Welcome to Cancer Club – family membership

I thought about posting this last week, but I wasn’t sure if there was any point. But now I think there is.

My Dad (65) had a routine poo test recently that found anomalies, and sure enough one dose of picolax type substance later there’s a tumour up there. After a week of waiting for some sort of scan looking for cats, it turns out that it hasn’t spread.

There’s already an operation scheduled for a few weeks’ time, and I assume there’ll be a course of just-in-case chemo.

Is that realistic? Anyone got any tips to share?

No tips; just be supportive as I’m sure you will. Bowel surgery for cancer cones in a million different variations so direct advice is difficult.

..it might change your relationship with your dad, I’ve been through a similar thing with my dad, and we became …equals… in an odd way.

just be supportive as I’m sure you will.

Seconded. At this stage, this is about all you really can do. My father went through the very same a couple of years ago. It was horrible, hard work for all the family and very stressful. He decided, however, that he didn’t really want to have cancer any more, so he fought, and fought, and fought. We supported, and supported and supported.

He won.

I wish you and your family the same success.

DONT.. use the internet as a source of information. speak candidly to a dr you trust,
good luck to you and your family.

My mother had that a few years ago and as far as the cancer was concerned it was all fairly routine as far as the op went. She wasn’t in the hosptial for more than three days and didn’t need any chemo so don’t assume that it will be requried.

Unfortunately there were some significant post operative complications but that can happen with any op, not just cancer, and she is not as fully recovered as one can be.

No specific knowledge just wishes that everything goes well.

My Father in-law had bowel cancer a few years ago. They managed to remove the mass without the need for chemo. He did have a stoma bag for 6 months after the operation and had to change his diet whilst he had it though, but I guess that’s a small price to pay for his health though.

Good luck and I hope all goes well.

My fathers positive attitude and his ability to fight his cancer has amazed his Doctor and our family. Lot to be said for a positive attitude (wish I’d inherited it!)

GF, my mum is in the same position, not good.

Mol grips. Best wishes to you all. My dad got through prostrate cancer two years ago but I am currently enduring him being in intensive care with a heart condition. My advice from this is don’t be reactive. Question, question, question. Make the doctors talk to you, in my experience it has been/is very difficult to get enough correct information. Use the Internet with discretion. Talk to as many people as possible: for advice, for comfort and dare I say it for perspective (I hope understand this point). Remember that new cocktails of drugs can do many weird things to people ( eg affecting blood pressure, continence etc) and it can be difficult to determine cause and effect. View recovery as a trend and ignore any day- to-day setbacks. They will happen. Engage friends and family, these are stressful times, best shared with other. Good luck!

My Dad (65) had a routine poo test recently that found anomalies, and sure enough one dose of picolax type substance later there’s a tumour up there. After a week of waiting for some sort of scan looking for cats, it turns out that it hasn’t spread.

That last bit is very good news, if it hasn’t spread. Survival rates for bowel cancer are very good

That last bit is very good news, if it hasn’t spread. Survival rates for bowel cancer are very good

+1 !!

think positive, be positive 🙂

another +1 on it changing the relationship with your father.

good luck, and dont forget its ok to seek support for when you’re worried/struggling… it’s hard on the family too.

Yeah I had heard that survival rates are very good too.

Just be there if he wants it, don’t let this *change* your relationship with you dad, just be who you have always been.

From personal experience it will change your relationship with your parents, its upto you if its for the better or not.

The odds are very good, but regardless your Dad will need lots of emotional support (and so will your Mum if she is still about) as its a terrifying thing to be confronted by your own mortality, plus the side effects of the Chemo (which he will more than likely have after they cut the cancer out) can be pretty unpleasant, so try and remember/remind your Dad that he must’en suffer in silence, as if the Doctors don’t know about it they can’t help!

Also and this is very important don’t be afraid of being a PITA to ensure that the odds swing in your favour!

Just remember always be positive, even if its a matter of turd polishing as depression can follow the diagnosis and regardless of how you feel you need to be stupidly positive about everything even though it may feel slightly ridiculous at times.

We unfortunately have family membership of that club also, I had a colon tumor removed in 2004 with a course of follow up “just in case” chemo after.Both my dad and mother in law died from cancer so my kids will possible need to have proactive scans in the future as cancer has been on both sides of the family.

As already mentioned survival rates for bowel cancer are now much higher and it sounds as if your dad has been diagnosed before things have spread too far.Personally the worse bit was the picolax for all the follow up colonoscopies I’ve had.
Good luck to you all

Father-in-law starts chemo next week for recently diagnosed liver cancer but it’s not looking good.

My wife is going through the mill with it because her mum and brother seem to be “burying their head in the sand” a little but I suppose everyone reacts differently I suppose.

He’s not in the best of health anyway (heart) so I’m not sure how much of a battler he’ll be. I’m just trying to be there for both him and my wife.

fingers crossed and positive thoughts for everyone posting on here

From personal experience it will change your relationship with your parents

It didn’t for me. I was with my mum daily in the last few weeks before her death but it didn’t *change* anything. But then we were always very close so I guess it wouldn’t have done/

Mother-in-law had pretty much exactly the same thing last year. Op done really swiftly, couple of days in hospital followed by 12 months chemo which she has just had the all clear from!
As has been mentioned be positive, supportive and help out where you can, the chemo can really takes it toll but then it’s there to sort out a nasty disease, best of luck and hope all goes well.

I had my grandad die of bone cancer and my sister is currently fighting ovarian cancer, having had 2 surgeries, chemo and now radiotherapy.

One thing we found was some hospitals/ consultants are great, others seem to be terrible at actually speaking to you straight and giving you information.

Obviously the internet isn’t the place for questions really, but Mrs Scud is a radiotherapist in a cancer clinic, so may be able to help of you need any general advice.

The majority of cases of bowel cancer are curable these days and surgery is not as much of a big deal as it used to be.
Chemo will depend on what they remove and how fit your dad is.

Hope all goes well.

molgrips, my Dad was in exactly the same position, his was discovered after some tests on a suspected urinary tract infection that turned out to be prostate cancer.

Roughly the same age too.

His hadn’t spread and he had it removed, he was given options, treat it with radiotherapy or operate…he wanted rid of it and chose the operation. That was 3/4 years ago and it hasn’t come back (he has regular check ups). He lives in Italy, and is being treated there, but I would imagine the treatment would be the same. The only negative is incontinence (I hope Dad doesn’t read this, he’d kill me for telling the internet!), it gets worse if he has a beer.

As I understand it that side affect depends on the operation, how well it went and how much they have to remove.

I can’t access BBCi from work, but recently there was a program about cancer treatments at the Royal Marston…we watched it as my FiL is currently being treated for cancer (much more serious than my Dads).

Best wishes and healing vibes .

My mum was diagnosed with cancer of the stomach wall last year. At 82 we thought thats it – if the cancer doesn’t get her then the chemo will kill her off.

She went through a pretty tough time, but the cancer has all but gone and she’s now fairly healthy.

It would be stupid to say it hasn’t taken its toll on her but she’s still alive, we didn’t expect that this time last year.

You will go through a hard time but do try and stay positive and try not to let it consume you. If you want to talk my emails in my profile.

Hope all goes well and my thoughts are with you and your family.

Good luck.

No experience here Molmol, but just passing on best wishes and positive vibes your way. Stay steady matey.

My Gran survived bowel cancer.

Thanks for all the support folks. I’m quite ok so far, because I realised that it was detected early and he’s not dying, he just needs an operation. I was saving up all the soul searching and deep stuff til he was fighting for his life.

If things stay positive that might not be needed 🙂

Positive vibes to you all as well in gratitude.

Only have experience with a friend who had breast cancer, so not much help there – healing vibes and good wishes to you and your father though.

Plenty of experience here unfortunately..
My younger brother got diagnosed with Bowel cancer 5 years ago,(aged 29) the tumour burst before they could remove it, so further down the line it spread to his Liver and lungs.
Hes had 4 big ops (including having half his liver removed) and 5 courses of chemo but is still fighting…
As for prognosis, nobody knows, he’s lasted longer than all the doctors expected him to, and is still putting up a good fight.
He finished the last lot of chemo two weeks ago, and has just splashed £500 on a new Trek Hybrid, on which he is planning to cycle London to Paris in September.

He is my hero.

Got parental cancer here in the family – was just confirmed this week… difficult times

paul

Update for anyone who’s interested.

He went to Shrewsbury hospital last Monday for the OP. Keyhole surgery went well enough, recovery was a bit grim though. Spent about a week feeling very rough indeed and retching all the time. My mum and sister thought he was dying despite the docs saying that tough recovery was not unusual and they were just waiting for the bowels to start moving again. It took a long time for them to do that but now they are, and he’s home and eating simple foods mostly keeping them down.

No cancer in the lymph nodes either, so prognisis should be good.

The moral of the story – screening is good.

Glad to hear that things went ok Molgrips.

Pass on a hearty “Get Well Soon!” from me please.

All the best for his recovery. Is horrible watching them in hospital in pain and surrounded by tubes. My advice from few years down the line of a different story is take the time when recovered and do some really good stuff together. Bowel cancer is one of the betters ones as I understand for recovery and you sound to have caught it early, but you can never really know its all chance and percentages.

Mother of Homer was diagnosed with a tumour in the oesophagus a little over a year ago. Chemo and then a really serious op and it looked good until about march. But sadly has spread we’re now in the six weeks territory. I was lucky enough to have moved in with my parents a few years ago and very glad I did now. We made the best of her recovered time and it taught me not to take things for granted.

Healing vibes to all others effected. Cancer is quite officially a bag of balls.

Sorry to hear that homer.

Cancer is quite officially a bag of balls.

Amen to that

Hoping for a good result molgrips fingers crossed

I’ll let you know in 5 years.

He got a Kindle 3G out of it, as that’s what we bought him to amuse himself in hospital 🙂

“My Father in-law had bowel cancer a few years ago. They managed to remove the mass without the need for chemo. He did have a stoma bag for 6 months after the operation and had to change his diet whilst he had it though.”

This. The diet change is only to food that will not clog the drainage into the bag. My friend in her early 60’s got diagnosed last year. Just had the op, did not need anything else at all as treatment. The 2 ends of her bowel were rejoined in the autumn after 6 months. She had a bag in the mean time but not everyone gets bagged – she had an additional problem nothing to do with the cancer so they sorted both at the same time. If there had been no additional problem she would have come out of the op with no bag either, just be back to normal. She said the bag was tedious.

She had her 1 year after diagnosis scan last week and is clear. They are now so confident of cures for this and high success rate that she will not be checked again for another 5 years and is back to doing yoga! She was very laid back and relaxed about the whole thing and did not go down the ‘I must fight this’ route as she said she never felt ill, only inconvenienced. Worked for her!

A friends mother had the same procedure in her late 70’s and that was 10 years ago and she is fine. Cliff Richard I believe was ‘bagged’ decades ago.

On the general cancer front, my dad and my sister have both had cancer and they are fine too 10 years later. For lots of people the illness and treatment can prove relatively minor compared to the drama and fear built up around it and the panicked distressed reactions of friends and relatives.

Hope your life goes well, this is just a moment in it. You will be fine, but might find the treatment a bit of a drag at times if you get a temp bag.

One thing to add to this thread:

PLEASE get any symptoms checked out. My mother told me last year that she’d had symptoms “a few years ago” and been told she needed to see a specialist, but put off booking an appointment because she was going on holiday. She never got round to making the appointment until the routine screening picked up a problem.

If she’d got it checked out when she first saw the doctor, it might have been treatable. As it is, she was told she might only have 3 months without treatment; that was Christmas 2010. She’s still having treatment, but it’s only slowing things down and we don’t know how long she’s got.

On a related note, does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can tell her to stop being so bitchy about everyone? She’s taking the approach of “I’m not going to be around much longer, so I’ll just say what I think and not care what anyone else feels” but it’s not particularly nice to have to listen to it, and I don’t really want to remember her as a catty old biddence…

Massive +1 to stealthcat, my mum was having serious indigestion/heart burn issues for i think 2 yrs, and had been to the doctor’s so I thought it was all ok, but it turns out she kept refusing endoscopies in preference of old wives treatments (a glass of hot water and lying on her tummy :?). Mums are like this, its familiar story round my way, too busy holding eveyrthing else together to worry about themselves. I wish I’d being more questioning. 12 to 18 months earlier it would have been a different story.

She just got back from the hospital today, bones have start crumbling and has a fractured leg from just going to the loo before her scan. This is happening so fast.