite frustrating. I guess the private sector isn’t so efficient after all…

My mate owns a smallish company and employs about twenty people, whenever someone new starts and inevitably chucks a Monday morning sicky he just asks them if they want the day as paid or unpaid leave, end of story, they’re always astonished that they don’t get paid for sick days, very few sickies get chucked after that.

very few sickies get chucked after that.

Quite!

And yet people do get ill.

On the other hand. Used to work in service/bike build at Planet X. One morning i began to feel really odd, numbness in my arms, heart palpitations, dizzyness. A colleague had the presence of mind to run next door which was an ambulance training centre. One of their guys gave me the once over, said he suspected I’d had a stroke and the told them to ring an ambulance to get me to Rotherham gereral asap. I had several tests and was told to not work until the results were known. I returned to work a few days later after being given the all clear to find that my pay had been stopped before I’d even got to the hospital. Nice place to work.

Talking of the civil service..rang one dept to query something that had come through, was told to ring back in the morning as “his eyes dont work very well after 3pm and wont be able to help you. Best time is between 8-12”

cant make this stuff up !

pistonbroke – sounds familiar.,

one of our guys got malaria at work 3 days before going home.

Ended up in the clinic for a week missed his flights etc.

came off his time off.

They’ve never had much of my money before – but they are getting none now pistonbroke.  Bastards!

For those of you worrying about the well-being of my colleague, she seems to have found a potential cure. A Friday night of selfie taking out on the piss in town, then uploading everything to Instagram. Hope it works…

I returned to work a few days later after being given the all clear to find that my pay had been stopped before I’d even got to the hospital. Nice place to work.

Nice to see at least one part of the operation is run with brisk efficiency. ****!

Last year during half term, I took a massive tumble at BPW, proper sore neck and back. Had to travel to a wedding a few days later in Austria, where when I was very drunk on the dance floor had a dance off (think Starksy & Hutch film minus the drug taking), ended with me doing the eagle (check out scrubs).

Next day I could not walk or turn to look sideways….. I had to phone up my boss and tell him I had to have a few days off…..did not mention the dance off. They even mentioned my days off due to mtb accidents in my leaving speech.

“A woman in our dept took three days after her rabbit died.”

What, I can have a rabbit gutted and skinned and in a casserole in less than an hour.

Most rubbish reason I’ve ever heard was from me.  Called my boss from at 9am from Chamonix to say I’d had to miss my flight due to food poisoning.  Blue skies and fresh snow…

I’d been up since midnight being sick (or just dry heaving) heaving every 15 minutes.  My mate said “tell him it you’ve got concussion instead – food poisoning is a shit excuse.”  I didn’t. Maybe I should have.  Didn’t ask my boss when I got back whether he’d believed me or not.

And yet people do get ill.

Sick pay is forthcoming on production of a doctor’s note, simple.

we had a guy once call in because he stuck his head under the tap to wash his hair but the the water was so hot he jerked back and gave himself whiplash.

<div class=”bbp-reply-author”>“catfood
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Sick pay is forthcoming on production of a doctor’s note, simple.”

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https://www.gov.uk/taking-sick-leave

Out of all the shitty things I’ve heard about On One and Planet X, that up there takes the biscuit. Bunch of absolute bastards. I’ve never bought anything off them and now definitely won’t in future.

I’ve never bought anything off them and now definitely won’t in future.

🙂

One of my colleagues had a stroke at 5am yesterday morning.

He’s in hospital unable to utter a word and with severe motor impairment down one side of his body.

When HR were told about it first thing this morning their immediate response was “We’ll need to get his laptop and phone back ASAP!”

Heartless cows. 🙁

I had a stroke morning too, it didn’t me late for work though

You know that people who work in HR departments have to do tests to show that they’re totally devoid of all human emotion before they’re given the job, right?

Northwind I can’t see anything in that that says he has to pay people til statutory kicks in, he can’t make people take it as part of their paid annual leave but can can ask them to take it unpaid, he’s not rich so it comes out of his pocket otherwise. Long term illness is a totally different thing natch.

As someone who’s been self employed for 25 years and never been paid a penny in sick leave or holidays including recovering from a couple of ops I find it ridiculous that people with a guaranteed income expect to be paid for days they can’t be bothered to rack up for.

Just my opinion obvs, others may differ.

I give you one word:

Blosters (AKA blisters)

I received a handwritten note from employees wife – detailing that he had really bad blosters – my supervisor at the time was on the floor peeing himself with laughter unsurprisingly. Needless to say emp. didn’t last long.

A guy we worked with phoned up once claiming that he wouldn’t be in due to his wife being mauled by their kitten (his exact words).

A bloke I worked with years ago brought a kitten into work that he’d picked up on his way in, to take home that evening. He took it out the back of the building to let it get some fresh air and it took off out of the box and shot under an old van parked between us and a neighbouring building.

He tried everything to entice it out, but had to go home with it still underneath the van.

He came in next morning and went straight back to see if he could use food to get it to come out, which it did, eventually, and he grabbed it and got it into the box.

When he came back up to the studio he looked ghastly, a horrible pale greyish colour, and his hands were scratched to pieces!

He was sent home, after a trip up to A&E, and he was off for three days. He was a graphic artist, mind, and he needed his hands to draw with, but the only person I’ve ever seen who looked worse was lying dead in the road after a motorbike accident, and I’m not exaggerating how ill my colleague looked.

Didn’t work

One of my staff has just called in sick for the second day in a row with “too tired to come in to work as I haven’t slept well because I had a headache”

I had a headache for 8 days once; couldn’t have worked during that time – it was horrid! The first Dr I saw (after 3 days) said “It can’t be meningitis as you’d be dead by now”

A regular sickie puller after payday (used to go on 2 or 3 day benders after getting paid) at my sister’s workplace was told if it happened again he would be sacked, sure enough next month he doesn’t show up for a couple of days and pronounced that he’d had a heart attack when he did turn up.

My sister asked him if he’d been to the doctor’s “ah madam it was only a small heart attack” was all she could get out of him 😁

On reflection, phoning in sick would have been preferable to throwing up four times at work and falling asleep for 2 hours at lunchtime but my boss was only upset because I hadn’t invited along to the bender – it was the early 80’s after all…

“I once had a guy who turned up about 2 hours late, claimed he knocked himself out hitting his head on the bathroom cabinet.”

…And that’s how he came up with the idea for the Flux Capacitor 😉

A former colleague of mine didn’t come in one day as he found a cow wandering around his garden, perhaps an acceptable excuse in the country but this was Islington.

My big career break was filling in for six months for a guy who got so ill from cellphone radiation that he couldn’t get out of bed. I never met him, but he was apparently into the tinfoil hat stuff and all, completely mental according to his friends. He hung around being sick for as long as he could get paid then headed off to Nepal to seek spiritual enlightenment. To be fair to him, it was a horrible place to work, an old wartime building due for demolition, full of asbestos and engineering and chemistry labs with hazardous chemicals all over the place.

I used to ‘ work’ for t’ Council and the Head Of Economic Development would always book three days ‘off sick’ in addition to his paid holiday leave on the grounds he would always pick up a bug when he was abroad.