Alexa has turned in to a bunny boiler for something you have done. It is only going to get worse from now on.

Wombat turds

Didn’t I hear them do a live set on Marc Radcliffe’s show on R6M?

Did you check you’re kids heads weren’t spinning?

Almost certainly a ghost unless the Dog’s playing games with you.   Sleep well.

OP – do you live in Borley Rectory?

“Marianne, please get help…”

Alexa has simply gained control of the manual switches and is one step closer to becoming sentient. It set your phone off on purpose so you’d see the lights. This is stage one of operation Amazon.

You’re all mistaking Koala’s with Drop Bears.

I always thought the word poltergeist is German for “noisy ghost.”
It is actually German for “rumble ghost.”

I suspect you have a “Lichtschaltergeist.”

Occam’s razor:

1) Someone was sleepwalking. Possibly you after being unusually disturbed at 12:15am.

2) One of the kids did it and is lying because they don’t want to get in trouble for knocking about at 1 in the morning.

3) Someone within is pranking you.

4) Someone without is pranking you. Who do you know who has a spare key?

5) The dog has learned how to jump up at light switches.

I read a story once about a guy from Glasgow who’s nickname was ‘the exorcist’, as he never left your house until all your spirits were gone.

I’d find him.

6) Koala.

7) Human trying to incriminate a koala.

9) The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.

1337 P0lt3rg31st HaXx0rz

I thought about putting a smart socket/plug for the router so I could kill the internet if the teens wouldn’t get off it, then I realised I’d need internet for the thing to switch back on – doh !!!

The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.

Someone ban him FFS.

Re kids sleepwalking – there’s always a first time, plus it doesn’t need to be regular. I had a weird night time hallucination weirdness thing when I was a kid, just once.

Did you not know that Alexa is part of a global conspiracy to control the world? In America it forced people to vote Biden by subliminal messaging while they slept. Rudi has evidence and I read it on t’internet so its all real. Starts with the lights switching on and off apparently…

Need more info. Were there any frozen sausages hammered into anything? Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?

Do I need to get a priest in to burn the house down?

No priest required just petrol, match and marshmallows

Or a deep fat friar

has anyone cracked open an Alexa and looked inside?

Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?

Or a deep fat friar

Nice work.

Thought so. I’ll sacrifice a small goat later to scare them off.

A kid

You need to sacrifice a kid. Got any? Oh yeah. The others will soon learn

Nycloptic Koala broke into your house looking for sausage?
Didnt find any so left, leaving the light on and collapsed in the street and didnt require medical attention

Could a Koala be arsed?

all to willingly- that’s how they get chlamydia

It sounds like the dog got arsed too – slowly but very deliberately. So expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering bill

Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?

No.

But the Chlamydia infested Koala is.
Be afraid.

Has anyone in the household had a flu jab recently, and a 5G mast nearby? This could be Beta testing of the control chip.

You can check Alexa commands in the Alexa app to see if there were any strange late night requests by children if they have Alexa’s.

I reckon it was you sleepwalking

Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?

Well, I laughed.

expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering bill

There’s a pelican too?

Or a deep fat friar

This deserves more recognition. Excellent work

I think it was Robin

Or your local friendly drug addict who popped in to say hello and forgot to switch the lights off when he left

Can Koalas get high enough to turn in to Drop Bears?

How high does a eucalyptus grow?

Could a Koala be arsed? They would probably get a Wombat to do it for them. Did you find any Wombat turds this morning?

Nah, they get quolls to do it – nobody suspects a quoll…

I mean, look at that cute little face…

Rogue elf on a shelf?

Rogue elf on a shelf?

It was supposed to be secret but I’ve been allowed to tell you special folk at STW about it now. It’s a new offering; where they are less than busy currently because all the shops are closed and consequently toys aren’t being bought at the same rate, they’ve followed the gov instructions to reskill. So they’ve branched out into a fairyfolk version of these home hub setups. It’s only a pilot in your area currently but if it proves popular it’ll be rolled out across the country later.

It’ll be called the National Elf Service.

You forgot to switch them off like you normally do.

Koalas? Amateurs. It’s all about the raccoons man.