Work “mates”, Christmas and all that bollox

I really like who I work with now, the “Christmas do” is an unofficial meet in a pub. Starts art 4pm though so expect to back in hotel room stuffing junk food by 9.

The more official department “party” is the day before though turn out is not expected to be good as a lot of international staff will have gone abroad to see families.

We have a quiz in the office at 12pm and then a sit-down meal somewhere nearby…after that it’s usually 3pmish and people are free to either stay out drinking or go home as they please.

I feel like this is the right way to do it as nobody has to travel anywhere they don’t usually go to to get to the office anyway and the only people who stay out drinking are the ones who actually want to be there, no pressure on anyone else.

I like my colleagues so it’s all good but I could imagine probably resenting any kind of forced corporate days out. I mean, I quite like getting smashed if I’m honest but much less so if it’s some sort of obligation.

I ‘suffer’ from social anxiety and have food issues. I was vegetarian for 15 years (in the 80’s & 90’s) when veggie meant a ham salad or quiche… I was always a problem. I don’t really enjoy meat and avoid in the most part sticking to (Mainly) chicken… Xmas meals are an anathema to me full of the foods I dislike (pigs in blankets, sprouts, etc). It’s really not fun and I always feel ‘difficult’ when out.

For what it’s worth, you aren’t alone.

The social thing I deal with by being bloody-minded enough to view it as a challenge to be tackled. Like, I went out to meet a few from STW earlier this week and honestly, it was difficult. But I did it, I got out of the house, I put my game face on and I had a great night.

The food thing is probably way off-topic so I’ll not dwell on it, but it’s one of the driving reasons for me being veggie. If someone arranges an event around food I’ll pour over the menu and in a lot of cases will likely have “eaten before I came out” by the time I get there. Maybe push a sad little bowl of chips about. The STW meet had pizza (it looked like top-notch pizza at that) but I’m allergic to cheese and have little desire to entertain “vegan cheese” so I didn’t partake. They alternative would be having to face an awkward conversation around the possibility of getting a pizza without cheese whilst dying of embarrassment. On a Christmas dinner I find myself having to have bizarre discussions about whether potatoes are vegetarian. I am painfully aware that it is my problem and it’s an inconvenience for everyone else which I try to minimise wherever possible; if my friends want to go out to a steakhouse then I’ll go to a steakhouse, maybe they’ll have a tomato soup or something #stressworryfret

OK, that was overlong after all. Point was, I can sympathise.

Our work culture needs a bit of work, so I’m getting involved, but not overly encouraging others to do so. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.

Point was, I can sympathise.

I suspect the root cause is probably similar… (non-NT).

Some people think is its just being awkward and ‘get over yourself’. This is ‘just life’ for me 🤪

They alternative would be having to face an awkward conversation around the possibility of getting a pizza without cheese whilst dying of embarrassment.

I know this is just a detail, but have another look one of these days – cheese doesn’t like me either, but over the last few years I’ve seen a lot more pizzas that are ‘designed’ without cheese. Pizza Hut might not be the place, but I’ll bet your local Rustic Craft Ale and Sourdough Pizza Served By Chefs With Sleeve Tattoos Emporium will have a couple of cheese free options on the menu. I had one at my Xmas do on Friday, as it happens. (because yeah, vegan cheese is not worth the paper it’s printed on)

I suspect the root cause is probably similar… (non-NT).

Some people think is its just being awkward and ‘get over yourself’. This is ‘just life’ for me

It might still be possible to change though! Depends what exactly you’re referring to. We’ve discussed this on here before, but MrsDoris has had fairly severe food avoidance issues and leans somewhat ASD. She has made significant progress in her 40’s through a combination of counselling and me trying to be as helpful and supportive as I can. It’s relative, of course, I doubt she’ll ever try mayonnaise, and there are still plenty of Definite No’s. But it’s been enough to make ‘going out for a meal’ a much less stressful experience. So don’t write yourself off altogether!

Wow. Here’s a photo from a 1979 Christmas office do that I’d never have imagined existing in a million years.

The guy in the middle is the assistant disablement resettlement officer at Macclesfield job centre. Not his best known role……