Viewing 36 posts - 41 through 76 (of 76 total)
  • What happened in my house last night?
  • Premier Icon falkirk-mark
    Full Member

    Alexa has turned in to a bunny boiler for something you have done. It is only going to get worse from now on.

    Premier Icon IHN
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    Wombat turds

    Didn’t I hear them do a live set on Marc Radcliffe’s show on R6M?

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Full Member

    Did you check you’re kids heads weren’t spinning?

    Almost certainly a ghost unless the Dog’s playing games with you.   Sleep well.

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Full Member

    Premier Icon creakingdoor
    Free Member

    OP – do you live in Borley Rectory?

    “Marianne, please get help…”

    Premier Icon funkmasterp
    Full Member

    Alexa has simply gained control of the manual switches and is one step closer to becoming sentient. It set your phone off on purpose so you’d see the lights. This is stage one of operation Amazon.

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    You’re all mistaking Koala’s with Drop Bears.

    Premier Icon derek_starship
    Free Member

    I always thought the word poltergeist is German for “noisy ghost.”
    It is actually German for “rumble ghost.”

    I suspect you have a “Lichtschaltergeist.”

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Full Member

    Occam’s razor:

    1) Someone was sleepwalking. Possibly you after being unusually disturbed at 12:15am.

    2) One of the kids did it and is lying because they don’t want to get in trouble for knocking about at 1 in the morning.

    3) Someone within is pranking you.

    4) Someone without is pranking you. Who do you know who has a spare key?

    5) The dog has learned how to jump up at light switches.

    Premier Icon Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    I read a story once about a guy from Glasgow who’s nickname was ‘the exorcist’, as he never left your house until all your spirits were gone.

    I’d find him.

    Premier Icon perchypanther
    Free Member

    6) Koala.

    7) Human trying to incriminate a koala.

    9) The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.

    Premier Icon schrickvr6
    Free Member

    1337 P0lt3rg31st HaXx0rz

    Premier Icon fossy
    Full Member

    I thought about putting a smart socket/plug for the router so I could kill the internet if the teens wouldn’t get off it, then I realised I’d need internet for the thing to switch back on – doh !!!

    Premier Icon perchypanther
    Free Member

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Full Member

    The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.

    Someone ban him FFS.

    Re kids sleepwalking – there’s always a first time, plus it doesn’t need to be regular. I had a weird night time hallucination weirdness thing when I was a kid, just once.

    Premier Icon dukeduvet
    Full Member

    Did you not know that Alexa is part of a global conspiracy to control the world? In America it forced people to vote Biden by subliminal messaging while they slept. Rudi has evidence and I read it on t’internet so its all real. Starts with the lights switching on and off apparently…

    Premier Icon cromolyolly
    Free Member

    Need more info. Were there any frozen sausages hammered into anything? Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Do I need to get a priest in to burn the house down?

    No priest required just petrol, match and marshmallows

    Or a deep fat friar

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    has anyone cracked open an Alexa and looked inside?

    Premier Icon eddiebaby
    Full Member

    Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?

    Premier Icon riklegge
    Full Member

    Or a deep fat friar

    Nice work.

    Premier Icon scaredypants
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    Thought so. I’ll sacrifice a small goat later to scare them off.

    A kid

    You need to sacrifice a kid. Got any? Oh yeah. The others will soon learn

    Premier Icon singletrackmind
    Full Member

    Nycloptic Koala broke into your house looking for sausage?
    Didnt find any so left, leaving the light on and collapsed in the street and didnt require medical attention

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Could a Koala be arsed?

    all to willingly- that’s how they get chlamydia

    It sounds like the dog got arsed too – slowly but very deliberately. So expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering bill

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?

    No.

    But the Chlamydia infested Koala is.
    Be afraid.

    Premier Icon jimmy748
    Free Member

    Has anyone in the household had a flu jab recently, and a 5G mast nearby? This could be Beta testing of the control chip.

    Premier Icon kongman28
    Free Member

    You can check Alexa commands in the Alexa app to see if there were any strange late night requests by children if they have Alexa’s.

    Premier Icon spicer
    Free Member

    I reckon it was you sleepwalking

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Full Member

    Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?

    Well, I laughed.

    expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering bill

    There’s a pelican too?

    Premier Icon franksinatra
    Full Member

    Or a deep fat friar

    This deserves more recognition. Excellent work

    Premier Icon FunkyDunc
    Free Member

    I think it was Robin

    Or your local friendly drug addict who popped in to say hello and forgot to switch the lights off when he left

    Premier Icon CountZero
    Full Member

    Can Koalas get high enough to turn in to Drop Bears?

    How high does a eucalyptus grow?

    Could a Koala be arsed? They would probably get a Wombat to do it for them. Did you find any Wombat turds this morning?

    Nah, they get quolls to do it – nobody suspects a quoll…

    I mean, look at that cute little face…

    Premier Icon allanoleary
    Full Member

    Rogue elf on a shelf?

    Premier Icon theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Rogue elf on a shelf?

    It was supposed to be secret but I’ve been allowed to tell you special folk at STW about it now. It’s a new offering; where they are less than busy currently because all the shops are closed and consequently toys aren’t being bought at the same rate, they’ve followed the gov instructions to reskill. So they’ve branched out into a fairyfolk version of these home hub setups. It’s only a pilot in your area currently but if it proves popular it’ll be rolled out across the country later.

    It’ll be called the National Elf Service.

    Premier Icon Drac
    Full Member

    You forgot to switch them off like you normally do.

    Premier Icon Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    Koalas? Amateurs. It’s all about the raccoons man.

Viewing 36 posts - 41 through 76 (of 76 total)

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