What happened in my house last night?
Alexa has turned in to a bunny boiler for something you have done. It is only going to get worse from now on.Posted 1 week ago
Didn’t I hear them do a live set on Marc Radcliffe’s show on R6M?Posted 1 week ago
Did you check you’re kids heads weren’t spinning?
Almost certainly a ghost unless the Dog’s playing games with you. Sleep well.Posted 1 week agoPosted 1 week ago
OP – do you live in Borley Rectory?
“Marianne, please get help…”Posted 1 week ago
Alexa has simply gained control of the manual switches and is one step closer to becoming sentient. It set your phone off on purpose so you’d see the lights. This is stage one of operation Amazon.Posted 1 week ago
You’re all mistaking Koala’s with Drop Bears.Posted 1 week ago
I always thought the word poltergeist is German for “noisy ghost.”
It is actually German for “rumble ghost.”
I suspect you have a “Lichtschaltergeist.”Posted 1 week ago
1) Someone was sleepwalking. Possibly you after being unusually disturbed at 12:15am.
2) One of the kids did it and is lying because they don’t want to get in trouble for knocking about at 1 in the morning.
3) Someone within is pranking you.
4) Someone without is pranking you. Who do you know who has a spare key?
5) The dog has learned how to jump up at light switches.Posted 1 week ago
I read a story once about a guy from Glasgow who’s nickname was ‘the exorcist’, as he never left your house until all your spirits were gone.
I’d find him.Posted 1 week ago
7) Human trying to incriminate a koala.
9) The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.Posted 1 week ago
1337 P0lt3rg31st HaXx0rzPosted 1 week ago
I thought about putting a smart socket/plug for the router so I could kill the internet if the teens wouldn’t get off it, then I realised I’d need internet for the thing to switch back on – doh !!!Posted 1 week agoPosted 1 week ago
The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.
Someone ban him FFS.
Re kids sleepwalking – there’s always a first time, plus it doesn’t need to be regular. I had a weird night time hallucination weirdness thing when I was a kid, just once.Posted 1 week ago
Did you not know that Alexa is part of a global conspiracy to control the world? In America it forced people to vote Biden by subliminal messaging while they slept. Rudi has evidence and I read it on t’internet so its all real. Starts with the lights switching on and off apparently…Posted 1 week ago
Need more info. Were there any frozen sausages hammered into anything? Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?Posted 1 week ago
Do I need to get a priest in to burn the house down?
No priest required just petrol, match and marshmallows
Or a deep fat friarPosted 1 week ago
has anyone cracked open an Alexa and looked inside?Posted 1 week ago
Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?Posted 1 week ago
Or a deep fat friar
Nice work.Posted 1 week ago
Thought so. I’ll sacrifice a small goat later to scare them off.
You need to sacrifice a kid. Got any? Oh yeah. The others will soon learnPosted 1 week ago
Nycloptic Koala broke into your house looking for sausage?Posted 1 week ago
Didnt find any so left, leaving the light on and collapsed in the street and didnt require medical attention
Could a Koala be arsed?
all to willingly- that’s how they get chlamydia
It sounds like the dog got arsed too – slowly but very deliberately. So expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering billPosted 1 week ago
Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?
But the Chlamydia infested Koala is.Posted 1 week ago
Has anyone in the household had a flu jab recently, and a 5G mast nearby? This could be Beta testing of the control chip.Posted 1 week ago
You can check Alexa commands in the Alexa app to see if there were any strange late night requests by children if they have Alexa’s.Posted 1 week ago
I reckon it was you sleepwalkingPosted 1 week ago
Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?
Well, I laughed.
expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering bill
There’s a pelican too?Posted 1 week ago
Or a deep fat friar
This deserves more recognition. Excellent workPosted 1 week ago
I think it was Robin
Or your local friendly drug addict who popped in to say hello and forgot to switch the lights off when he leftPosted 1 week ago
Can Koalas get high enough to turn in to Drop Bears?
How high does a eucalyptus grow?
Could a Koala be arsed? They would probably get a Wombat to do it for them. Did you find any Wombat turds this morning?
Nah, they get quolls to do it – nobody suspects a quoll…
I mean, look at that cute little face…Posted 1 week ago
Rogue elf on a shelf?Posted 1 week ago
Rogue elf on a shelf?
It was supposed to be secret but I’ve been allowed to tell you special folk at STW about it now. It’s a new offering; where they are less than busy currently because all the shops are closed and consequently toys aren’t being bought at the same rate, they’ve followed the gov instructions to reskill. So they’ve branched out into a fairyfolk version of these home hub setups. It’s only a pilot in your area currently but if it proves popular it’ll be rolled out across the country later.
It’ll be called the National Elf Service.Posted 1 week ago
You forgot to switch them off like you normally do.Posted 1 week ago
Koalas? Amateurs. It’s all about the raccoons man.Posted 1 week ago
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