Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and see how long it takes to smooth out again…

Anything over a second and you’re officially worn out….

I thought that was a test for dehydration?

on my last honeymoon

A phrase full of foreboding…

TBH I don’t recognise any of the symptoms here, other than a little more ear hair.

Yes. My sharting performance is still pretty much the same as several decades ago.

I thought that was a test for dehydration?

Might affect it as well, but do it on an old person (like 80+) and you can make a cup of tea before the fold of skin smooths back over..

Loss of collagen apparently.

57 not doing to badly,

lose of urge to get things done in one sitting
Often put things in the wrong place when my mrs is in the same room as shes so distracting

With regards to “falls” I think between 55 and 75 these are officially* classed as “tumbles” as you can still roll with it a bit and curse loudly. After 75 they are falls as it’s down with a thump and a small strangled cry.
*officially, a definition made by me and my mate in the pub!

stwhannah

To be fair, on my last honeymoon I got terrible food poisoning and was very very ill. Even a reduction in sharting would likely make for an improvement. I should probably start a new thread for the forum to pick over wedding and honeymoon plans with its own special brand of cynicism.

TBH the phrase “On my last honeymoon” did have a sense of “This time it will be all good” and I hope Big Kev has some Imodium ready just in case 😀

Yep I think a lets have a laugh about wedding day cockups & honeymoon traumas thread could be quite the relief for a gloomy Jan/Feb day 🙂

On falls – I would say its the difference between have a good reason for the fall and just falling for no good reason

I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..

Just the one?

55 and 75 these are officially* classed as “tumbles” as you can still roll with it a bit and curse loudly.

An unexpected consequence of aging is that this seems to be the year when I get lumped in with 75 year olds. **** off, will you!

Aches and pains where there never used to be any was the sign I was no longer a whipper snapper. This has only been reinforced by a physio diagnosis last night following an ache in my neck that got progressivly worse. Pain spread from my neck to my shoulder, left arm and numbness in the hand. Turns out it is arthritis in the neck, a result of years of road riding/racing from a young age. 58 this year.

I’m much more content now in my mid-50s than I was at any point in my 40s, not sure if that is a consequence of aging or just moving on from a very manic busy period of work life and having a young family on my hands at the same time! I am also now getting out and about on my bike much more…

That’s the first 30 minutes of my sofa to 50K done!😆🥳

When it comes to exercise, i seem to train fairly hard to not get any fitter, but to just maintain a stable level of mediocre.

That and at 47 years of age, i am finally contemplating a pair of slippers as all of a sudden our wooden floors at home have become really hard!

That and if you do fall of bike, you have to wiggle every part of your body and run a full systems check to make sure nothing hurts before you get up, i used to just spring up and wipe myself down..

Dammit. You lot win.

Food getting stuck in your teeth

@IdleJon – perhaps you need to meet me and my mate on one of our dog walks/pub crawls in the Matlock area. You could help us with our research into the theory of tumbles?

Lolz at Hannah,that shoehorn looks like it could be weaponised 😆 🤣

I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..

TBH that’s an any age, always remember my mates funny story of one of his nuts popping out whilst he was sat down,in front of another mates mum who was taking his jeans up(she was a seamstress and the length of his jeans were bugging her).

Whenever I was there my only embarrassment was always caused by their jack russell shagging my leg.

That and at 47 years of age, i am finally contemplating a pair of slippers as all of a sudden our wooden floors at home have become really hard!

I just wear ‘sliders’ on our stone floors.

slippers are just meh, you’ll end up wanting to wear brown cardigans and brown nylon trousers that are one inch short.

@dudeofdoom – it’s sitting on them when older that becomes a problem, not exposing them! Although, occasionally now I discover my flyhole undone and I’m never sure whether I’ve forgotten to do it up or unzipped in preparation and then forgotten what I was about to do!

I wear socks and sandals around the house, largely to annoy judgemental arseholes who are labouring under the misapprehension that I give the slightest of ****s what they think about what I wear at home. 😁

largely to annoy judgemental arseholes

You share your house with judgemental arseholes? Otherwise how do you make it known to judgemental arseholes what you are wearing around the house? I am intrigued.

I wear socks and sandals around the house

i just made my peace with Cougar, welcome brethren. Calvin Kline socks and Birkenstocks all the way to the TV remote.

Can someone explain , I dont get this one – is your cock changing colour? I dont think thats due to aging……

TBH I can’t remember the colour of mine 30 years ago, although Mrs DoD did have a good laugh at the colour it went on my last great off,had the matching nuts that time and couldn’t get my jeans on as they were so bruised 🙂

Another one. The after effects of Dad strength. When you have a 14yo ripped athletic son whose goal is to win against Dad strength one day, but you have to hide the fact that you urgently need to lie on the floor and straighten your back out and take the pain away after he’s gone to bed.

I’m 45 next week and I can tick off far too many of the above points.

I’ve had 2 falls this last week, I slipped on ice and, well I won’t tell you the other thing I slipped and landed in, but I’m still scrubbing myself in bleach 4 days later. Due to this I ache all over and my knees that decided to give up last month hurt even more.

@dudeofdoom – it’s sitting on them when older that becomes a problem, not exposing them! Although, occasionally now I discover my flyhole undone and I’m never sure whether I’ve forgotten to do it up or unzipped in preparation and then forgotten what I was about to do!

Ah yes, I tend to wear the under armour or decathlon sports shorts if boxer day, baggy boxers aren’t much fun, pj’s used to cause me the most nut crunch.

I did look at a scrotal lift but does look a bit oooh 🙂

I wear socks and sandals around the house, largely to annoy judgemental arseholes who are labouring under the misapprehension that I give the slightest of ****s what they think about what I wear at home. 😁

just socks and sandals 🙂

Food getting stuck in your teeth

Teeth getting stuck in your food.

I did look at a scrotal lift but does look a bit oooh

Is that like a Stannah so they don’t catch on the stairs?

I’m 58, so Yes to most of the above, apart from shoe horns and discoloured wedding tackle!

I actually put slippers on my Christmas wish list this year. Nobody got me any 😟

Although I’ve been wearing North Face quilted tent mules for years as pseudo slippers. In the (probably mistaken) hope that they are somehow less uncool than full-on tartan grandad slippers.

scrotal lift

Is that something you get from Machine Mart?

Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and see how long it takes to smooth out again…

Anything over a second and you’re officially worn out….

FFS! Just tried this and it was about three seconds. I’ve drunk about fifty gallons of coffee today though so I’m blaming that.

Bought some Hugh Heffner style pyjamas from M&S (Modal Cyberjammies). And very comfortable they are too. The fact that they are desirable seems to be an indication of advancing age. Indoor footwear is a pair of Birkenstock slippers. Wool outer, cork insoles, rubber sole. Even the kids want a pair now!

Is that like a Stannah so they don’t catch on the stairs

Ah funny(dark humour) story of unintended consequences of a stannah.

One of my mums relatives/acquaintances was bought one by her family as a gift as she was getting on and the stairs must have been a problem, anyway did nothing bout moan about it and just used it for moving the ironing upstairs until the day she tripped over it and fell down the stairs and then moaned no more 🙁

So the moral in the tale is don’t look a gift stannah in the mouth 🙂

Is that something you get from Machine Mart?

I think the day I had to invest in a creeper was the day I realised this aging things bad news,at the age of 30 just chucking the carpet on the floor wasn’t going to be a thing anymore.

If I’m going away, the ‘essentials’ I pack now have this at the top of the list…

Since I turned 50 my previous cast iron and asbestos-lined guts have been wreaking a terrible revenge for all those years of abuse

I tend to have a yogurt if I eat spicey, but is heartburn/indigestion an aging thing?

Well apart from having a heart attack 🙁

but is heartburn/indigestion an aging thing?

It is for me. I’m 52 now and I’ve only had it the last couple of years. I bloody love spicy food but it now involves waking at 3am (probably for my third wee of the night) feeling like I’ve been gargling battery acid. It doesn’t stop me tucking into the jalapeño’s but I have the Gaviscon waiting within easy reach for the inevitable